Secrets
by EmmyGoldsworthy13
Summary: Everyone is entitled to at least one secret, right? Will a certain green-eyed best friend be able to help Clare? And will they fall in love along the way? Darker Fic.
1. Shards

**Hey guys! Thanks for all of the awesome reviews on my last 3 stories! They really mean a lot to me. As soon as I saw the reviews, I was smiling like an idiot the rest of the night. My parents thought I was crazy. But anyway, I thought I would try a darker fic. So, here it is. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Degrassi or any of it's characters.**

Friendship Club got out late, because Luke got caught up with reading a part of the bible aloud to the group. I hope my dad isn't home, he would be furious. I had to get home soon, I didn't have time to walk all of the way to my house. I walked out of the front doors of Degrassi, and walked down the steps, and sat at a bench a few feet away from the bottom of them. I needed a ride, and I knew who to call. I scrolled through my contacts, until I found his name. I pressed _call, _and it rang 4 times before he picked up.

"Hi Clare. What's up?" He answered in an expectant voice.

"Hi Eli. I need a small favor." I said softly, hoping that he wouldn't be busy.

"Anything. Is something wrong?" Eli asked, with a hint of worry in his tone.

"No, nothing's wrong. It's just, Friendship Club got out about half an hour late." I informed him. "And… I would be your _best friend _if you could come and pick me up in front of Degrassi." I asked him, silently hoping he would say yes.

"Wow, Jesus Club ran _late?_ Isn't that a _sin?_" Eli said playfully, and gave a small chuckle. I giggled while rolling my eyes. "And sure. You're out front, right?" Eli asked me. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Yeah. Thanks, Eli. I owe you." I said, thankful for having such a good friend.

"It's not a problem. I'll pick you up in five minutes?" He asked, as the sound of keys started jingling on the other line. I smiled.

"Okay. See you then." I told him. I heard a door open and shut, and the sound of footsteps in the background.

"Guess you will. Bye." He said, laughing, and hanging up his cell phone. I smiled wider, closed my cell phone, and put it in my pocket. I was so lucky to have a best friend like him.

Eli and I met each other when Mrs. Dawes assigned us as English partners. After a couple weeks, we became really good friends. Our writing styles are very different; his work is wordy, and mine is impersonal. But, when we edit each other's papers, it all evens out. He encourages me to step out of my comfort zone, and write what I really feel. When we combine both of our strong points, our papers are a guaranteed A. We balance each other out. We just… work. I have no idea why, though. We're polar opposites. He drives a hearse, and I ride a bike. He wears band t-shirts and skinny jeans, and I wear floral prints and denim with almost every outfit. We're very different, but we just… click.

My mom died in 2009. She was driving on the highway, and a semi-driver accidentally ran her off the road. She skidded into a ditch on the side of the road, and the car flipped three times until it stopped. I was a freshman at Degrassi at the time, and I was in media-immersion when Principal Simpson called me down to the office. I thought he called me down to praise my good grades, but when I walked into his office, I saw my father sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. That's when they told me. And I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My father took me home early. Within the next few days, that's when it really hit me hard. I stayed in my room for days. When I came out, I decided it was time for a good change instead of a bad one. I cut my hair, got rid of my catholic school uniform, and ditched my glasses. I would never forget that day. That day was the day that everything I knew rolled down a hill and crashed at the bottom. I fought back the tears that threatened to fall down my cheek.

That was the day that my dad started drinking.

I told Eli almost everything, and he did the same. We trusted each other. He told me about Julia, and how she died and how guilty he was afterwards. He told me of how afraid he was to throw anything away, and that he feared that everyone close to him would disappear into thin air. But I told him that I would stay, no matter what. That might be one of the reasons why we worked together so well. We shared a mutual understanding of what it was like to suddenly lose someone that was so vital to you.

I heard a loud honk, which snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked towards the noise, and Eli sat there with a smirk on his face in the driver's side of Morty. He motioned for me to get in, and I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, trying to get rid of any visible moisture. I stood up from the bench, grabbed my oversized black and green tote bag and slung it over my shoulder, and walked up to the passenger side of the hearse. I opened the car door, set me bag in the space in the seat between Eli and I, and sat down next to it. I closed the door, and Morty grumbled as he started. Eli drove out of the Degrassi parking lot, and headed down the route to my house. Eli spoke suddenly.

"On the way here, I thought of a way you could repay me for my best-friendly deed." Eli said, with his signature smirk on his face. _Oh God._ I thought. _What if he makes me do something embarrassing? _

"What's your idea?" I said wearily, with a look of fear on my face. Eli looked at my expression and chuckled.

"Don't look so afraid." He said, laughing again. I changed my expression to a normal one. A small smile came onto his face. "How about… I'll pick you up at 8, and we can go to The Dot?" Eli asked, with a hopeful expression.

"I would love to go." I told him with a small smile on my face.

"Cool." Eli said quietly, pulling into my driveway with a smirk on his face. I gulped, my dad's car was on the other side of the driveway.

"Thanks for the ride, Eli, I'll see you at 8." I told him, giving him a small side-hug, grabbing my bag, and opening my car door.

"Your welcome. See you then." He said, the smirk still on his face. I stepped out and shut the car door. I walked up the short walk to my front doorstep, and before I opened my front door, I looked back and waved. He waved back, smiling, and drove off down my street. My face dropped. I gulped again, and took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. I twisted the doorknob, and I walked in, placing my bag on the hardwood floor near the stairs, and shut the door. I didn't see my father anywhere, and I took my shoes off on the mat next to the door. I was grabbed my bag quietly, and tip-toed up the stairs as quietly as I could.

"Claaare? Are you home?" I heard my dad shout with slurred speech. I closed my eyes and cursed under my breath.

"Yeah, dad. I'm home." I said, turning around. My dad was stumbling out of the kitchen with a small glass in his hand. The glass had a yellowish liquid in it. _Oh God._

He was drunk.

"Where… Where were y-youu." My dad slurred. I swallowed audibly.

"I was in f-friendship club, it ran a little bit late…" I stuttered quietly. He clumsily slammed the glass down on the coffee table, clearly angry. I jumped at the sound.

"YOU'RE LYING, YOU LITTLE BITCH. WHAT, WERE YOU OUT FUCKING SOME BOY?" He shouted loudly and angrily. He picked up his glass of yellowish liquid, and threw it against the wall. The glass shattered into hundreds of tiny shards, and the liquid dripped down the wall. I felt my throat start to tighten.

"N-no, dad, I wasn't… I-I was at Friendsh-" I started to say, but my father cut me off with harsh words.

"SHUT UP, BITCH!" My father screamed at me, coming towards me and giving me a stinging slap across the face. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and it was a vile smell that made me want to throw up. My cheek stung, and I soon felt my eyes stinging with tears as well. "STOP LYING, YOU WHORE!" He shouted, his voice booming through the lower-level of the house. I saw it coming in slow motion. My father raised his fist, and punched me hard in the gut with a large amount of force. I hung over in pain, hugging my stomach and closing my eyes and silently praying to God that he wouldn't do this again. He reached up and grabbed my hair, pulling me down the stairs, but I tumbled down them. I screamed out in pain, tears staining my face.

"Dad, please don't do this…" I pleaded with him, looking up at him from the floor. I remember when I used to look up to him proudly, and when he'd swoop my up into his arms and comfort me when I fell. Now, he stared down at me in disgust.

"Well, someone's gotta' teach you a lesson!" He boomed at me. He lifted his foot, and swiftly kicked me hard in the stomach. I curled up, but it was no use. Tears ran down my face as he kept taking his foot back and kicking me, again and again and again. It felt like hours, but he finally stopped. I felt the world spinning around me, and I blacked out.

I don't know for how long, but after a time period, I had my head back and I opened my eyes. I viewed my surroundings, and I saw that my dad's shoes were gone. _Thank God._ I thought to myself. I tried to move to get up off the floor, but my stomach became sick as pain shot up my entire body. I flopped back down on the floor at the bottom of the stairs as straggling tears ran down my cheeks.

_Why would my own father do this to me?_ I thought miserably, my stomach throbbing. I glanced at the clock on the wall, and it read 7:37. Eli was coming to pick me up at eight! I desperately tried to ignore the shooting pain as I willed myself to get up. I took the first step, and I closed my eyes in agonizing pain. I whimpered as I went up another step. It took me a grueling few minutes to finally get up the stairs, and I limped into my bedroom. I walked unsteadily to my bathroom, and started the water in my shower. I sat down on the floor, my tears flowing like there was no tomorrow. I started to attempt to undress myself as I tried to ignore the contorting pain my stomach. The pain would fade, and then come back in a pang if I moved. I successfully got my jeans and panties off. Now, was the hard part. I stood up, whimpering in pain as I stood myself up. I put my arms up, biting my lip, as I delicately removed my shirt. I glanced at the mirror and did a double take.

There were black, blue, and purple splotches that spread all across my torso. I gingerly touched one with my index finger and winced. _Maybe I should cancel on Eli._ I thought.

No. I couldn't. Eli would wonder why, and he would get suspicious. I couldn't let him in on my horrible secret.

I delicately unhooked my bra and threw it on the floor. I limped into the shower as I held onto the peach-colored walls for support. I gingerly moved my limbs as I washed my body, agony ripping through my stomach at every movement. After I finished, I stepped out and dried myself off, trying to look past the mind-blowing pain in my gut.

I dressed myself carefully, wincing as I put on a bra and shirt. I put on some make-up over the red, blotchy mark on my face from when my father had slapped me. I put on a little bit of mascara, and got up and limped in pain as I walked down the stairs. I stepped over the glass shards on my way to the kitchen, and I winced with every step I took. I looked for the medicine cupboard, and I sighed in relief when I saw the Advil bottle in there. I took out three of them and popped them into my mouth and dry-swallowed them. I walked slowly and lightly out of the kitchen, and into the living room. I heard a knock on the door, and my mouth became dry.

_What if Eli saw through my charade? _I thought to myself. Or even worse. My body tensed up and froze, and I closed my eyes as even that action small action hurt. _What if it's my dad? _

I walked lightly to the door, limping with every step. I turned the doorknob, and opened the door a crack. I sighed in relief. I put on a fake smile.

It was Eli.

"Hey Clare, ready to go?"

**End of Chapter One.**

**I left kind of a cliffhanger there. (:**

**Like? Love? Hate? Write a review, please! Write comments, suggestions, anything! I've never done a story like this, so i'm sorry if it's not good. If you want me to post the next chapter soon, tell me in a review! Thanks again you guys for all of the awesome reviews. Like I said before, they mean a lot to me as a new writer here on FanFiction.**

**-Macy.**


	2. Unpredictable

**Hey Guys! This chapter is longer than the first one. This took a really long time to write, because I had some serious writers block. I picked the song _Homesick _by_ A Day To Remember_, because that was the song that inspired me to write this story in the first place. Enjoy the story!**

**Just a little shout-out to Kami: I hope you had fun on your cruise! ;)**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Degrassi, any of it's characters, or the song _Homesick_ by _A Day To Remember_.**

"Hey Clare, ready to go?" Eli asked me as I opened the door all the way.

"Yeah." I told him with a small fake smile as I flipped the switch off to the light in my living room. I tried not to limp as I shut the front door and stepped out onto my front porch. I locked the door, and put my house key in my back pocket. "Let's go." I said softly, wincing as I went down each step. When I reached the bottom, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up, and Eli was looking down at me with a worried expression.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking me up and down. I tensed up and began to fiddle with my hands as I thought of something to say.

"Yeah, I'm fine. When I was getting in the shower… I accidentally jammed my hip into the corner of the counter." I lied with a wry laugh.

"Oh. You're sure you're okay?" He asked again, with a look of concern on his face. I nodded.

"I'm fine. It just hurts to walk." I told him, hoping that he'll drop it and accept my lie.

"Do you want to lean on me?" He asked, holding out his arm and resting it on the small of my back. I made sure to keep a straight face and not wince at his action.

"Nope. Thanks, though." I said as he removed his hand from my back. "Let's go." I said with a small smile. He walked to the passenger side and opened the door, with an expectant face. My smile grew wider as I took faltering steps to the hearse. He stepped aside and I tried to slide in the seat with as little movement as possible, but as I sat down, my body tensed from the ripping pain in my stomach. It didn't go by unnoticed by a pair of emerald eyes.

"…You're obviously _not_ fine, Clare." He said, with a look of uneasiness. He reached for me to try to help me out of the car, but I stopped him.

"Eli. I'm okay, _really_. I think I just bruised a muscle or something." I lied to him, trying to reassure him that I was fine so that he wouldn't get suspicious. He let go, and I closed the car door, wincing as I did so. He rubbed his forehead with his hand, and walked around the front of the hearse and got in the driver's side. He started Morty, and I felt smug that he believed my lies. Eli drove down the street with the same uneasy expression. He turned on the radio, and pressed the channel of the rock station that his dad worked for. I heard Eli's dad Bullfrog announce the name of the next song, and Eli smiled a little bit, but soon his face fell.

"Okay, guys, it's Bullfrog here!" Eli's dad said, a little bit too enthusiastic. "Next, we have _Homesick_ by _A Day To Remember. _I hope you like the song, and keep rockin'!" Bullfrog said in his gruff, manly voice. I laughed at how cheesy Eli's dad can be. But I quickly grabbed my stomach in pain, as laughing made my stomach move, which guaranteed pain. Eli looked over at me with flat-out concern on his face as I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the pain as I listened to the song.

_**Everything around me seems much different from where I'm from,**_

_**And at this rate I think my fate's been sealed,**_

_**This life's so unpredictable.**_

_**We'll go continue to live a life that no one knows.**_

_**Everything about me seemed so much different when I was young.**_

_**I couldn't wait to take my place.**_

_**Two years have passed, good God, have I been gone?**_

_**So why, I've never felt so alone in my whole life. **_

_**Times not on my side.**_

_**Why does everything go wrong? **_

As I sat there and listened to the song, I fought back tears that threatened to fall down my cheeks. The lyrics made all of the bad memories come flooding back.

_When my mom died. _

_When my dad started drinking. _

_When I went to my mom's funeral. _

_The first time my dad hit me._

_My first kiss, and how much I regretted it._

_How alone I felt. _

I sniffled, and wiped my eyes as a few tears trickled down my cheeks. The song was over, but the memories would always be there. We pulled into The Dot, and as Eli parked his hearse, he gave me a look of complete worry. He put his hand on my shoulder. "Clare?" He said, starting to rub tiny circles into my shoulder with his fingers. Even that stung a little bit. "You okay?" He asked, with a look of fear in his eyes. Eli scooted closer in the bench seat of the hearse, and soon he was sitting directly next to me. He reached up with his other hand and wiped the tears that stained my face.

"Yeah." I sniffled. "It's just… the lyrics to that song brought back some bad memories." I told him, with a tiny, wry smile. "I'll be fine." I said, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. Eli had sadness and empathy in his eyes. I never told him about how my father drinks, and how… he does things when he's drunk. I only told him about my mom. Eli moved in to wrap his arms around me, but as soon as he did so, I whimpered and shut my eyes as the came back in a pang. He pulled back immediately, and apologized to no end.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry! I forgot…" Eli said, scratching the back of his head. He patted me on the knee, which didn't hurt nearly as much. "It'll be okay, Clare. I promise." He told me, with a determined look in his eye. I wanted so badly to believe him, but I had this heaviness in my heart that told me something opposite. I didn't know which to believe.

I smiled a bit at his 'promise'. "Thanks Eli." I said warmly.

"I'll get your door, don't worry about it." He said, scooting back over in the seat and opening his door. Eli ran around the front of Morty and opened my door, and gingerly tried to help me get out of the hearse. I squeezed my eyes as pain shot through my senses as I stood up. Eli stayed by my side as I limped up to the door that said _ENTER._ He opened the door for me, and I said a quiet thanks and shot him a small smile as I walked fervently over to a booth in the back. Eli walked to the counter and ordered our coffee. I carefully slid into the seat, cringing as my stomach muscles ached and pain ripped through my torso. I breathed a sigh of relief as I was finally able to fully sit down in the booth pain-free. A few seconds later, Eli slid into the seat in front of me, and gave me a small and careful smile.

"So, you must have hit that corner pretty hard, huh?" He asked, bringing up the last thing I wanted to talk about. My palms started to sweat, and I gulped inaudibly.

"Y-yeah… I need to start watching where I walk." I lied to him again. I felt horrible lying to him, because he told me basically everything. This… this, I didn't want to tell Eli. I still need to realize it myself, first. He nodded a few times while he squinted his when he was looking at me, an unsure look on his face. Right then, I was saved from this conversation. Peter came over with a tray. The tray had two black coffee cups with _The Dot_ and it's logo on them, and two muffins as well. I smiled, Eli knew that blueberry muffins were my favorite. Peter handed me my muffin and my coffee with a smile, and did the same to Eli.

Peter turned to me. "So, Clare, how've you been?" He asked, playing with a pen in his hands.

"I've been good." I told him, with a smile. I was about to ask him how he was, but Eli said something.

"Except she has a nasty habit of hitting her hips on counters." Eli muttered, with a pointed look towards me. I gave him a look back, and Peter was looking between us with an amused expression.

"Is there something I'm missing, here?" Peter asked with same amused expression. I told him no, and continued to talk with him.

"How have you been, Peter?" I said, changing the subject. He had a thoughtful look on his face, and then gave me a smile.

"I've been pretty good. I got accepted into Toronto University." He said, with a proud expression and a grin.

I smiled, too. "Wow! That's great! What are you going to major in?" I asked Peter.

"Photography." He answered. I smiled, he always did have a knack for cameras.

"That's perfect for you, Peter." I said, looking up at him. I heard Eli clear his throat loudly. I turned to look at him, wincing as I did so, and he quickly turned his gaze to something outside that was apparently interesting. I rolled my eyes.

"Well, Peter, it was good seeing you." I said to him, beaming at him.

"It was good to see you, too, Clare." He said quietly, giving me a pat on the shoulder. _Oww. _He flashed me a smile, and said, "Bye, Clare. I'll see you later." Peter backed up slowly, turned around, and went back behind the front counter. I grimaced as I turned back towards the table, and paid more attention to my muffin. I ripped a small piece off the top, and popped it into my mouth. I chewed slowly, and swallowed carefully. It stung a little bit as the food settled in my stomach. Then, Eli spoke.

"Well, he seemed awfully friendly." He said quietly, with an over-exaggerated, sarcastic, cheesy smile. He already had his muffin unwrapped, and he brought it up to his mouth and took a bite. I rolled my eyes again.

"He was my sister's ex-boyfriend." I told him, ripping off another piece and plopping it into my mouth. I washed it down with a drink of coffee, and it seemed less painful to do it this way. I looked over to Eli, and his eyes were wide.

"I didn't know you had a sister." Eli said, in awe.

"You never asked." I said, washing down another piece of muffin with coffee.

"Well, I just assumed you were an only chi- never mind. What's her name?" He said, looking curious.

"Darcy." I answered him, taking a sip of my coffee. "She went to Kenya after my mom died." I told him, trying to look past the panging feeling in my heart and brain as I talked about my mom. "She's been helping build schools there for a couple years, now. She broke up with Peter before she left. That's how he knows me." I said, inserting another piece of food into my mouth.

"Oh." He said, taking his last bite of his muffin. He crinkled up the wrapper and put it in the middle of the table.

"Darcy said she couldn't stand the look on my dad's face after my mom died. That's why she left." I lied, finishing my muffin as well. Darcy actually left because my dad started drinking, and she didn't want to stick around and watch our dad turn into an alcoholic. So she left for Kenya, and left me here in Toronto to fend for myself.

"That must've been tough, going through that without your sister." Eli said softly, pushing his empty mug to the middle of the table. I just stared into my cup, twirling my coffee around with thin, brown straw, blinking back tears as I remembered. Things got even worse after Darcy left, and my dad was rarely even home. He was always out at bars, or at 'work'. When he was actually home, he was usually drunk. And… you know what happens when he's drunk.

I sniffled. "You can bet it was." I said to him, pushing my unfinished coffee to the middle of the table beside his empty mug. I rubbed the tip of my nose with the back of my hand, and stared down at my hands. I froze, and my stomach muscles ached, but I didn't care. On my wrist, there was a purplish-blue bruise about the size of a quarter.

I quickly pulled my sleeve down, and thank God Eli didn't notice. He was looking outside as the cars passed by, and the street lights reflected off of the many windshields. He had a look of complete and utter sadness on his face as he stared off into the streets of Toronto. I put my own problems aside as I suddenly knew what he was thinking about.

_Julia._

Julia was Eli's ex-girlfriend, and he was in love with her. They were attached at the hip, and they were spitting images of each other. She had dark hair, and big brown eyes, and she wore black with every outfit.

One night, Eli found out that Julia was cheating on him with one of his best friends. He called her out on it, and she denied it. He knew she was lying. Eli blurted out all of his hurtful thoughts about Julia, but some he didn't mean. She ran out of his house crying, and got on her bike and was going to ride home. On her way there, she was hit by a car, and was killed on impact. Eli got the call from her frantic mother. He blames himself, and thinks that he killed her because if he hadn't said such hateful words to her, she wouldn't have rode off on her bike that night.

"_If she's dead because of me, why should I deserve to be happy?"_ I can remember him telling me. I had great sympathy for him, because I knew exactly how it felt to lose someone so… _vital._ He lost the love of his life, someone he thought he was going to marry.

And I lost my mom, the very definition of comfort and safety.

"Eli?" I asked quietly.

He jumped. "What?" He said quickly, whipping his head around, clearly startled at the sound of someone saying his name. He looked me in the eyes briefly, and then glanced down at the mugs and muffin wrappers in the middle of our table. "Oh. Um. Are you ready to go?" He asked, breathing quicker than he had before. I nodded, my cinnamon curls bouncing. He gave me a small grin, and slid out of the booth. He walked up to the counter and stood behind someone as he waited to pay.

Now that he was on the opposite side of the café, I lifted up my sleeve. The purple bruise was staring me right in the face. I delicately ran my fingers over the discoloration in my skin, and I felt a twinge of pain. I sighed, and put my sleeve back down over my wrist. I glanced over at Eli, and he was giving the person behind the counter a ten dollar bill. He put away his wallet, and peered over at me. Our eyes met, and I quickly looked away. _Ouch._ The left side of my head hurt. _Oh._ I thought to myself in realization. That's the bunch of hair my father had grabbed in his drunken anger. I put my hand to the side of my head, and risked another glance at Eli. He was walking towards the booth.

"Let's go." He said, with a little smile. I attempted to get up, but just sat back down as a rush of agony shot through my torso. I glanced at him, and he had a doubtful look in his green eyes. I thought of an idea, and I tried to slide out of the booth without using my stomach muscles. I successfully got out of the booth, and stood up.

"Are you sure all you did was hit your hip on a counter?" Eli asked, reaching out to help support me. My palms started to sweat. He put his hand on my side to help support me, and I cringed and whimpered quietly. He quickly pulled away, with a mixture of concern and doubt in his expression. I had to lie to him again.

"Yes, I'm positive." I said, trying to keep the pained look off my face. I could tell Eli didn't believe me. My heart skipped a beat. _What if he knows?_ I thought in a panic. I walked with Eli, and made faltering steps across the restaurant, walking around the many tables in the café. We made it to the door, and he opened it for me and stood aside as I walked through. He shut the door, and was at my side again. I limped over to Morty, and Eli opened the door of the hearse for me. I gently sat down, taking in a deep breath and slowly blowing it out. He shut my door, and walked around the front and got in the driver's side. He started the hearse, and it made a low rumbling noise as Eli pulled out of The Dot.

I stared out the window for the majority of the ride. I watched as tiny water droplets hit the windows with a quiet _thump._ The drops made a trail of water as they dripped down the exterior of the window, and it almost seemed as if they were racing. Eli turned his windshield-wipers on, and I turned back to look out the window. There was a business woman hurrying along the sidewalk with an umbrella, and I wondered where she was rushing to. The Grocery Store down the street? Her work? Home? I sighed, as I realized I didn't even know what home was anymore. I looked at the digital clock on the dashboard, and it read 9:48. I silently prayed that my dad wouldn't be at the house when I got there. Eli pulled onto my street, and cruised along until he pulled into my driveway. You can't understand the relief I felt when I didn't see my dad's car on the other side of the driveway.

"When you get in, you should put some ice on your hip." Eli said with a hint of suspicion in his tone. I nodded.

"I will." I told him as I opened my door. I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes as I got out of the door and stepped onto the pavement, shutting the door. I limped up the walk to my front porch, and I got my key out of my back pocket. I put in the lock, turned it, and the door pushed open with a soft _click._ I turned around and waved to Eli, trying not to move my stomach too much. He waved, keeping a straight expression on his face, and backed out of my driveway. He drove off down the street, and I watched him drive away until I couldn't see Morty's red tail-lights anymore. I stepped inside the house, and shut the door softly. I took off my chuck-taylor sneakers, and grimaced as I saw the mess off glass and the pool of yellow liquid at the base of the light blue living room wall. I walked carefully over to the coat closet, and winced as I bent down and picked up the dust pan. I grabbed the broom in my other hand, shut the closet door, and walked gingerly over to the mess. I set the dust pan on the hardwood floor, and began to sweep the glass shards into it.

After most of them were in the dust pan, I winced as I bent over and picked up the pan. Then, I limped into the kitchen, and slid the shards from the pan into the trash can. I grabbed some paper towel from the kitchen counter, and walked gently over to the closet and put the broom and dust pan back in. I trudged softly back over to the pool of yellow liquid, and flinched as I painfully got down on my hands and knees and began to wipe it up. I made a face as the alcohol burned my nostrils, and picked up the pace so I didn't have to breath the awful smell in more than I had to. I slowly got up off of my hands and knees, and whimpered as I stood up and walked into the kitchen to dispose of the paper towel. I limped over to the fridge, and opened up the freezer to get an ice pack. The coolness of it began to make my pads of my fingers numb. I walked up each step slowly, trying not to make much movement of my torso. I got to the top of the stairs, and took fervent steps to my room.

I gently sad down on my bed, grimacing as I did so. I made a move to lay down, and I squeezed my eyes shut as my stomach twisted with pain. I laid flat on my bed, and put my head on my pillow as I lifted up my shirt. I glanced down, and my stomach looked swollen and discolored. I hope this wasn't serious, I wouldn't be able to lie to a doctor. I hissed in pain as I touched the ice pack to my swollen belly. After the ice pack was fully on, I sighed in relief as it didn't hurt anymore. My eyelids were heavy, I had had a long day. Thank God it's Friday, then I wouldn't have to explain anything to Adam or Ali. My eyelids slowly drifted shut as I went off to dreamland, where it was pain-free.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

I awoke to a strange noise. I looked at my alarm clock on my nightstand, and it read 12:34. I felt something dripping down my stomach, and I looked down to see that my ice pack had melted. I tossed it somewhere across my room and sat up, relieved that my stomach didn't hurt as much. What I heard next made me tense up and freeze in fear.

I heard the front door close.

**End of Chapter 2. **

**I left another cliffhanger, there. (:**

**So, did you like it? Love it? Hate it? Tell me your opinion in a review! I'll hopefully have the next chapter up by July 12th or earlier. Have a great weekend. (:**


	3. I Can't Let Him Win

**Before I say 'Here it iss, blah blah blahh', I just wanted to applaud my friend Kami for discovering a new love for Elijah Thomas Goldsworthy. Welcome to Team Eli, Kami. (:**

***Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of it's characters, but I can dream. **

**Here's chapter 3! Enjoyy. **

I heard the front door close.

I listened intently for any more noises, and I tensed up further as I heard footsteps walking across the hardwood floor of the living room. I winced slightly as I froze, my stomach still hurt a little bit, but not nearly as much as before. The ice pack must have helped.

My eyes darted to the crack below my door, where the soft glow of the kitchen light downstairs seeped beneath my door. I watched for a few minutes, until the light clicked off and the soft glow disappeared. My mind clouded with fear as I heard clomping footsteps make their way up the stairs. I saw a dark shadow through the crack below my door, and I froze in fear.

_What if he comes in my room and hits me again?_

I started to shiver as the cold fear coursed through my body, as I waited for my door to open. But it never did. I watched as the dark shadow moved past my door, and I sighed in relief as it passed. I heard my dad's bedroom door close down the hall, and I let myself relax. For now, I was safe. I laid back down gently, and tried to drift off to sleep. But I couldn't stop thinking about all that had happened yesterday.

I couldn't even think of a single thing that set my dad off into his drunken fit of rage. But, I guess that's how it usually goes. Once, he told me I deserved it.

"_You're a whore, and you deserve everything you get."_ He told me in his slurred, drunk voice. I remember he spit on the floor near my feet, and gave me a cold glare over his shoulder as he stumbled into the kitchen to get another drink. I shivered at the memory. Next, my thoughts took a completely different turn.

I remembered the last trip my family took, when I was in eighth grade. We drove to a ski resort in Vancouver, and we stayed there for the weekend. That was the weekend when my dad taught me and Darcy how to ski. My mom just watched, laughing when my father made jokes. I missed my mom's laugh, it was like a bell. I can't remember the last time my father laughed. After my father taught me the basics, we went to the top of the ski hill. I can still feel the feeling of having power as I stood there at the top, looking down at all of the people that looked small enough to be ants. My father gave me a small push, flashing me a smile as I began to slide down on my skis. I kept my ski's straight, my eyes ahead, my elbows back, and my knees bent, just like he told me. I made it to the bottom, and I can remember the feeling of accomplishment hovering over my head, and it felt great. I haven't felt the feeling since my mom died.

My cheeks were wet, and when I wiped them, I realized they were tears. I miss my fun, happy family, and I would give almost anything to have it back.

_But I can never have it back_, I thought to myself miserably as more tears fell. I quickly wiped them, and rolled over in bed as I tried thinking of something different.

I can still picture the doubt and concern in Eli's eyes, and my breathing sped up as I thought of what would happen if he found out my secret. I couldn't let him know.

My eyelids were heavy again, and they began to close slowly. They closed fully, and pictures of ski hills, my laughing mother, my joking father, Darcy, and a happy family filled my dreams.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

My eyes flickered open. There was light streaming in through the spaces in my curtains, and I gingerly got up from my bed and closed them all the way. I glanced at my alarm clock next to the picture of my mother, and it read 11:13. I listened for any movement downstairs that my father might be making, but I heard nothing. I quietly opened my door and listened again.

Nothing.

I walked down the stairs, and winced a little bit with each step. I peered around the bottom of the stairwell, and I saw that my dad's car keys weren't hanging on his key hook. My dad doesn't work on weekends, so he must be out doing something else. I had a hunch that he was probably going out with some women. Or, _staying in_, if you know what I mean.

I looked in the fridge for something to eat for lunch, but I sighed when I saw that it was almost empty. My stomach growled, and I made a face as I felt a twinge of pain course through my torso. I took deep breaths as I rode out the pain. After it had passed, I looked in the cupboard for some cereal. I saw a half empty box of Cheerios, and grabbed it from the shelf. I went to another cupboard for a bowl, and I set it on the table as I poured until the Cheerios almost reached the top. I put the cereal back, and opened the almost-empty fridge to grab some milk. I watched the cereal rise up a little bit as I poured, and then I put the milk back.

And as I stared at the tiny loops of deliciousness, I got a spoon and took a few bites. I chewed carefully, and swallowed. Once again, when the food settled in my stomach, I felt a dull ache. I followed the same procedure until the bowl was empty. I rinsed off my dishes in the sink, and loaded them into the dishwasher. Then, I proceeded to cautiously walk up the stairs and into my bathroom. I squirted some tooth paste onto my tooth brush, and brushed my teeth. Next, I started the shower and set it to a decent temperature.

I began to gently removed all of my clothes, and looked at myself in the mirror. My stomach had several patches of purple and blue discoloration, and some splotches were fading to a light shade of green. I still had the bruise on my wrist, some on my arms, and I had one on my right shoulder. I looked down, and I had a few of them on my hips, but they didn't look too bad. My stomach definitely had the most bruising, but the swelling had gone down tremendously since yesterday. I pressed my index finger to one of the worst bruises, and I winced a little bit as I applied some more pressure. But, it didn't hurt nearly as had as when I had done it yesterday. I stepped into the shower, washed my hair and body carefully, and stepped out and wrapped a light pink towel around myself. As I stepped onto the bath-mat, I wiped the steam off of the mirror and looked at myself. I looked tired, even though I had just slept for about ten hours. I put on a small amount of mascara, and little bit of shimmering white eye shadow.

I walked out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, and picked out clothes to wear. I picked out a black tank top with flowers on it, and with lace around the neckline, and a light gray long-sleeved shirt to hide the bruise on my wrist. Then I picked out a pair of panties and matching bra, and a pair of dark blue denim shorts that went down to around mid-thigh. I put everything on, looked at myself in my full-length mirror on my purple wall. The shorts covered up the bruises on my hips, and I smiled.

Eli wouldn't suspect a thing, if he saw me right now.

I heard a light buzzing coming from my nightstand, and I looked over to see my phone vibrating and lighting up. I walked over to see who it was, and speak of the devil, it was Eli.

_Did the ice help? -Eli_

I grinned. I was so lucky to have a best friend that cared about me so much, and I felt my face grow red with a blush. Wait. A _blush?_ _Why was I blushing? _I shook the thought away, and proceeded to text him back.

_Yeah, it actually did. It doesn't hurt nearly as much as yesterday. Thanks. (: -Clare _

I shut my phone and put it back in my pocket, and walked down the stairs, wincing lightly with each careful step. When I reached the bottom, I sat down gently on my brown leather couch in my living room, and noticed a dented ring on the coffee table. It was right where my father had slammed his glass of alcohol down on the table yesterday. I gulped as I remembered. I traced the ring with my fingers, and then my phone vibrated again. I flipped it open, and read the text message from Eli.

_I'm glad it helped. Do you want to hang out? -Eli_

I felt my lips curl up at the edges at his question, and I immediately texted him back.

_Sure. I'll meet you at the park in fifteen minutes? -Clare_

I waited for him to text back. About a minute later, he did.

_Sounds good. See you then. -Eli_

I carefully got up from the couch, and went to the kitchen to get three more Advil. I washed them down with a glass of water, and put the cup in the sink as I grabbed my house key from the kitchen counter and put it in my pocket. I put on a pair of black chuck-taylor sneakers, and walked out my front door, locking it before I trotted down the steps cautiously. I continued to walk down the front walk, and turn right on the sidewalk and kept walking until I got to the end of my street. The park wasn't very far away, so I took my time looking around at the scenery around me as I walked along the sidewalk. I glanced over as I heard a little girl screaming, and then smiled when I saw that she was jumping through a sprinkler.

"It's cooold!" I heard her shout, and then an older girl jumped through after her. They were both giggling, and it looked like they were having a blast. I smiled sadly as I remembered how Darcy and I used to do the same thing.

I looked away and walked along, until I saw the entrance to the park. In the distance, I could see a black vintage hearse parked along the side of the road, and I put on a smirk of my own as I got closer to the park. I could make out a person with dark brown hair, black jeans, and a dark gray t-shirt laying out in the grass behind the swings. As I approached the park, I knew it was Eli. He was laying there with his eyes closed, and his hands behind his head. I walked up the path to the playground, and walked off the path as I made my way over to Eli.

"Hey." I said, smiling and wincing as I laid down beside him. He turned his head and looked at me, with an amused expression.

"Have you ever played a game called Truth?" He asked.

"Hi Clare, how are you? Fine, Eli, thanks for asking." I said sarcastically, stealing what he had said to me once. He rolled his eyes, chuckled, and continued.

"Just answer the question." He told me, looking deep into my eyes. I quickly looked away and felt a blush warm my cheeks.

_Why was I always blushing around him?_

I looked back and noticed him smirking and looking at the ground. He looked so cute.

_Wait, what was I saying! I am not allowed to call my best friend cute. _

"N-no, I haven't… What is it?" I said, stuttering at first, and then my speech turned back to normal.

"Well, it's like Truth or Dare, except there's no dares." He said, with his signature smirk. I never noticed before, but his smirk was adorable. I could have looked at it for hours, but he cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow. My face grew ten shades of red, and I bit my lip before I asked him another question about the game.

"So… How do you play?" I asked him, curious. His smirk grew bigger as he told me about it.

"Well, there's only three rules: You have to tell the truth at all costs, you absolutely _have _to answer, no matter _what._" He said. "But, you get to pass on one question, and only one." He said seriously, pointing his index finger at me. I nodded. "Oh, one more thing. The game only ends, when you say it does. Will you play?" Eli asked, sticking out his lower lip and giving me puppy dog eyes. I laughed lightly at his expression, and he gave up on his pleading face and replaced it with a beaming smile.

"I'll play." I said, giggling, and then wincing as there was too much movement with my stomach. Eli's smile faltered as he stared at my pained expression, and then glanced down to my stomach. I quickly interrupted his examination as I asked the first question.

"Why do you drive a hearse?" I asked him, changing the direction of his eyes as he stared at me as I waited for his answer. His gaze landed on the ground, and he put on a thinking face as he thought of an answer.

"I drive Morty because, I don't like being like everyone else. And, when I see the faces of people as I pull up in a hearse… It's great." He said with a small chuckle. I smiled at his answer, it was so… _him_.

"My turn." Eli said quietly, thinking of a good question to ask me. "Um… what's your favorite band?" He asked. I scoffed at his question. "A Day To Remember. My turn to ask a question." I said, scrunching up my nose as I thought of a question to ask him. I heard him laugh lightly, and I turned to him. "What?" I asked him, wondering what he was laughing about.

"Your thinking face." He said, laughing again. I blushed, and turned to look at the sky. I cursed to myself as I wondered again why I always blushed around him. I didn't like him…

_Right? _

I shook the thought away as I thought of another question.

"What's your most embarrassing moment?" I said, raising one eyebrow and challenging him to answer.

"_Shit."_ I heard Eli mutter under his breath as he took a breath and blew it out slowly while closing his eyes. He opened them as he began to tell me his most embarrassing moment. "That would probably be when CeCe caught me and Julia making out, and then proceeded to give us 'The Talk' as we both just sat there awkwardly. Yeah, that's probably it." He said, looking down at the grass and smiling sadly as he had thoughts about Julia. I flinched as I rolled over onto my side and put my hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me, and smiled as I comforted him without words. _It'll be okay, _my eyes told him as I removed my hand.

Eli squinted his eyes as he looked into the bright afternoon sky, thinking of a question to ask me. He glanced down at me, and looked from my stomach to my eyes.

"Why are you wearing a long-sleeved shirt, on a hot day in the middle of May?" He said, gesturing to my shirt with his hand. I felt myself tense up at his question, and cringe at the action. I quickly thought of something that would get me out of this without lying.

"Why are you wearing black skinny jeans?" I challenged, painfully rolling back over onto my back and crossed my arms over my chest. I took a glance at him out of the corner of my eye, and he was staring at the grass again as he had the same look that he did last night: A mixture of doubt, concern, and suspicion. He quickly saw me looking, and his face immediately brightened as he said, "Touche." I laughed, but he still had the look on his face, noticing that I avoided his question.

_Oh God._ I thought. _He knows something is wrong._ I've hid everything pretty well the last couple of years, but I've usually had to hide it from Ali. Although, my dad has never done anything nearly as bad as yesterday. But, nothing was missed under Eli's watchful eyes. I quickly changed the subject by asking another question, taking a completely different route to the conversation.

"Who do you have a crush on?" I asked him, turning my head to look at him as my body stayed flat. He snapped out of his thoughts, looking up quickly. "What? Oh. Um… Pass." Eli muttered softly, staring back down at the grass, and tearing some of it up as he tugged on it with his fingers.

Did he think it was awkward talking about that with me? Or did he just not want me to know who it was? I didn't get to guess anymore, because he asked a question that made me stiffen.

"Did you really just hit your hip on a counter, or was it something else?" He asked with a serious face, not looking me in the eye. I started to shake slightly.

_He knows. _I thought miserably, being paranoid. _Wait, he can't know. He hasn't seen any of the bruises or anything. _I sighed in relief as I realized this to myself. But, I'm pretty sure he knows something's up just by the way he slips it into our conversations. I quickly tried to stand up, but made a face as pain shot up my spine as I did. Eli quickly stood up too, and then we were face to face. I gulped as I felt my hands start to shake again.

"This game is over." I told him with clenched teeth, glaring at him as I walked past him.

"Clare, wait." He spoke softly. I felt him grab my arm, and I grimaced as I felt his fingers press force onto one of my bruises. I ripped my arm out of his grip, and turned around to face him.

"Did you not hear me?" I snapped at him. "I said, the game is over." I said, my tone icy. I looked him in his eyes, trying to get my point across using my eyes. But I was surprised as his face looked pained, and he almost seemed like he was pleading with me to tell him the truth with his jade eyes. I quickly looked away, and turned around before I changed my mind. I felt a stinging in my heart as I trudged across the grass, and I felt his eyes burning holes in my back as I walked away from him.

Unshed tears lingered in my eyes as I went past the entrance to the park, looking both ways before I crossed the busy street and back onto the sidewalk. I quickly wiped my eyes with my hand, and checked my cell phone for the time. 1:58. I turned onto my street, and walked carefully and slowly with each step. My neighbors black lab was whining as it was pawing at the front door, and the high pitched noise made me shiver a little. When I reached my driveway, I trudged up my front walk and stood there on the porch as I unlocked my front door. It swung open, and I stepped inside my house. I didn't even close the door, because I just locked it and stepped back out.

There was somewhere I wanted to be.

As I walked the sidewalks for a second time, I found a patch of pretty blue flowers, and I picked one as I continued to walk. A few minutes later, as I turned into the gate, and I felt it was where I _needed _to be. I walked around many stones, until I found the one I was looking for with a tear in my eye.

_Helen Edwards_

_1968-2009_

_Gone, but never forgotten._

I felt the tear make a trail down my cheek as I read the words, and I cringed as I gently sat down in front her gravestone. I set the blue flower in front of the grave.

_She always liked flowers. _I thought to myself.

I cleared my throat as it started to tighten, and I spoke quietly.

"Hey mom." I murmured softly, smiling sadly as I remembered her voic_e. _"I haven't visited you in a long time… I'm sorry. But I needed to talk to you." I said, fiddling with my hands as I talked to her. "I miss you every day, mom… I hope you know that." I said quietly, the tears flowing more freely now. "But I just don't know what to do." I muttered, my voice cracking on the last word as I put my head in my hands. "Mom… dad hits me. I'm finally realizing it myself now, and I realized it's not just going to go away." I said, wiping my moist cheeks with the back of my hand. "Eli… he knows something's wrong. And he's not just going to drop it, because… well, he's Eli." I said with a small smile, but it soon faltered as I continued. "I don't want to tell him, mom. I don't know why, but… I just don't. Maybe it's because… because he's my best friend, and… I-I love him, and I'm just figuring that out." I said, using the word love to describe what he was to me, because that's the only way I could really describe the way I felt.

_I loved him._ His smiles brightened my day, and his eyes just made me want to melt in them. Whenever he gave me a hug, I wanted to stay there forever, because I knew I was safe when I was with him. His voice that was usually dripping with sarcasm made me laugh, and his sweetness made my heart flutter. Whenever I looked at him, my stomach got butterflies. And the way he protects me… it made me feel loved.

I took a deep breath as I felt this light feeling in my stomach, and I realized I hadn't felt it in almost two years.

I never really noticed any of these things when I was around Eli before, but I felt like I had felt them all along.

_I just never knew it. _

I sat there for hours, telling my mom about my life and everyone in it. It felt comforting to know that, somewhere, she might be listening. As I finished telling her about everything, I smiled as I stood up carefully, wincing as I did so. "Thanks mom." I said softly, pressing my lips to the top of the gravestone before walking away. I felt better as I stepped out of the cemetery, and it felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. I couldn't keep the small grin off of my face as I walked home, actually feeling good for once. I turned to go on a side road that lead to my street, and at the end of that road I turned. My neighbors' houses came into view, and I saw the black lab out in the yard running after a tennis ball.

I looked towards my driveway as I got closer, and I stopped in my tracks when I saw my dad clumsily getting out of a car, and then stumbling his way up the front walk to the door. My hands started shaking as fear clouded my vision, and everything became blurry as I continued along the sidewalk until I stopped in front of my driveway. I just couldn't bare to move my feet any closer to the drunken mess that's in that house. I had to go in there.

I was just afraid of what would happen if I did.

I urged myself to move my legs, and amazingly, it worked. I walked hesitantly up the front walk and up the steps, and stood there on the doormat as I hesitated whether to go in or not. I wanted to bolt off of that doorstep, and run until I couldn't look back. But I knew I couldn't. So I took a few deep breaths, and blew them out slowly as I willed myself to twist the doorknob and step into the hellhole that is my house.

I froze as I saw that the TV was on, and that my dad was sitting on the couch, with a glass in his hand with clear liquid in it. I silently prayed that it would be water, but I knew inside that it wasn't. Our eyes met, and I could see the anger in them as I stepped back in fear.

"WHERE W-WERE YOU?" He shouted at me with drunken slurs. I gulped as I knew I had to lie to him.

"I was… with a friend." I lied, trying to stay calm so that he wouldn't see my fear. I knew my hands were shaking, so I quickly put them behind my back as he continued to scream at me.

"YOU LYING LITTLE WHORE! WHERE T-THE FUCK WERE YOU!" He screamed at me, and my throat tightened as a tried to hold back tears as I knew what was coming.

"With a friend." I said sternly, attempting to be strong and not act like the scared little girl that I felt like inside. He stood up from the couch, his knuckles white as he formed fists with his hands out of anger. Before he even stumbled half way across the living room, I screamed.

"NO!" I screamed as loud as I could, and then did my best to run up the stairs, ignoring the pain as I felt fear course through my veins. I could hear him stumbling quickly behind me, and that just made me run faster.

"GET BACK HERE, BITCH!" He shouted from about the third step, and then continued to chase me, stumbling and falling on his way up the stairs. I made it to the top, and darted for my room. I yelped as I heard him coming, and I quickly slammed my door shut. I heard the loud noise echo through my medium-sized room as I heard him shouting and clomping up the stairs clumsily. I heard my dad's steps stop, and the only thing I could hear was the TV downstairs and the loud beating of my heart thumping in my chest as I waited for something, anything, to happen. I leant against the door, listening for anything that was a sign that my dad was coming. I heard slow steps getting closer to my door, and my heart raced as I waited. I jumped as the doorknob started jiggling, and then he pounded on my door loudly as my tears started to fall. I put all of my weight on the door as pushed against it with all of his strength. I jammed my body against the door, and it shut. I thought I had won, but I was horribly wrong.

The door flung open as my dad rammed into it, and the force of the door flinging open sent my body flying towards the wall. I screamed as my back hit the wall with a loud _bang._ My door slammed closed as my father saw me cowering against the wall in pain, and I squeezed my eyes shut as he began to walk towards me.

"YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN JUST RUN AWAY? HUH?" He shouted in my face, grabbing my chin roughly and making me open my eyes to look at him. "HUH?" My dad yelled, jerking my chin around, getting close to my face as I saw pure fury in his eyes. I decided that for once in my life, I would stand up to my father and not stand there doing nothing as he broke me.

"YES! BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST A SICK, DRUNK BASTARD WHO HITS YOUR OWN _CHILDREN!_" I screamed in his face, swatting his hand away from my chin. His knuckles turned white as his hand turned into a fist again, and then he pulled it back and punched me as hard as he could in the stomach. I screamed out in pain as agony rushed through me, and it reached every last part of my mind as I doubled over, coughing and sputtering for air as I endured the pure torture as my stomach turned sick. I felt like throwing up as I turned my head to look up at my father, and he was smiling sickly as he looked down at me. He grabbed me by my shoulders and slammed me back up against the wall, as I shrieked when I felt the familiar burning in my shoulders and upper back. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks as he got dangerously close to my face as he spoke sinisterly.

"Maybe one day you'll learn to _listen._" He said with clenched teeth, and then jerking my chin as he pushed my body down onto the ground, and I sat there in the fetal position bawling until he took faltering drunk steps out my door. I gripped my stomach at the intense pain of my chest burning as I tried to gulp in air. I heard my dad's bedroom door close as I hissed as the pain came back in a pang. My stomach twisted in excruciating pain as I clenched my eyes and endured through it. I wiped my tears, and decided I wasn't going to just lay here crying, and let my father win. I scrunched up my face in pain as I crawled over to my bed, and used it to help myself up. My arms and shoulders burned as I stood myself up, and I limped out of my bedroom. I quietly whimpered as I took the first step down the stairs, and took a few more. My legs shook as I stepped down some more, and I made a face as my stomach throbbed.

I had to get out of the house. I couldn't let him win.

I got to the bottom of the stairs and sighed in relief as I stepped fervently across the hardwood floor of my living room. I twisted the doorknob as my breathing picked up, and then flinched as the air burned it's way down my throat. The door opened, and I shut it quietly as I stumbled as I stepped off of my porch and made my way down the stone steps.

I thought of somewhere I could go where I was safe, and I turned right as I limped down the sidewalk. The streetlight above my head flickered as I started my painful trek across town to my safe haven.

**End of Chapter 3. **

**Ahh, I looove Cliffhangers. Aren't they great? So, where do you think Clare is headed? Leave your guess in a review. (:**

**Did you like, love, or hate this chapter? Put your opinion in the review, too. (: **

**-Macy**


	4. You're A Terrible Liar

**Hey Guys, I'm sorry this chapter is shorter than the others. But I was having some really bad writers block, and everything I wrote past the ending point of this chapter didn't sound as good as I wanted it to. So I'm going to probably post another chapter tomorrow or Thursday. Specifically, this chapter kind of explains all of Clare's feeling towards her situation at home. Enjoy this shorter chapter!**

***Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Degrassi or any of it's characters. But this story is all mine, baaaby!**

I thought of somewhere I could go where I was safe, and I turned right as I limped down the sidewalk. The streetlight above my head flickered as I started my painful trek across town to my safe haven.

I took careful steps on the darkened sidewalks as I listened to the soft whirring noises of cars as they passed. I approached a wooden bench, and it had a girl about my age curled up on it. From where I was standing, she looked like she was shaking. But as I got closer, I noticed she crying. She lifted her head, and her teary brown eyes met my blue ones. I gasped as I saw the pure despair that filled her large doe eyes. I quickly closed my gaping mouth, as I realized that mine probably looked similar.

As I limped past her, I heard her sniffle softly. I looked over my shoulder as I walked on, and she had tears streaming down her face as she watched me walk down the sidewalk. I turned my head back around and continued to take fervent steps as I turned a corner, and then crossed a street as I made my way to Eli's house. A tear clouded the corner of my eye, and I wiped it with my finger as I saw the moisture puddle onto my finger. I wiped it on my jean shorts as I took my phone out of my pocket to check the time, and I quickly became aware of the sharp ache in my shoulders and upper back. I sighed, and opened my phone, and the time read 8:21. I put my cell phone back in my pocket, and crossed the busy street as I strode onto a side road

I heard birds chirping, and I looked to the sound. In front of me, there were small birds hopping and pecking the sidewalk.

_Why were they there on the sidewalk, if they had a nest to go home to?_

I continued walking, as the scenario seemed scarily familiar. As I approached the tiny clump of birds on the sidewalk, they all scattered. I wasn't far from Eli's house now, only a few more minutes and I would be standing in his driveway. I realized I would have to lie to him again, and I quickly thought up of an excuse to tell him.

I kept up my pace as I approached the end of the road, and turned onto Eli's street. There weren't many streetlights on his road, so a majority of it was dark. There were a few areas where the lights' heavy rays shined down onto the street, and I had a small smile as I saw the rear end of a black hearse with skulls and a pointy fin on the back. I kicked a medium-sized rock that laid in the middle of the street, and I winced as I decided that it wasn't a good idea. The pain in my stomach felt like it had claws as it tried to rip its way through my skin, and I wrapped my arms around my torso as I rode out the searing pain.

_My dad really did it this time_, I thought while a lone tear dripped down my cheek.

I wiped my cheek with my sleeve as I stopped in front of the curb of Eli's driveway, and looked up at his house. I saw one window with light pouring from it, but all of the others remained black. As I limped up his driveway, I hoped that that one window was his. I winced as I stepped onto his porch, and when I did, the automatic porch-light clicked on. I swallowed audibly as I raised my arm to knock on the door, and I whimpered when I felt the burning between my shoulders. Instead of knocking, I rang the doorbell, and I heard the bell from inside the house. My palms started to sweat as I heard footsteps from inside the house, and then the living room light clicked on. The person opened the door, and I put on a smile as I saw who it was.

"Clare!" Cece answered excitedly, holding her arms out, silently asking for a hug. She stepped a bit closer, and I knew I might regret this, but I hugged her. She wrapped her arms around my back, and she wiggled a bit as she laughed. My face contorted with pain as the unbearable burning shot through my shoulders and back, and I quickly retracted from the hug. "What brings you here at this time of night?" She asked, as I kept the look of pain off of my face and replaced it with a fake smile as Cece gave me a strange look.

"I, um, need to talk to Eli." I said with a small smile as I looked up at her cheerful face, but I saw a glint of worry in her eyes as she eyed me up and down.

"Why don't you come in, and then I'll go get him. He's up in his room." She said, motioning me inside as I took a few careful steps into the house. She shut the door behind me, and took off upstairs to go retrieve my best friend. This definitely wasn't my first time here, it was practically my second home. I come here a lot to work on and edit English assignments with Eli, and I loved their house. Since they're such a 'Rock and Roll' family, you wouldn't expect their house to look so… homey. There were pictures of a younger Eli on the walls in frames, and I smiled as I saw one where he had missing teeth. There was another when he was probably twelve or so, and he was wearing a band t-shirt and was standing in front of a stage with his thumbs up. _Shocker._

I turned my head as I heard footsteps, and I saw Cece coming down the stairs. She had a smile on her face, as she said, "You can just go on up there." I nodded and flashed her a smile as she walked down the steps into their family room in the basement. I waited until I heard the door close downstairs, and then I cautiously made my way over to the bottom of the staircase. I stepped up on the first step, and clutched my stomach as the animalistic pain made itself known again. I tried to put the agony in the back of my mind, as I reached the middle of the staircase. I squeezed my eyes shut as I went up two more steps, and when I was almost at the top, I looked up.

Eli's room was the first door on the left of the hallway, and I saw his head peeking out the door, watching me. His eyes had unshed tears as his eyes met mine, and he had this look in his eyes that I hope I never have to see again. I didn't know how I was going to get out of this one, but I still couldn't tell him about my dad.

It was still hard for _me_ to believe. It's not that I don't trust him, I trust him more than anyone in the world. But I couldn't tell him that my own father _hits_ me.

Hell, Eli hasn't even _met _my dad.

I can't explain what it feels like, because I can't describe it. A few words came to mind, but none of them even came close to summing it up. There were literally no words to describe the sick feeling in my stomach whenever I saw my dad. Because I couldn't think of one single word to justify the feeling of not being able to do _anything_ while my drunk father stood there and broke me.

Eli had been watching me the whole time, I realized that now. I knew that he had seen the result of the physical pain of what my dad did to me, but he could never understand the emotional pain. It was even worse than the physical agony. He didn't know that I feared what lies within my own house, my own walls, my own _family._

He had no idea that he was one of the only things keeping me standing. I went up another step as he watched me intently with that same expression, and I put the pain aside as I tried to walk up the stairs normally. When I reached the top, I blew out a breath that I didn't know I'd been holding.

I walked over to Eli's door, and he watched as I walked past him and into his room. There were labeled cardboard boxes and plastic bins all around his room. A majority of them said '_Julia_', but some of them had labels like '_Mom_', '_Dad_', and then there was another name that caught my eye. I had been in Eli's room a lot, but I had never seen it. There, on a cardboard box in the far right corner of his room, was the name '_Clare_' written in Eli's scratchy handwriting. There were papers in there that were covered in Eli's handwriting, and they had my red loopy script on the side margins. There were lots of other things in there, including the old, vintage watch I had given him for his birthday. I stepped over piles as I made my way over to his bed and gingerly sat down on his black-sheeted bed. Eli was still leaning on his doorframe, watching me as I surveyed his room. I wish he would stop staring at me.

"I'm sorry I ran away from you today at the park." I said softly, first looking at his light brown carpeted floor, but then I flicked my eyes up to look at him. He was walking towards me, and he took a seat next to me on the bed. He laid back, and I did the same. And as I stared up at the white, swoopy swirls on his ceiling, he said the last thing I expected him to say.

"I should be the one saying sorry." He told me, turning his head to face me. I turned to face him as well, and my heart stuttered as I soaked in our close proximity. "But, is that what you came here for?" He asked, looking into my eyes as I felt a tear form on the corner of my eye. I quickly blinked it away as I shook my head. I took a deep breath, and began to tell him my lie.

"I went to go see my mom today after I left the park. I stayed there for hours, and when I got home, my dad asked where I'd been… But I couldn't tell him." I held back another tear as my lies began. "He screamed at me and told me to get out, and I did. So I came here." I finished. I watched to see if he Eli believed me, but he just had a bitter smile on his face as he shook his head.

"You're a terrible liar, Clare." He muttered quietly. I didn't say anything as the tears rolled down the sides of my face as I turned my head again to look at the ceiling.

He knew I was lying, but I couldn't tell him the truth.

"How come I've never met your dad, or even been to your house?" He said, breaking the silence and keeping his head still. I didn't know how to answer, so I didn't. I quickly changed the subject as I wiped my half-dried tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Is it okay with you and your parents if I sleep over? I really don't want to go back there again." I asked him, trying not to sound like I was pushing him to let me sleep over. I felt a little bit better that a didn't have to lie to him; I really _didn't_ want to go back to that house. He didn't even hesitate as he answered.

"You don't even have to ask. You're always welcome." He said, sitting up as he reached up to wipe a straggling tear from the side of my cheek. "I'm just gonna' go tell my parents you're staying. I'll be right back." He said softly, patting my knee as he got up. Eli took one last look at me before he disappeared behind the doorframe. After he was gone, I realized something that terrified me.

_Eli knows._

**End of Chapter 4. **

**I'm pretty proud of this chapter, even if it was a tad bit shorter than the others. Did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Put your opinion of this chapter in a review. Pretty pleeease, with cherries on top? I would love you forever. **

**-Macy**


	5. Vulnerable

**Hey Guys, here's chapter 5. **

**IS ANYONE ELSE EXCITED FOR _DEGRASSI: NOW OR NEVER? 'CAUSE I'M FREAKING PSYCHED. 3 DAYS! WOOO!_**

**Thanks for all of the awesome reviews on the last chapter, I loved them. Haha. So yeahh, here it iss!**

***Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of it's characters. But I can dream, rightt?**

After he was gone, I realized something that terrified me.

_Eli knows._

And as the cold fear nestled itself into my brain, I knew that I still couldn't tell him.

Telling him would make it real. Final. _Reality._

I winced and squeezed my eyes shut as I rolled over and faced the band poster covered wall, hugging myself with my arms. I let my tears fall as I laid there, feeling vulnerable and scared of what was going to happen next. I sniffled, and then I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. The tears flowed faster and I cowered against the wall as I had a flashback of my intoxicated father clomping up the stairs a few hours ago as I waited in my room for him to come and hit me. My body shook as I had that same feeling in my brain: the anticipation, the feeling of being chased, the panic, and the wishing for all of it to go away. I held my breath as I waited for my dad to come through the door and hurt me.

"Clare?" I heard a male voice say, and I wanted to sink into the dark sheets of the bed as I heard the door slam, and then feet rushing towards me. "Clare?" The voice asked again, except this time there was more panic in his tone. I felt movement on the bed as they crawled over to me, and I cried harder and clenched my eyes shut as I curled up further to the wall. The ripping agony in my stomach came back, but I barely even thought anything of it; the fear that filled my mind overrode it.

"_Please don't hit me, please don't hit me…" _I whispered over and over again, and I flinched as a hand softly laid down on my shoulder. I felt him curl up to my body that was huddled against the wall, and that's when they spoke.

"Clare, it's me, Eli." He said softly, wrapping his arms around me as his body pressed against my back. "I'm not going to hurt you. _I never will._" He whispered, his mouth close to my ear as he hugged me from behind. My heart was still beating painfully fast as I realized that those steps coming up the stairs were Eli's, not my dad's. The tears dripped down my cheeks as I flipped my body from the wall and hugged him. "Shhh, shh, it'll be okay, Clare. You're okay. Shhh, don't cry anymore, it'll be okay. I'm here." He told me over and over as I buried my face in his neck as my tears fell.

He was right. Everything would always be okay, as long as he was here with me.

I felt something drip on my cheek, and I realized that Eli was crying, too. We stayed like that for a long time, just crying together while he held me. The whole time, I had this warm feeling in my chest, and I hadn't been able to figure out what it was.

But as we continued to hold each other, I knew that that warm feeling in my chest, was love. I was in love with the amazing boy in my arms. I lifted my head to look at him, and he was already looking down at me. Eli leaned down and planted a loving kiss on my forehead, and I closed my eyes at the feeling. I felt like I was flying, and that nobody could knock me down from the clouds I was soaring in. I looked into his eyes, and everything he held in them was laid out for me to see. There were many different emotions, but the two most prominent ones were worry and love. I smiled as I saw his signature smirk turn into a beaming smile as he looked down at me with his gorgeous green eyes.

I wanted to stay in his arms forever, because he made me feel like I have never felt before. He made me feel safe, like no one would ever lay a hand on me as long as he was around. He made me feel happy, so happy that my mind couldn't keep up with the lovely bubbly feeling in my brain. A lot of others came to mind, but none of them compared to this last one.

He made me feel _loved_. He gave me this warm, glowing feeling in my chest, and I hoped it never stopped. I haven't felt loved since my mom died, and everything crumbled. I haven't felt that even for one second, my father loved me. But this bubbly feeling in my stomach made me not care anymore. Because only one thing mattered at the moment.

I was in love with Elijah Thomas Goldsworthy. My hearse driving, sweet, funny, scarred, sarcastic, witty, cocky, smart, scared, and lovable best friend. For once, I felt a happy tear leave the corner of my eyes as I looked up at the boy that I fell for.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, unwrapping his arm from around me to wipe my tear from my eye. I flashed him a huge smile as I nodded.

"More than okay." I told him, and I couldn't stop looking at his face. He had his lips curled up on one side into his signature smirk, and he was looking from my eyes to his black comforter we were laying on. I had a small smile on my face as I watched him do this, and he was so cute. I heard Eli's bedroom door open, and I looked to the sound. Bullfrog was standing there smiling his goofy smile at us, and I quickly unwrapped my arms from Eli, and tried not to wince as I sat up.

"I just was coming up here to tell you guys that Cece and I are going to bed now, so you guys can have the TV downstairs in the family room and watch a movie or something. But if you guys are busy…" He said, trailing off. I felt the bed move as Eli sat up. I blushed as I watched Bullfrog look at Eli and smirk at him.

Well, I knew where Eli got his smirk from.

Eli's dad raised an eyebrow, and Eli shook his head while smiling in disbelief as he looked down at his hands.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Eli asked me, looking at me with a hesitant expression.

"Sure." I said quietly, looking at him and then down at my hands as a small smile crept onto my face. I looked up at Bullfrog, and he was just looking from his son to me, laughing and shaking his head.

"Have fun, you two." He said, laughing and was halfway out the door when he popped his head back in. "Keep it PG." He muttered quietly, directing his eyes towards Eli. Eli shot him a look, and Bullfrog just chuckled as he closed the bedroom door. As soon as he was gone, I giggled and then made a face as a twinge of pain shot through my stomach. Eli didn't see, he had his face buried in his hands as his body shook while he laughed. He took his face out of his hands, and turned to me while taking a deep breath and blowing it out.

"Well, let's go, I guess." He muttered quietly with a chuckle, getting up off his bed and putting his arms up to stretch.

"Yeah." I said with another small giggle. I got a glimpse of his stomach as he stretched, and my heart skipped a beat. He put his arms down, and looked at me expectantly as he stood there. I sighed and started to get up, and cringed as the ripping feeling in my stomach returned. I scooted on my butt again as I tried to get closer to the edge of the bed, but it hurt just as much. Eli rushed over to me, and put his hand on my back. I grimaced as the familiar burning ache seeped through my shoulders and upper back. He looked me in the eyes as concern and a flash of anger appeared in his eyes, and he put his other hand on the underside of my knees as he lifted me up off the bed bridal-style.

"Eli, put me down, you don't have t-" I started to say, but he interrupted me with a shining smile that made my cheeks warm up and my heart stutter.

He was so sweet.

He carried me to the door, and flipped off the light switch in his room as we stepped out into the hallway. He looked down at me and offered a tiny smile as he made his way down the first few steps. I smiled back up at him, and nuzzled closer to his chest as he carried me into his living room. He opened the door to his basement, and went down more stairs. He turned a corner, and he tried not to hit my shoes on the wall. He walked over to his vintage brown leather couch, and I beamed up at him as he set me down.

"Thanks." I murmured quietly.

"No problem." He said, nodding and flashing me his signature smirk as he went to go turn the light off, and turn on a small table lamp on a side-table next to the couch. The small lamp flicked on, and he went over to the large TV and opened a cabinet next to it that contained countless movies and DVD's.

"What kind of movie do you want to watch?" He asked, turning to me and looking at me expectantly with an eyebrow raised. I pursed my lips as I looked at the many movie titles, but a black case with masking tape on the side caught my eye. There, in Cece's loopy handwriting, were the words '_Eli's First Swimming Lesson_'. I laughed at he name, and then winced as my stomach moved. I looked over to Eli, and he had a worried expression on his face as he watched me.

"How about… _Eli's First Swimming Lesson._" I said playfully, laughing again lightly. He made a face, which just made me laugh harder. I lightly gripped my stomach and tried to keep a straight face as I waited for the pain in my stomach to pass.

"Haha, very funny." He muttered sarcastically, making the face again, making me giggle. "Pick another one." He said, turning back to the cabinet.

"But I want to watch _that_ one." I said, pointing to it. He shook his head, taking out another movie and holding it up for me to see.

"How about this one?" Eli asked me, motioning to it over-enthusiastically.

I shook my head. "Please, Eli?" I asked him, jutting out my bottom lip and giving him puppy eyes. I could see him contemplating with himself in his head, wondering whether or not to show me his childhood movie.

"No." He said, looking back to the rest of the movies.

"Please?" I asked him, jutting out my bottom lip again.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please, Eli?"

"No, Clare."

"Pretty please?" I said quietly again, giving him puppy dog eyes again.

"Clare…" He said, with a pained look on his face.

"Eli." I muttered, mocking his voice. I could see him arguing with himself again, and he closed his eyes as he came to a clear, final decision.

"… Fine." He said softly, giving a long, exasperated sigh. I felt smug as I watched him take the black VHS tape out of the box-case and put it in the VHS player. He clicked the gray '_On_' button on the TV, it clicked on, and then he clicked '_Play_' on the VHS player. Eli snatched the remote from the top of the TV, and walked over to me with a smirk. I delicately moved over to the end of the couch, and he gently sat down next to me. The screen was all fuzzy, and then I heard Cece's voice coming from the TV. I watched the screen with a smile as a younger Cece turned the video camera towards herself.

"_My baby boy is taking his first swim lessons!" _She exclaimed toward the camera. Eli shook his head in embarrassment, and I giggled. He reached around me to turn the small table lamp off, but he didn't remove his arm around my shoulders. It hurt a little, but I didn't care. I felt my body warm up as his arm rested on my shoulders, and I looked up at Eli and he was smirking down at me. I flashed him a small smile as I rested my head on his chest and continued to watch the home movie on the screen.

A smile crept up onto my face as I saw a smaller, little Eli on the screen. He had dark brown hair that was slicked back from the water, bright blue water wings on his arms, and he was wearing green swim trunks with alligators on them. I watched as he got into the water, and tried to paddle his way over to the swim instructor. He flailed around in the water, and I heard Cece say _"Oh!"_ as his head went underwater. He started coughing and sputtering for air as his swim instructor came over and helped him doggy-paddle over to the other side of the pool. His legs kicked up out of the water as his swim coach held him up, and I felt a feeling of sweetness overcome me as I watched a six year old Eli on the screen.

"Aww." I said quietly, smiling as I watched him doggy-paddle around with his coach. I raised my head to look at Eli, and his face was a rosy shade of red. I laughed at his embarrassment, and I turned back to the screen and scrunched up my face as my stomach throbbed.

I watched the screen intently as Eli's swim instructor let go of him, and Eli started to swim all by himself. The instructor smiled at the camera, and little Eli smiled hugely as he yelled over to Cece.

"_Mom, Mommy! Look, I'm doin' it! I'm swimming!" _He screamed to the camera. I beamed as I heard his cute little voice, and I was smiling so hugely my cheeks hurt. I watched Eli splash around in the swimming pool, and I heard the instructor bellow out a loud laugh as Eli splashed water everywhere. I heard Cece's giggle erupt out of the speakers of the TV, and I felt Eli's body shake as he laughed. I snuggled closer to his chest, and his other hand started to play with my auburn curly hair. We watched the rest of the clip, and after twenty more minutes, the screen went fuzzy. Then, the scene changed and the camera was suddenly in a car.

"_We're driving to Rock-a-Palooza!" _I heard Bullfrog yell, and then laughed his throaty chuckle. There was music in the background, and I listened as the volume of the guitar and vocals rose and it flooded out the speakers of the TV. I watched as Bullfrog put up a _rock on_ hand signal with his hand, and then started moving it as he head-banged to the rock music in the car. Cece giggled, and then changed the direction of the camera to Eli in the backseat. He was copying what Bullfrog was doing, and his brown hair was bobbing up and down as he head-banged just like his dad. My smile came back as I watched a little older Eli dance in his seat.

"Wow. Why am I _not_ surprised?" I asked Eli, laughing and looking up at him. He threw his head back and sighed while he was laughing.

"See, this is the reason why I _didn't _want to show you the video." He said, chuckling with a light red tint on his cheeks.

"But you _did._" I said playfully, poking his chest while I giggled. I must have laughed too hard, because my ribs started aching and my stomach felt like it was being ripped open. I grimaced as I held my torso, waiting for the ripping agony to go away. After it had passed, I looked up to Eli and that look of concern and a flash of anger appeared on his face again.

"Clare, mayb-" He started to say, but I cut him off.

"No." I said sternly, with an unshed tear in my eye as I glanced back to the TV screen. I heard Eli sigh, and I felt him move a little bit as he turned his head to look at the screen. I wiped the tear as it started to overflow out of my eye, and watched a younger Eli with a brown-haired girl. I expected it to be his cousin or a best friend, but I was curious so I asked him who it was. Before I even said anything, I felt him tense up. I suddenly knew who it was.

_Julia._ I quickly picked up the remote, and pressed stop. The screen turned blue, and I watched as the soft waves washed across the screen. I looked at Eli, and his eyes were solid. He was looking down at the coffee table, with a few unshed tears in his eyes as I felt his muscles relax as she disappeared from the screen. I didn't say anything.

I didn't need to.

So I wrapped my arms around him, and at first he didn't respond. But after a few seconds, I felt him wrap his other arm around me lightly. He buried his face in my neck as he calmed down, and soon we let go of each other. We looked at each other after we let go, and before I knew what was happening, I started leaning towards him. Eli leaned closer, too, and pretty soon our lips were centimeters apart. We both stopped leaning, and we both looked at each other at the same time. His eyes were so pretty from this close up, even if they were teary. I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to his.

Right in the middle of the kiss, the TV made a loud buzzing noise, causing us both to jump. Eli quickly fumbled to grab the remote, and turned the TV totally off and the screen went black. Meanwhile, I was trying to keep my happiness on the down-low. My stomach had butterflies, and all I could think about was his lips on mine. He looked back to me with his famous smirk on his face, and relaxed onto the couch. I scooted over towards him and rested my head on his chest, and listened to the repetitive beating of his heart. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders delicately, and I smiled as I realized that this moment was perfect.

"_I like this." _I whispered softly, nestling my head into his chest. My eyelids started to droop shut slightly, and I yawned as I remembered that I had had a long day.

"_Me too, Clare." _He whispered back, stroking my cinnamon curls as my eyelids fell closed. I started to nod off to the movement of his chest rising up and down.

"_This would be perfect if you'd tell me the truth." _I heard him whisper softly.

And as I drifted off into dreamland, the last thing I felt was him sweetly press his lips to my forehead.

**End of Chapter 5.**

**So, did you like? Love? Hate? Review and tell me what you think! I just had to put Bullfrog in there somewhere, he always has smart comments, and I love him, haha. Hopefully the next chapter will be up sometime this weekendd! **


	6. You Have Me

**Hey Guys, so I _had_ to post this chapter before the premiere of the new season of Degrassi on Monday. Gahh, I can't waaiit! So yeahh, here it iss! **

***Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Degrassi or any of it's characters. But, I can dream, rightt? **

And as I drifted off into dreamland, the last thing I felt was him sweetly press his lips to my forehead.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"_So, honey, how's your friend Eli?" My mom said, drinking her coffee and then wiggling her eyebrows and laughing. _

_I giggled. "He's good." I said, watching my coffee twirl around in my cup as I spun it with the purple plastic spoon. "I kissed him yesterday." I told her quietly, blushing as I took a sip of my coffee as we sat at a table outside The Dot. My mom almost spit out her coffee, and took her napkin to wipe the bit that was dribbling down her chin. _

"_What?" She said excitedly, wondering if she heard me correctly. She lifted an eyebrow, and I smiled as I nodded. "So… how was it?" She asked, looking at me expectantly. Now it was my turn to almost spit out my coffee. _

"_Mom!" I exclaimed, picking up my napkin to wipe my mouth. _

"_I'm your mother! Who cares?" She laughed, because she didn't think she did anything wrong by asking how the kiss was. I just giggled. _

"_I do! And… it was nice." I told her with a small smile, stirring my coffee again. "Except right during the middle of it, his TV made this really big static sound. Which, kind of broke it off…" I said. I looked over across the table at my mom, and she was trying to hold in her laughs. But she was failing._

"_That's so… cute!" She said loudly, holding her stomach as she laughed. Hearing my mom's laugh was something I hadn't done in a long time. It sounded like bells, and it made me smile. "You're growing up so fast." She whispered. She touched my hand as she was done laughing. "Have you told Eli about your father, yet?" She asked, her face now serious. I shook my head, my smile fading. _

"_I think he knows, though. I just haven't actually told him, yet." I said to my mom, staring at my hands. _

"_You don't have to tell him now. Tell him when you're ready." She told me, taking her hand away to clasp it with her other one. I nodded._

"_I will, mom." I told her with a smile. She smiled back, and then checked her watch. Her face showed alarm as she looked over at me._

"_Clare-Bear, I've gotta' go back now." She said, picking up her purse from the ground and setting in on the round table in front of us. My smile faltered as I heard this._

"_Okay. Bye, Mom, I'll miss you." I said, putting on a smile for her as she stood up. She walked over to me and gave me a hug._

"_I'll miss you, too, honey. I love you, so much." She said, pressing her lips to my forehead as she pulled away from the hug. "If you ever need to talk again, you know where to find me." She whispered quietly as she started to walk away. A tear ran down my face, and she turned around and waved to me as I said a quiet goodbye. The tears fell more freely as she walked across the street, hitching her purse up on her shoulder. I watched my mom walk away, and she got fainter and fainter until she disappeared. Another tear fell as I heard someone calling my name. _

"_Clare!" A voice said, sounding panicked. "Clare, are you okay? Clare!" _

"Clare, wake up!" Eli said, shaking me a little bit as my eyes fluttered open. His hands were on my shoulders, shaking me slightly as I woke up. "You were talking in your sleep." He told me, looking at me with a worried expression. I looked at the clock, and it read 3:48. My cheeks were wet, and I reached up with my hand and realized they were tears.

That's when I remembered my dream. The conversation with my mom, her laugh, the sudden goodbye, the tears, _everything_. I shook his hands off of my shoulders, and scooted a few inches away from him as I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged myself. It hurt, but I didn't care, it made me feel more put together. I sniffled as a few tears ran down my face, and Eli scooted closer to me. I stiffened as he touched my hand just like my mom did, and I quickly retracted from under his hand. "Clare? What's wrong?" He said, sounding panicked. I shook my head, and I watched as a tear dripped off of my chin and onto my knee, rolling off my bare skin. "You can tell me anything. You know that, right?" He asked, putting his index finger under my chin to make me look at him.

"Yes." I muttered quietly, looking him in the eye. I gulped as I began to tell him about my dream. "I was talking to my mom." I told him under my breath, and then fiddling with my hands as more tears fell as I thought about it again. "I heard her laugh, and I haven't heard it since she… since she died. I miss her." He hugged me, and said something softly in my ear.

"It'll be okay, it was just a dream." He whispered, and then pulled away as he put his hand on my knee as he talked.

"What were you talking about?" He asked softly, trying to help me calm down. What was I supposed to say? That I was talking to her about _kissing him?_

"I d-don't remember." I lied, not looking at him. He sighed, and then I heard him chuckle quietly.

"You are _such_ a bad liar." He said, smirking at me. "What were you really talking about?" Eli asked again, waiting for a truthful answer. I gulped audibly.

"_You."_ I whispered softly enough so he could hear. I risked a glance at him, and he looked smug.

"What about me?" He asked, with a smirk on his face. I blushed, because I _really_ didn't want to tell him. I shook my head at him. He put on a thinking face, which was pretty adorable. "Do you want me to guess?" Eli asked, with an expectant face. I nodded; it would be easier to come out with it if he just guessed.

"Umm… my good looks?" He guessed, with a huge smirk. I smiled at his cockiness and shook my head.

"My amazing writing skills?" He asked, and I shook my head again.

"Eli, it's nothing like that. It's something that… _happened._" He gulped.

"… Julia?" He guessed, with a pained look on his face, and I shook my head. The pained look left his face, and was replaced with the adorable thinking face. His eyes had a look I couldn't explain as he thought of another guess.

"W-was it the… the kiss?" He asked, looking down at the couch and coughing softly.

"… Yes." I squeaked out, blushing ten shades of red.

"Oh." He coughed again, playing with his hands. "What did you tell her about it?" Eli asked quietly, still looking at the couch. I took a deep breath, and blew it out slowly.

"When I told her, she asked how it was." I smiled as I remembered. "Then, I told her it was nice." I finished, looking at him to judge his reaction. He had a smirk as he looked deep in thought. His smirk faltered, and I was curious as to what he was thinking about. "Eli?" I questioned.

"Do you regret it?" He asked, looking at me in the eye, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss him again. I smiled in disbelief at his question, and he pinned his eyebrows together confusedly. I shook my head.

"I don't regret it for one second." I told him with a small smile. "But, if I could re-do it, I would probably turn the TV off so it wouldn't have interrupted it." I said with a dark pink hue to my cheeks.

"Good, because I don't either. And, I would've done the same thing." He said with a smirk, and then I heard him curse technology under his breath. I giggled, and he looked at me. Icy blue met jade green, and then Eli said something that made my stomach get butterflies.

"Do you… want to try again?" Eli asked, smirking again. I smiled as I leaned forward, and then he got closer and started to lean, too. We were so close to kissing again, but right as our lips almost touched, I turned my head and kissed his cheek. I giggled as I sat back to watch his reaction, and he opened his eyes and glared at me. "That doesn't count." He said, lunging towards me and putting his hands on either side of my head as he hovered over me. He smirked and attacked my lips with his. I smiled into the kiss as Eli pressed his lips on mine, and my stomach did back-flips as his tongue poked my lips. I opened my mouth to let him in, and his tongue went past my lips and wrestled with mine. We both pulled away for air, and Eli stayed above me as he breathed quickly and deeply, smiling down at me.

"That was better." I breathed, looking up into his sparkling green eyes, trying to catch my breath. My heart was beating quickly, and I was worried he would hear it. He chuckled.

"Well, the TV was off this time." He said, his smile beaming. I leaned up and pecked him on the lips, and then relaxed back onto the couch. He was still hovering over me, and he looked so happy, it made me smile myself. "So… what does this mean?" He asked hesitantly, pointing between us as he moved to stop hanging over me. He sat normally on the couch, and all I wanted to do was bring him back over to me.

"What… you mean, like… are we… dating?" I asked him, just as he looked up as I said the words. He nodded, and I smiled. "Do you want to be?" I questioned him, and silently prayed that he would say yes.

"Well… _yeah._." He said softly, looking down at the couch and then back at me. "Do _you?_" He asked, looking hopeful as his smirk twitched as he waited for my answer.

"Yes." I answered, my cheeks growing a rosy shade of red.

He chuckled. "Well… then why don't we go see a movie after school tomorrow?" Eli said, with a happy expression. I nodded, smiling at him.

"I'd love to." I said, watching as he held his hand out on his knee. I grinned and grabbed it, leaning my head on his shoulder as we sat there in the half-dark room.

"I can't wait, _girlfriend._" He said adorably, and then moved his head down to look at me. I tilted my head back and leaned up to kiss his lips for a few seconds, and then pulled away. I heard him sigh happily as my head returned to his shoulder. My heart felt like it was glowing, and I felt like I was on cloud nine.

He was finally _mine._ He wrapped his arm around me, and put his hand on my side to bring me closer to him. I whimpered and moved his hand, and replaced it with my own as I tried to withstand the feeling of sharp claws trying to rip through my skin, and for a moment I forgot I was next to Eli. After the pain dimmed to a dull stinging, I looked up at him. His face was a mix of anger and concern as he looked down at my stomach, and I felt like throwing up as I knew that I had to explain.

I knew that I had to tell him that the only family _I had left _abused me.

I was amazed as I thought of how happy I was only a few seconds ago, and how this conversation was taking a totally different turn.

"Clare…" He said quietly, tucking a piece of cinnamon hair behind my ear. "Like I said before, you can tell me anything." He said softly, cupping my cheek with his palm. I watched as a tear clouded my vision, and dripped over the edge of my eye and trickled down my face. Eli wiped it away with his thumb, and I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. But, a hundred questions were running through my head, making it impossible._ Will he me differently if I tell him? Will he make me show him the bruises? Will he be mad? Will he do something drastic? _I gulped as I thought of one last question.

_Will he still like me?_

I blew out a shaky breath as I spoke to him. "I trust you… more than anybody else." I told him, and then swallowed loudly as I felt my hands shaking. I felt him squeeze my hand, and it gave me the courage to continue. "When my mom… when she died, my dad was crushed. He started drinking to ease the pain, and Darcy left when he started to become an alcoholic. She left me here, and whenever my dad was drunk, he was always angry." I closed my eyes tightly as I said the words that have never been spoken out loud. "And… when he's angry, he… _he hits me_." I said as a tear streaked down my face, whispering the last part of the sentence. He didn't say anything, but I heard him suck in a breath.

"_I'm sorry."_ I heard him whisper. I opened my eyes, and he had a look on his face that I couldn't explain. It was a mix of compassion, tenderness, and sympathy. But there was also a hint of another fiery look in his eyes, which I could only describe as anger. He squeezed my hand again as another tear left my eye as I thought of all the times my dad laid a hand on me. Eli wiped another tear from my cheek with his thumb, and wrapped his arms around my back as he hugged me. I let go and sat back, wrapping my arms around myself as I let more tears fall. He crossed his arms as he looked straight ahead, looking at the wall above the TV. "Can we finish our game of Twenty Questions?" Eli asked softly, looking at me as he waited for my answer. I nodded, and looked down at the cream-colored carpet of his family room.

"How long has it been going on?" He asked, continuing our game.

I sniffled lightly before I spoke. "Since before I met you." I watched his jaw clench as he listened to my answer.

"How often does he… hit you?" He asked, staring down at the coffee table as his hands were squeezed into fists.

"I haven't seen him sober in a long time." I said, looking down at my hands, fighting back tears.

"So, a lot?" He questioned, through clenched teeth.

"If I set him off." I told him.

"What do you do to set him off?" He asked, his face a soft shade of red as anger coursed through his mind. I thought about my answer, because sometimes I don't do anything to provoke his rage.

"If I'm not there when he comes home." I answered quietly, playing with the cuff of the long-sleeved grey shirt that I still had on from yesterday.

"So he _hits you_ because of _that?_" He asked, appalled at the thing that angers my dad the most. I nodded, and continued.

"He doesn't just hit me." I said quietly, my throat tightening as I thought of multiple other things he did to me.

Eli just stared at me. "What other things does he do?" He asked softly, trying to keep calm. I gulped as my mind went back to picturing all of the other things my dad does when he's drunk, and my throat tightened even more.

"He pulled me down the stairs by my hair." I said under my breath, and I felt like my whole life was being revealed as I told him everything. "He slams me into walls." I said, rubbing my shoulders lightly as if to emphasize the statement. "He burns me." I murmured, glancing down at the wavy scar on my calf from the time when my dad picked me up and burned me on the stove. I gulped as I remembered the one thing he does that I hate the most. _"And… he kicks me, really, really hard." _I whispered, flashing back to a few days ago when he kicked me in the stomach so many times, I passed out. I flinched as I felt my stomach twitch at the memory.

"Where does he kick you?" He asked softly, with an unshed tear in his eye as I looked over at him. I rested my hand on my stomach and on my hip, as the tear I had been holding back for a long time streaked down my cheek and dripped off of my chin and onto my jean shorts. As I rested my hands there, I silently showed him the general area where my father had kicked me so many times before.

"C-can… can I see?" He asked, his jaw clenched so much that a tiny vain under his jaw was popping out and leaving a wavy line on his neck. I didn't want to show him the physical bruises I had, I knew it would make him beside himself to see them. It even made _me_ sick to my stomach when I looked at the discolorations on my skin.

"Eli…" I murmured, shaking my head as I denied him.

"Please." He said softly, looking at the wall again as a tear fell from his eye. I gulped as I knew I might regret this, and I winced as I leaned behind me and turned on the small table lamb. I cringed as I got up off of the leather couch, and stood up next to the side-table. I sighed sadly as I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and lifted it up until it was a few inches below my breasts. I closed my eyes as I heard him suck in a breath.

I opened them and looked at the wall as I let him see what I have to face every day. I felt exposed, like every secret I've ever kept was out in the open for everyone to see. I also felt strange letting him see something that I've been hiding for almost _two years._ I put my shirt back down, and risked a glance at him. A vein in his forehead and neck were bulging out, his eyes were clenched shut, and he was gripping the edge of the couch so tightly that his knuckles were a sickly white color. I gulped as I knew this would happen, and I stood there as my eyes started to get teary. I didn't know what to do next, and I was afraid of doing anything.

"_E-Eli?" _I said softly, gently tracing invisible lines on my palm with my finger. He stood up abruptly, and his hands were clenched into such tight fists that his knuckles were white again. I stepped back and a tear fell as he yelled at me.

"HOW COULD YOU LET HIM DO THIS TO YOU FOR SO LONG?" Eli yelled at me. I stepped back a few more steps as Eli's eyes weren't the warm shade of green they usually were, they were a dark green that made me freeze where I stood.

He was fuming, and I had a flashback as I remembered my father standing in the same stance, with his fists clenched the exact same way. Eli's face turned into my father's, and I stepped back a few more steps as cold fear made itself present in my mind.

"NO!" I screamed in fear, turning around to try to quickly limp away from the one thing I feared most. As I bolted for the stairs, my stomach twisted in pain, but I didn't care.

All I cared about was running from the drunk monster that was going to hit me again.

Once I reached the stairs, I heard footsteps coming after me, and that just made me run faster. I went up the first few steps, with tears streaming down my face as my stomach felt like it was being ripped in half. As I ran up a few more, I stumbled and fell onto my arm. I tried to get myself up, but as I was propping myself up on my elbow, I felt hands pin me down by my shoulders.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I yelled as they held me down, I was trashing around trying to get free and my heart was beating so fast in my chest that I thought it was going to explode. I heard him saying my name, but I couldn't concentrate enough to focus on it as my shoulders roughly hit the steps on the stairs, and I yelped as searing pain ran through my body. They let go of me, and I laid there and cowered against the stairs. _"Please don't hit me, please don't hit me…"_ I repeated over and over, curling up against the wall in the stairwell. Just yesterday, I had been chanting the same thing.

"Clare, are you okay? Clare? It's me, Eli! It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm sorry for getting mad and scaring you. Clare, are you okay? Clare! Clare?" I heard the voice say, and as I opened my eyes, I realized that the voice belonged to Eli and not my dad. I tried to stop shaking as I looked over my shoulder at my boyfriend. He no longer had the look of anger in his eyes, and as tears dripped from them, he just looked scared and full of remorse. I uncurled myself as I calmed down, and I felt warm hands pick me up from in front of the wall and carry me down the stairs. I cried as I leaned into his chest, and he sat down on the vintage brown leather couch as he took me into his arms and hugged me. _"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" _He kept repeating as he cradled me like a baby in his arms, and I wiped his tears away with my thumb as I looked up at him, and noticed he was shaking. I leaned up and pressed my lips to his, and his body relaxed and he stopped shaking. He looked into my eyes for a moment, and then he was the same Eli he had always been.

"Clare, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" He asked, looking worried as he caressed my cheek with his rough palm. I nodded as more tears fell from the corners of my eyes, and now it was his turn to wipe them away.

"I'm fine, now." I told him, hugging him after I pressed a soft kiss on his cheek to help calm him down more.

"Clare, I'm sorry, I promise that won't _ever_ happen again." He said, rubbing my cheek with his thumb as he talked. "But… you need to tell someone about your dad." I tensed up as the words left his mouth, and I quickly shook my head. "Clare, you have to. You can't let him keep doing this to you." He said sadly, gesturing to my stomach. The tears clouded my eyes as what he had said registered in my mind.

"E-Eli, I can't. _He's all I have left." _I said softly, watching as my stomach painfully rose up and down as I breathed in shakily. He kissed me on the lips for a second, and then pulled away and took my head in his hands to make me look at him.

"_You have me." _He whispered.

**End of Chapter 6.**

**So did you like it? Love it? Hate it? Oh, who am I kidding? It's one in the morning, I'm tired, and it's probably poorly put together. BUT WHO CARES!**

**Review Pleeeaase?**

**Oh, and I was thinking about doing a one-shot about, the one and only, Adam Torres (I LOVE HIM). Tell me what you thinkk! **

**-Love, a tired and sleepy Macy Jeannn.**


	7. Please Wake Up

**Hey guys. I'm sorry I didn't update sooner, I had some killer writer's block for the first few days, and then I was super busy the rest of the week. Again, i'm sorry, but I hope this longer chapter makes up for itt? (: So yeah, here it is, enjoooy. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of it's characters. (But, technically, I do own Eli, because he stole my heart. ) **

"_You have me." _He whispered, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. I put my palm to his cheek, and gave him a small smile.

"I know." I said softly, leaning up to press a chaste kiss on his lips for a second, and then pulled away. He smirked, but it soon faltered as he continued.

"You can't keep letting him hurt you." He said quietly, and I knew that Eli was telling the truth. I didn't want to keep being afraid to walk in my own house, I didn't want to fear my own dad. But he was the _only_ family I had left. What was I supposed to do?

"_I don't want to be afraid anymore."_ I whispered, looking up at him. _"But he's the only family I have left. What am I supposed to do?" _I said under my breath, and he closed his eyes lightly.

"Clare, I know you don't want to." He said, looking down at me with sad eyes. "But you need to tell someone what you told me, before it happens again." He murmured softly, caressing my face with his palm.

I loved my dad. My happy, loving, funny, and sober dad. _Where did he go?_ Instead, he was replaced by this cold, heartless, and abusive drunk mess. He turned into a monster; who hit his family, partied all the time, went to bars every night, and was hardly ever home.

I miss my old dad. The one who would crack jokes, who would tuck me into bed every night, who would kiss me on the forehead and say _'I love you'_, who would come home from work every night and sit with his family, who would only drink wine at church events and sometimes at dinner. _The one who loved me._

"I just want my old dad back." I said softly, with a tear in my eye. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"I know you do. But you can't keep letting him hurt you. It's gone on for almost _two years_, Clare. It needs to end before it's get worse." He said quietly, glancing down at my stomach. "You don't have to tell someone right now. You can talk whenever you're ready." He finished softly, rubbing small circles onto my palm. I nodded, and gave him a small smile that almost felt forced. I glanced at the clock, and it read 5:13. I rubbed my forehead, and I finally figured out what this strange pounding feeling in my head was.

It was the feeling of being overwhelmed, of saying too much in such a short period of time, of _giving up everything that I'd been working for almost two years to hide._

I can't fabricate well-thought-over lies to cover up all of the damage. Because he knows everything, and I can't lie to him anymore.

And that scared the shit out of me.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"You want some breakfast?" Eli asked me after my stomach growling interrupted the much-needed silence of his family room. The last time I ate was yesterday morning, and my stomach grumbled louder as I thought about food. He chuckled as he heard it.

"Sure." I said with a small smile, and Eli helped me up off of the couch. I felt a sharp pain in my shoulders as I stood up, and I held my stomach as it twisted with twinges of pain. He frowned as he saw this, and he delicately picked me up off of the ground. I looked up at him and smiled, and turned my head to kiss his chest softly. I felt his muscles tense as I did this, and I smiled a little bit as he opened the door and we stepped into his kitchen. He carried me over to the grey granite counter, and gently sat me down on it. He smirked at me as he opened the door of his fridge.

"Do you like French toast?" He asked, looking at me curiously. I laughed at the randomness of his question, and nodded.

"Yeah. My mom used to make it all the time." I said quietly with a small smile. Eli looked shocked that I spoke about my mother.

"Well… I make a pretty mean French toast…" He said, trailing off and putting his hand to his chin as he looked up to the ceiling in mock wonder. I giggled while Eli smiled as he got out eggs, milk, and bread. He set them on the counter next to me, and then made me move my feet while he got out a frying pan. He turned on the electric stove, put the pan on the burner, and turned to me. He hopped up on the counter next to me, and looked down at me with a smile on his face. My heart fluttered, because honestly, I could probably stare at him all day.

And the beaming smile made his whole face light up, and he was… well, cute. I couldn't help it; I reached out and pinched his cheek between my thumb and forefinger. I released his blushing cheek, and he smirked while he tried to look appalled at my action. He brought his hand up to his face, and he looked absolutely adorable. Giggles erupted out of me as he hopped off of the counter to put a pat of butter in the frying pan, and I listened as it sizzled. He looked at me over his shoulder with his hand still on his cheek, with the same appalled expression. I couldn't look at him anymore, my stomach twitched and twisted as the familiar ache returned whenever I laughed, and I stopped laughing abruptly. I saw Eli turn to look at me from over his shoulder, and he put the spatula down as he walked over to me. He wiggled until he was between my legs, and he put his finger under my chin to make me look at him. I redirected my eyes, because it was already hard enough not to laugh. I stared at the side of his fridge, and he turned my head, still trying to make me look at him. I watched him in my peripheral vision, and he had an amused look on his face.

"Why won't you look at me, Edwards?" He asked with the amused expression, and I would bet anyone money that my face was beet-red right now, because he was only a few inches away from my face. I gulped as I didn't answer, and I felt him staring at me as I looked down. I heard the pan sizzle loudly, and he abruptly darted over to the stove to turn the oven off. He grabbed two plates from the cupboard, and slapped a piece of French toast on each one. He grabbed maple syrup from the door of the fridge, and poured some onto each slice. He came over with the plates, and set one in my lap as he hopped up onto the counter again. He turned and sat cross-legged while he continued to stare at me.

"You know, I can do this all day." He said, propping his chin up on his fist as he stared at me and kept this up, and a minute later my resolve crumbled, and I glanced at him and quickly looked away. I could feel his smirk as he kept looking at me, and I turned the other way so my back was facing him. I cut into my French toast with a fork, and I brought the fork up to my mouth. To my surprise, the French toast was actually really good. I heard rustling behind me, and I froze as I saw Eli walk up to the wall in front of me and lean against it.

"Why won't you talk to me?" He asked, now serious. I gathered up some courage to look at him, and told him the truth.

"You keep making me laugh." I said, taking another bite of French toast as I tried to keep the smile off of my face. He looked relieved when I said that, but then he looked confused.

"And that's a _bad_ thing?" He asked with an adorable expression mixed with confusion. I shook my head.

"No… it hurts to laugh. So I'm trying not to look at you." I said quietly, peeking up at him through my hair. His fists were clenched again, and when he saw my eyes widen, he unclenched them and put on a fake smile.

"I'll try not to make you laugh anymore, okay?" He said, stuffing a large piece of food in his mouth as he looked at me.

"Okay." I said hesitantly, cutting another piece of toast with the side of my fork. I popped it into my mouth, and then watched as Eli got another huge bite of French toast. He brought it up to his mouth, and then right when he was going to eat it, he missed his mouth. There was syrup on the corner of his lips, and he looked surprised as he looked over at me to see if I had seen it.

He was too cute.

He smirked when he knew I had seen, and then brought the piece of French toast to his mouth again. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw his face full of surprise, embarrassment, and syrupy goodness. I hopped lightly off the counter with a grimace, and walked fervently over to him with a smirk of my own. I raised my finger up to wipe the syrup off his mouth, and brought it back up to mine as I licked the syrup from my finger. My eyes sparkled as I watched him lick his lips and set his plate on the counter behind me, and before I registered what was happening, his lips were on mine. Our lips moved together roughly until I pulled away abruptly, and I smirked deviously as I limped over to the counter to snatch another piece of the French toast.

"What the _fuck_… was _that?"_ He asked, in a daze as he tried to catch his breath. I giggled and winced as my stomach moved again, and I cursed lightly under my breath as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Eli was at my side in a second, rubbing my upper back lightly. I whimpered and shrugged out from under his touch as my shoulders burned, and he quickly retracted his hand. I looked up at him, and he had a flash of confusion in his eyes. The confusion turned into a type of realization, and then he spoke quietly.

"Can I see?" Eli asked softly, gesturing to my back. I nodded hesitantly as I turned around, and he looked at me questioningly, silently asking permission to pull my shirt up in back. I nodded as he pulled up at the hem of my grey shirt, and I felt him pull it up so he could see my upper back. He pulled it back down gently but quickly, and when I turned around to look at him confusedly, a vein in his forehead was bulging. His eyes were squeezed shut, and he had a slightly guilty expression on his face. I put my hand on the other side of his face and made him turn to me, and his eyes opened slowly, but didn't meet mine.

"_I'm sorry." _He whispered, looking slightly guilty.

"For what?" I asked, trying to keep the sting out of my voice as the recurring ache came back in a flash.

"_For hurting you on the stairs." _He said quietly, still not meeting my eyes. Realization ran through my mind, and then I understood.

He thought he was the one who had caused the bruises on my shoulder blades and back. But he didn't, I knew that he would never hurt me. They were from when my father had slammed me into the wall. I flinched a little at the memory, and then put my index finger under his chin to make him look at me.

"You didn't hurt me, Eli." I told him sincerely, desperate to take that expression off of his face. His green eyes finally met mine, and he looked like he didn't believe a word I had said. I gulped inaudibly before I continued. "The bruises weren't from you." I said softly, looking down as I knew what was coming. He looked away, and his jaw was clenched as he spoke.

"They're from him." Eli said through his teeth, and I nodded slowly as this sunk in. "How?" He asked, and that one syllable made me tense up. I really did not want to talk about this, but I knew I had to.

"_He, um… he… knocked me into a wall." _I said under my breath, and removed my hand from his cheek as I backed up a few steps. I prepared myself for his anger, and backed up a few more feet until I hit another counter. I watched him turn around, and he had fiery anger present in his jade eyes.

My thoughts released a signal, and I was suddenly back in my living room, watching my dad clench his fists and glare daggers at me.

I sank down more and put my arms around myself as I waited for Eli to start shouting, but he never did. When he saw me, the anger disappeared until there were only small traces visible. His expression softened as he walked slowly and cautiously over to me with his hands sprawled open in the air in front of him, silently telling me that he wouldn't lay a single finger on me. I just clenched my eyes shut and wrapped my arms around myself tighter as he came closer. I opened my eyes slowly, and glanced at him quickly and looked down. I gulped audibly, and watched his socks move slowly across the dark grey tile of his kitchen, and he stopped when he was only a few feet in front of me. I sank down more until I was huddled down on the floor, and wrapped my arms around my knees as he looked down at me with caution and worry. I snapped out of the trance, and suddenly the feeling of fear clouding my brain disappeared as Eli's face came into view. He got down on his knees, never losing eye contact with me, and sat cross-legged in front of me. I unwrapped my arms from my knees slightly as I tried my best to make my heart slow down. He took his head in his hands as his body shook in front of me, and I had no idea what to do next.

"_I'm sorry." _I heard him whisper, and I reached over to put my hand on his knee. He looked up, and he had a look of shame deep within his eyes.

"S'okay." I squeaked out quietly, and squeezed his knee briefly before I pulled my hand away.

"That'll never happen again. I promise." He said sincerely, with a look of determination in his eyes. He stuck out his pinky, and I gave him a small smile before I wrapped my pinky around his, sealing his promise with one juvenile gesture.

There we were, sitting across from each other in the far corner of his kitchen, intertwining pinkies. But I still felt this relatively new feeling in my heart as we shared this seemingly strange moment, and as we parted pinkies, I felt a blush warm my cheeks. Eli smirked as he noticed the red adorning my face, and I bit my lip as the side of his lips curled up. He swiftly got up on his feet, and held out his hand to help me up off the floor. I gladly unwrapped my arms from my knees, and took his hand as he pulled me up from the floor, my converse-clad feet making a tapping noise on the tile as I stood up straight.

I could tell that he was desperately trying to get things back to normal, so that this anxious feeling in my chest would go away and I hopefully wouldn't ever have to feel it again.

Eli pulled me back over to the counter and gently picked me up. He set me on the counter, and my legs dangled off the side as he started talking about something that I'd almost completely forgotten.

"So… we have our first date tonight." He said mischievously, smirking at me while cutting another piece of French toast and bringing it up to his lips. He chuckled before purposely missing his mouth, and pointing at the syrup on his cheek with his index finger, jutting out his bottom lip as he looked at me with hope. I laughed and shook my head, and he put his hands up in mock surrender.

"Well, you can't blame me for trying…" He said cutely, shrugging his shoulders as he walked over to the sink to grab a paper towel. He dampened it with water, and wiped the syrup off of his face with a fake disgruntled expression. I giggled, and went back to my French toast. I froze as something dawned on me.

"Don't we have school today? What time is it!" I said loudly, looking on his walls for any type of clock. Eli looked at his wrist-watch, and then glanced back at me with a uneasy expression.

"It's 6:34... And school starts at 7:20. I'll drive you home so you can shower and get changed." He said with the same uneasy look on his face. I felt my hands start shaking as I thought of going back to the house that I didn't even consider a home anymore, and swallowed as my throat started to tighten. This didn't go unnoticed by Eli, and he quickly said something that made me feel better. "I can stay parked in your driveway, if you want. And then I can drive us to school after you're ready." He said, throwing away the sticky, damp paper towel and coming over to take my hand. He rubbed small shapes on the top of my hand with his thumb, and his touch automatically made me stop shaking.

"Just let me shower quick and get dressed, and then we can go. I'll only take five minutes." He said, kissing my hand and looking at me in the eye with a smirk. I gave him a small smile and nodded, and he walked into his living room and up the stairs into his bathroom. I heard the shower start after a minute or so, and after it sunk in that Eli wasn't at my side, I started to panic.

I didn't want to go back to my house. What if my dad was there? What if he had a hangover, and drank more alcohol to make his migraine go away? Or worse.

What if he knew I had snuck out last night?

I quickly reassured myself, because I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have noticed I was even gone. He doesn't give a damn about me, he hasn't since my mom died. A sad feeling overcame me, and I didn't know why. I was used to knowing my dad didn't love me or care about me, why was this effecting me so much now? I heard the shower go off, and footsteps upstairs as I assumed Eli walked into his room. I imagined him, with a towel around his waist and no shirt, and I felt my face heat up. This glowing feeling I had noticed every single time I was around him; it was still so new to me. I forgot what it felt like to love something, and it felt like he was the sun that brightened up the spiraling darkness that had turned into my life.

Wow, that was cliché.

In every love story I've read, there was always a certain point where something around the terms of that was said. I never believed any of it, but it always gave me a little bit of hope to know that someone, somewhere, was picking up their life piece by piece. I never believed in love; it had never happened to me, and I always assumed that it was fake, non-existent, a _fairytale. _But now, I knew exactly what those books were talking about.

I could relate to the warm feeling in the pit of my stomach that the author always talked about. I shook my head from my thoughts as I heard footsteps, and then Eli walked into the kitchen. He was wearing skinny jeans, band t-shirt, guitar pick necklace, and a light grey unbuttoned sweater.

He looked tantalizing, and I couldn't keep the smile off of my face as I saw his wet hair stray in all different directions, sticking up in random places. Even for a second, I don't have to think about what might be waiting for me at my house. I reached my hand up to smooth down the random spikes of his raven hair, and he looked confused as I did this. I licked my hand, and was about to smooth his hair down more, when he grabbed my wrist.

"No way in _hell_ are you doing that." He said playfully, holding my wrist with a smirk on his face. He leaned in and planted a kiss on my lips, and he let go of my wrists as his lips pressed against mine. He pulled away, and smiled a real genuine smile. It made his whole face brighten, and I wanted more than anything to tell him how I felt.

I wanted to tell him that his laugh and his smile was like a drug to me, and it made me go weak in the knees. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, that I always have, and I just didn't know it. But I couldn't.

Not yet. I wasn't ready.

"Let's go." I said with a beaming smile, and grabbed his hand as he walked over to the staircase to grab his backpack, and then slipped on a pair of all black _Vans: Off The Wall_ sneakers. He glanced at me and smiled, and then twisted the door knob. We stepped out onto his porch, and I eyed the steps with a grimace as he locked the door. We were about to go down the steps, when I paused at the top with a wince.

This was going to hurt.

Before I could cautiously step down onto the first step, Eli put his arms under the back of my knees and on the middle of my back, and picked me up from the ground. I giggled as he picked me up, and he grinned down at me as he set my feet back down on the ground. He went around to the back of Morty to put his bag in the trunk, and then shut the doors as he opened the passenger door for me. I got in and sat on the cushioned bench gently, and then he shut the door softly and walked around to get in the driver's side. He started the hearse, and as usual, it made a low rumbling noise as it started to move away from the curb and down the street. He turned on his stereo, and loud rock music poured out from the speakers.

_**Never gonna change my mind,**_

_**We can leave it all behind.**_

_**Nothing's gonna stop us,**_

_**No, not this time.**_

_**So take your hand in mine, it's ours tonight.**_

_**This is a rebel love song.**_

_**Hearts will sacrifice, it's do or die. **_

_**This is a rebel love song.**_

Eli sung along with the lyrics, and to my surprise, his voice rang through the front of the hearse. The words flowed from his lips as his hands stayed on the steering wheel, and his voice matched the pitch and level of the lyrics flowing from the stereo. His charming singing voice calmed a fraction of my nerves, and I watched his lips as they moved along to the song. I started to sway a little bit to the music, and even if harsh screaming filled the car, it was oddly relaxing as he turned onto my street. The song ended then, and Eli looked at me as I felt my throat tighten when I saw my house. My muscles tensed as I waited for the other side of the driveway to become visible, and I felt a huge weight come off of my shoulders as I saw that my dad's car wasn't parked there. He pulled into my driveway, and I was about to get out of the car when he grabbed my wrist. I turned around to look at him.

"I'll be right here." He said, flashing me a small smile as he let go of my wrist. I returned the grin, and then took fervent steps up my front walk and put my key into the lock. My front door opened, and I took one last glance at Eli as I stepped inside my house. I squeezed out of my black converse, and walked around. The house was quiet, and when I peered into the kitchen, I saw two empty bottles of _Southern Comfort_ on the counter. One was tipped over, and it had a few small drips of clear liquid on the reddish-brown counter below the cap. I threw them in the trash can, and then surveyed the living room for anything else. There was an open copy of _Sports Illustrated_ on the coffee table, and I eyed the familiar dented ring in the coffee table from a few nights ago. I winced as I gingerly walked upstairs and into my dad's room, and I pushed the wooden door open with a light squeaking noise. I stared at his dresser, which was piled with bottles and small square papers and napkins. I walked closer, and there were a few bottles of vodka and liquor, and the papers and napkins had phone numbers on them. I assumed they were from when he went to bars and met woman, and I rolled my eyes as I walked out of the room. I strode down the hall and into my room, grabbed a towel and washcloth, and went into my bathroom. I peeled off my long-sleeved shirt and tank top, and my shorts were next. After I was down to my bra and underwear, I scanned my body. My stomach was covered with fading greenish-blue bruises, and there was a large dark purple discoloration in the midst of all the green. I flinched when I remembered my father punching me hard in the gut, and then turned around to observe my back. My shoulder blades had blue bruises on the skin, and there was a decent-sized darker one on the top of my upper back. I turned back around, and I saw a swollen half-dollar sized redish-purple bruise on my bicep, and I grimaced as I ran my finger over it gently. I felt sick as I looked at my broken-looking body, and I quickly stripped completely and stepped into the shower after I started it. At first when the hot water hit my body, it stung a little bit. But as I wetted my curly hair, it felt relaxing. I let the warm water run down my body, and then grabbed my lavender shampoo and rubbed it into my hair. I rinsed it out, and then squirted some matching conditioner into my palm and massaged it into my scalp. I washed my body, and then rinsed out the conditioner. The towel I had grabbed was sitting on a metal bar on the wall, and I reached out from the shower curtain and grabbed it. I wrapped it around myself gently, trying not to move my stomach too much, and then stepped out of the tub and onto a bath mat. I wiped the steam off of the mirror, and then took out my blow-dryer and quickly dried my hair. I didn't take out my curling iron, because my hair was naturally curly, and the curls bounced as I moved over to the counter to grab my makeup. I applied some mascara and light-purple eye shadow, and then opened the door and stepped into my room. I put on a light pink bra and matching underwear, and then put on a pair or dark denim shorts. The shorts were just enough to cover the fading bruise on my hip, and I went to my closer to look for a tank top. I picked out a white one with thick, dark blue stripes, and then grabbed a forest green cardigan and slipped it on. All the bruises were covered, and I felt a sick feeling of accomplishment as I limped over to my bed to put on a pair of navy flats. The clock on my nightstand blinked, and it read 7:08. I grabbed my backpack from my bed, and closed my bedroom door as I stepped out into the hallway. I lightly stepped onto the first step of the stairs, and did the same until I was at the bottom. The only sounds I could hear were my shoes tapping across the hardwood floor, and Morty's engine running outside. I twisted the doorknob, and locked it as I stepped onto my porch.

I put the key in my back pocket along with my phone, and softly trotted down the front steps. I glanced at Eli, and I didn't see him anywhere. Hot tears stung my eyes as I saw him missing, and my mind went in full panic mode.

My heart pounded in my chest as I thought I was about to lose it.

The panic rang through my head, and I sprinted for the hearse. The closer I got, the louder the music became. My hip and stomach stung and ached as I ran, but that didn't stop me. When I reached the passenger side, I felt nothing but relief when I saw Eli laying there on the bench seat of the hearse, with his eyes closed and his hands behind his head.

I blew out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding, and took the time to watch his sleeping face. The sarcastic and tough demeanor was absent, and there was only a sweet and innocent expression on his face as he slept. I smiled as I opened the car door softly, and I crawled and hovered over him as I tried to reach the button that unlocks the back of the hearse. I pressed it, and then moved to get off of him when I saw that he was awake. His eyes were open, and he had a content look on his face as he smirked up at me. I blushed and moved to quickly get off of him, but he grabbed my arm. He pulled me down so he could press a soft and sweet kiss to my lips, and I was speechless as I hovered over him at a loss for words.

"_Hi." _He whispered, still close to my face. I giggled quietly, and planted another chaste kiss on his lips.

"Hi." I said back with a mischievous grin, and then turned my head to turn the dial of the volume down a tad. I moved to get off of him, and he sat up as I grabbed my bag from the pavement and brought it to the back of the hearse. I put it in the trunk, and then slammed the door shut forcefully and got in the passenger side. He backed out of my driveway, and drove off down my street. I stuck my arm out the window and let it fly, and I felt the air whooshing past, but it felt nice and I giggled quietly.

It made me feel free.

I heard Eli chuckle, and I looked over to him to see that he was glancing at me every few seconds with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk. I laughed again.

"Don't look at me like that." I said playfully, and giggled. "Try it, it's fun." I continued, and he put on a mock thinking face. I rolled my eyes, and then he spoke.

"Nahh, not my style." He said, keeping his eyes on the road as we turned onto _De Grassi _Avenue. We drove into the parking lot of Degrassi, and he pulled into his reserved parking spot. His hearse was really long, and this was the only spot he could park where the end of Morty didn't stick out. I opened my car door and stepped onto the blacktop, and Eli came around to the back to unlock the back doors. He pulled them open and grabbed both of our bags, and I was about to take mine, but he slung both of them over his shoulder right when I was going to take it. I gave him a look, and he just smirked.

"Eli, you really don't hav-" I started, but he interrupted me.

"I got it, Clare." He said softly, hiking it farther up from his shoulder, along with his own. I smiled at him, and took his hand as we started to walk across the parking lot. "So, what movie do you want to see after school?" He asked me with a smirk, and I thought about it and gave him a snarky grin after I came up with an answer.

"I really wanted to see Friends With Benefits. It's that movie with Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis." I told him, and he looked at me with a cocked eyebrow. He shrugged and looked away with his smirk.

"Whatever you want." He said, looking down at me with a small smile. My face grew a shade of pink as I took in his close proximity, and I had a flashback of our kiss in the front seat of the hearse. I heard him chuckle, and I looked up at him in question.

"That's cute." He said bluntly, his smirk growing bigger as he took in my dark pink cheeks. I decided to play dumb, and tried my best to put on a look of confusion.

"What is?" I asked him blindly, trying not to limp as Eli and I took a few mores strides together. He laughed again, and then gestured to my cheeks with his hand. I giggled and stuck my tongue out at him. A foreign look appeared in his eyes, and it was similar to the look he gave me before he attacked my lips in the kitchen. I blinked a few times as he leaned down and pressed a soft and innocent kiss on my lips, but it was interrupted by the one and only, Adam Torres.

"Wow. It's about time." Adam said with a raised eyebrow and his own version of a smirk. I rolled my eyes and released Eli's hand, but he quickly took it back and squeezed it. I glanced up at him and gave him a small grin, and Eli just smirked as he started to lean down again to kiss me. I licked my lips as I leaned in, but Adam snapped his fingers between our faces before anything could happen.

"Enough with the love fest, guys." Adam said with a look of disgust. Eli scowled at him and gave him a look. "I never thought these words would ever come out of my mouth, but… let's get to class." I just laughed, and as we walked up the front stairs of Degrassi, I heard Adam mutter something under his breath. _"… Gross." _I giggled, and gripped Eli's hand harder as we approached the front doors. Adam pushed his way through them, and held it open for me and Eli as I saw the familiar blue, white, and yellow setting of high school. Eli turned me so I could face him, and then kissed me on the forehead sweetly.

"I have to get to my locker. See you at lunch?" He asked with a dazzle of hope in his expression.

I nodded. "Definitely." I told him and smiled, and said bye as I let go of his hand and made my way to my locker. I got my notebook, binder, and Algebra book and then shut my locker with a _pang._ When I got to algebra, the class went by in a blur. I could say the same for the rest of my classes, and I almost jumped when the bell rang for lunch. I rushed out of the classroom and hurried to my locker to put my books and notebooks away, but as I approached my locker, I saw Eli leaning on it with a smirk. I strode over to him, and we engaged in some flirty banter on our way to lunch. We sat down at a yellow round table in the back of the lunch room next to Ali and Adam, and Eli held my hand under the table as he ate his apple. Him and Adam were busy talking about the latest issue of _The Goon_, so Ali and I talked about her and Drew. When Eli finished his apple, he grabbed my empty container of fruit salad and threw it away for me.

After lunch, all of my classes went by in a flash. I couldn't wait for the final bell to ring. When it finally did, all of the students filed out of the classroom in a hurry. The halls were flooded with students, and I squeezed my way through crowds to get to my locker. I put in the combination, and it opened with a _click._ I grabbed my backpack and stuffed my homework in it, and shut my locker as I slung it over my shoulder. A quick breath blew out of me as I swiftly removed it, and I rubbed my upper back as I waited for the stinging ache to recede. Once the pain went away, I strode over to the front doors and pushed my way through. Before I could get down any steps, hands went over my eyes from behind and everything went dark. I smiled as I heard Eli's voice.

"Guess who?" He said playfully, and I pretended to ponder my answer.

"Hmm… is it my handsome boyfriend?" I asked questioningly, and he chuckled as he removed his hands and turned me around.

"Well, I wouldn't say _handsome…_ godly is probably a better description." He retorted with a witty smirk. I rolled my eyes playfully.

"My, my. When did you get so modest?" I asked him with a smile as I pulled him down the cement stairs by his wrist.

"It's natural talent." He said with a smirk as he took my hand in his. Goosebumps rose on my skin as I felt the electricity flow across it yet again.

"I'll look at movie times after I drive you home, and then I'll text you the time." He told me. I smiled, but then shook my head.

"You don't have to take me home. It's nice out today, I can walk." I told him. He looked hesitant, but nodded.

"You're sure?" He asked with a worried look in his eye. It was nice to know that I had someone that cared about me, and I smiled.

"Yes, Eli." I said as we reached the bottom of the stone steps. He pulled me toward him and wrapped his arms around me lightly, making sure he didn't cause me any pain. I smiled wider at that.

"I'll text you when I get home, okay?" He said in my ear, and I shivered as his hot breath blew across my neck. He let go of me and smirked, and I felt my face grow warm as he eyed me with an amused look on his face. I snapped back to reality.

"Okay." I muttered, my face returning back to normal. He pursed his lips and nodded. "Bye, Eli." I said, waving as I started to walk backwards.

"Bye, Clare." He said, doing the same thing, mocking me with a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes and laughed as I turned around and started to fervently walk home. My muscles tensed and my throat tightened at the thought of returning to my house. It seemed for the millionth time I silently prayed that my dad wouldn't be home. I gulped as I walked on a crosswalk and onto a curb of a road close to mine, and as I walked to the end of the street, my phone vibrated. I halted on the sidewalk and took my phone out of my pocket. I glanced at the text, and I smiled as I read it.

_There's a showing of Friends With Benefits at 4:20. Is that okay? -Eli_

I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I texted him back, and the only noise I was focusing on was the sound of my thumbs on the keypad, pressing letters.

_That's perfect. Can you pick me up at 4:10? (: -Clare_

That gave me an hour before Eli came and picked me up for the movie. As I closed my phone and put it away in my pocket, I started to walk again. I limped lightly onto my street, and the familiar scene of my neighborhood came into view. I watched as the black lab at the end of the street walked around the green grass of the yard, and as it saw me, it started to whine and wag its tail. I thought nothing of it as I continued to walk. I felt my phone vibrate again, and I took it out and read the text Eli sent me.

_Sounds good. Can't wait. -Eli_

I grinned lightly and put my phone back in my pocket. I looked toward my driveway, and realized that I was so caught up in the text Eli sent me, I hadn't even noticed what was on the other side of the driveway.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing. I sighed thankfully and relief washed over my body as I took in my empty driveway, and turned onto the curb in front of my house. I trotted up the pavement of my front walk, and limped my way up the cement steps onto my porch. I took my house key out of my back pocket and put it in the lock, and turned it as I pushed the door open. I stepped in and set my backpack where I always put it, and took off my flats next to the door as I closed it. The house was empty, and I don't think I've ever been this thankful for that. I plopped down on the dark brown couch in the living room, and grabbed the remote as I put my feet on the coffee table.

My mom never let me do that. But nobody cares anymore.

I shook the thought out of my mind as I flipped through the channels on the TV, and I stopped when I got to a drama-filled program about teenagers in high school that I had eventually gotten addicted to within the past year. As the show went on, I laughed at the funny comments on it, and winced mentally as I watched two girls get into a cat fight with one another. When the episode ended, the next one came on, and I watched half of that one until my phone vibrated.

_I'll pick you up in 15 minutes. Get ready for the time of your life. ;) -Eli_

I laughed at his comment, and turned the TV off as I went to the kitchen for a drink. I opened the fridge and saw that, like usual, it was almost empty. I settled for a glass of water, and I was taking a few sips when I heard a car engine in my driveway.

Wow, Eli was early. Though I didn't really mind, because the more time I got to spend with him, the better. I poured the remaining liquid from my glass in the sink, and set it down on the counter. I heard the front door open, and my eyebrows pulled together in confusion. I glanced around the archway in the kitchen and peered into the living room, and my body became rigid as I saw my father come through the door. He wasn't stumbling, and as my muscles tensed and my throat tightened, I felt surprised that he was sober. I quickly retracted my head from around the corner and leaned against the light blue walls as my stomach lurched and ached at the thought of him. I heard footsteps coming toward the kitchen, and I froze against the wall as my father came through the archway. He went straight for the brown wooden cabinet on the wall, and he pulled out a bottle of _Southern Comfort._ He didn't bother pouring it into a glass, he just twisted the cap off and brought the bottle to his lips and chugged. I didn't dare move as he finished half the bottle, and he set it down clumsily as he turned around. Our eyes met, and I froze, even though he couldn't keep his eyes still through his drunken state. He pointed his shaking finger at me, and my stomach twisted in pain at the anger in his voice as he yelled.

"WHERE THE FUCK WERE Y-YOU… LAST NIGHT?" He screamed, and he had to hold onto the counter for support as he stared me down. I gulped loudly as I thought of a convincing lie I could tell him. But the more I thought about it, I realized it didn't matter.

Because he would hit me anyway.

"I slept over at Ali's house." I fibbed, and I could tell he was angry. I saw his eyes go blank as the large amount of alcohol finally kicked in all the way, and he grabbed the bottle and took a large swig as he pointed his clumsy fingers at me again.

"You're a fucking _liar." _He said sinisterly, and the sick look he gave my made my stomach do back-flips.

And not in a good way.

I felt like I was trapped there against the wall, like the my bare feet were glued to the white tile of the kitchen. I wanted to bolt out of this room, through the front door, and out of this hell that I was forced to face almost every day. But I couldn't will my feet to move. Because I knew he would chase me; he wouldn't let me go. He wouldn't let me be free, and he never will. I suddenly wished that Eli had came early like I had thought, because then I could have escaped and avoided this mind-numbing situation that I was caught in. I felt like my father was sizing me up as he glared at me from across the kitchen, with a look in his eyes that I dread whenever I see him. I wanted to curl up into a ball on the floor, and sink into the boring tile that I walked across each day. At least then I could shield myself from the impending attack that I knew would happen, and I watched as my father set the bottle down. I sank down a little bit and tensed as he stumbled across the room towards my shaking form against the wall. He made sure to really get in my head as he walked faltering drunk steps toward me, and he got up in my face as I trembled against the wall behind me. He got only centimeters from my face, and I could smell the nausea-inducing smell of the alcohol mixed with his breath. I wanted to move away, but I was cornered against the dividing that I wish would disappear. I jumped as he reached his hand up to touch one of my curls creepily, eyeing it with such drunkenness that it made my heart pound in my chest. He started to laugh evilly at my uneasiness, and he let it go harshly as he moved his face closer to mine.

"Did your little church group… ever tell y-you that lying is a _sin?"_ He whispered in my face, and then put on a sick smile as he waited for my answer. I could stop myself from wanting to hit him, but I couldn't control the words that came out of my mouth.

"AND THIS ISN'T?" I shouted in his face, making him stumble back as I gave him a cold look with my eyes.

"You need to learn to keep your _damn _mouth shut." He said through his teeth while his jaw clenched. He moved closer again, and I didn't move a single muscle. He stared at me with his anger-stricken drunk gaze, and then I closed my eyes as he brought his hand up to my hair again. I flinched as he didn't hold it gently this time; he gripped it and pulled with such strength that it made me scream out in pain. I clenched my eyes shut as he dragged me into the living room by his strong hold on his hair, and he slammed me down on the ground as he stood over me and watched as I writhed in pain on the floor. The pain was unbelievable, I couldn't believe my eyes as he leaned down and started to unbutton my shorts. My eyes widened as he smiled creepily down at me.

"NO!" I screamed over and over again as he pinned my wrists down with one hand. He stopped trying to undo the zipper on my shorts, and he swung his hand back and slapped me hard across the face.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" He yelled in my face, and the smell of the alcohol on his breath wafted into my nostrils again. The tears started to fall from my eyes as he continued to try to pull my shorts off.

I flailed around as he pulled the zipper down, and my head was throbbing, but I was still thinking clearly.

No. He wouldn't take this from me.

I wouldn't let him.

I swiftly lifted my leg up and kicked him in the crotch, hard. He stumbled back onto the floor as he groaned and held his groin with both hands, and I took this opportunity to go get up off the floor quickly and dart into the kitchen as fast as I could.

I think that was the fastest I had ever ran.

My hand fumbled with the doorknob to the back door next to the cupboard, and I couldn't get it open because the cold fear running through my body was too strong. It was making me shake and fumble with the lock, and I turned around to see my father getting up off the hardwood floor of the living room. More tears fell as the tension thickened, and I turned around and cursed under my breath as I tried over and over to get the door open. It finally clicked open, and I opened it as fast as I could. Before I could cross the frame of the door, I felt strong hands grip my hair again. The tears streamed down my face as they pulled until I was back in the hell that my dad put me through. He dragged me into the living room, but not before one of his hands shut the door with a loud _slam,_ and it echoed through the entire house. It sounded deafening amidst all my screams of terror, and I felt my dad kick my legs out from under me. I fell hard onto the hardwood floor, and I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt my shoulders hit the ground roughly.

"You damn _bitch._" He forced out through his teeth as he limped in a circle around me. I felt smug that I had left damage from my kick, but even that smugness didn't cover up the sheer terror going through my mind at the moment. He swiftly took his foot back and kicked me in the side, and I heard my scream ring all through the cold space as his foot came in contact with the already-existent deep bruises. I heard him laugh, and I looked up at him, silently pleading with him not to do it again.

But pleading never worked.

As I writhed on the wooden floor in pain, he took his foot back again and did the same thing, and I felt it even through my hands covering the spot where he had kicked me before. The pain was unbearable, and as my stomach twisted with the agony rushing through my senses, I felt this despair cloud my brain. It was telling me to give up, to just lay there as he broke me. It said that it would be the best option.

But in my heart, I knew I couldn't do that to myself again. I took all the strength I had to roll over and crawl towards the kitchen again, but I felt his cold hands grab my ankles and pull me back. I scraped my fingernails on the floor, trying to get some traction to keep him from pulling me farther back into the space. I cried out as he flipped me over, and he jabbed me in the face with his fist. I felt a metallic liquid fill my mouth, and I could only remember the taste as being blood. He stomped on my chest with his sock-clad foot, and I felt the air whoosh out of my chest as I turned over onto my stomach. I gasped and choked for air as he kicked me in my other side, and I felt blood dripping out of my mouth and onto the floor. I coughed and hacked as he kept kicking the air out of me, and I watched as blood flew out of my mouth into a pool on the floor.

The feeling reminded me of when I was a little kid. Once, when I went to go kick the soccer ball, I missed and fell flat on my ass with a loud _thunk._ I remember not being able to catch my breath, and I couldn't speak at all as the I had the wind knocked out of me.

This was the same thing, except it kept happening to me over and over and over again.

"_HELP!" _I screamed with the breath of air I had finally been able to catch, and I went right back to coughing and sputtering for air.

I screamed again, and my own voice drowned out any other noises as it rose to it's highest octave. My dad leaned down and covered my mouth with his hand, and my eyes widened as he rose up my shirt a little bit. My limbs flung around trying to stop him, and I saw him raise his eyebrows at the discolorations all over my stomach. He whipped my shirt back down, and punched me one last time in the gut with his fist. I screamed as more agony clouded my mind, and I couldn't think straight as he got up and went into the kitchen. He came back with his bottle of alcohol, and he took a swig as he watched me wiggle around on the floor in agony, as I was gripping my stomach and clenching my eyes shut as pain whirled in my body. He stood there, drinking out of that bottle, watching his youngest daughter tremble on the floor. He laughed as I looked up at him with a betraying expression, and once again, I couldn't control the two words that fought to come out of my mouth.

"Fuck you." I spat at him, and his eyes became slits as he stared down at me. He gripped the bottle in his hand as he prepared to throw it, and I quickly moved out of the way as he slammed it down only inches from my head. The sound of it gave me goosebumps, and I heard the pieces of glass dancing and bouncing on the floor near my head as it shattered. My tears mixed with my blood on wood beneath me, and I watched with dizzy vision as my dad yanked on his shoes and went out the front door, slamming it on his way out. I curled up on the floor, fighting away the blackness that wanted to consume my mind. My eyes kept drifting shut, but I forced them open as I laid there broken on my living room floor.

I felt like giving up.

This would never change. I would always come home to a drunk father, he would always beat me, he would always belittle me until I felt like a scared puddle of nothingness on the ground. I cried as I dragged myself over a few feet, and gave up as I gave in to spiraling blackness that filled my mind. It looked so welcoming compared to this earthbound hell I was damned to. I felt the room spin around me, and the walls only became flashes of light blue that seemed all too bright for this evil house. I heard the front door handle jiggle in the distance, and I went farther into the dark tunnel my mind was spiraling into. I heard a boy screaming my name, and I knew right away that it was Eli. I tried to go back the opposite direction that the tunnel was forcing me to go, but the pull was too strong. All I saw were teary green eyes looking down at my broken body, and I heard him screaming.

"Clare, look at me. LOOK AT ME. Wake up! CLARE!" He yelled, and even though I felt my eyes spinning in all directions, the last thing that I heard made my heart break. _"Please wake up." _He sobbed, and that was the last thing I heard before the blackness finally took me completely into it's grasp.

**_End of Chapter 7._**

**Whoaaa, there it is! For me, that was pretty long, haha. It took me a few days to write, so I hope you liked it. Did you... love it? Like it? Hate it? Leave me a reviewww, pleeeaase. **

**Will Clare get help, or will it escalate into something more? Take your guess in your review! I'll hopefully update soon, but i'm still pretty busy. Have a good weekend. (:**

**-Maceford. **


	8. I Know It's True

**Hey Guys, here's chapter 8! It's shorter, because I kind of wanted to put the story in chunks for this part. Enjoooy. (: **

**~Disclaimerrr: I don't own Degrassi or any of it's characterss! But I can dreamm, right!**

"Clare, look at me. LOOK AT ME. Wake up! CLARE!" He yelled, and even though I felt my eyes spinning in all directions, the last thing I heard made my heart break. _"Please wake up."_ He sobbed, and that was the last thing I heard before the blackness finally took me completely into it's grasp.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The darkness had controlled me and pulled me deeper and deeper within itself. I shot out of the tunnel for a brief moment, and my eyes fluttered open as I took in my surroundings. I was in a car, a hearse to be exact. I was leaning on the driver, who had green eyes and raven hair. _Eli?_

"Eli?" I heard my voice say, sounding disoriented. I never got to hear anything more, because I was sucked right back into the spiraling tunnel of darkness.

I don't know how long I had been floating in this dark place of nothingness, but I flew backward in darkness.

I could hear voices and beeping noises as I became more aware of the surroundings outside the tunnel, and I attempted to listen.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"_Why won't you tell me what happened?" I heard a women say. Wait… Cece?_

_Silence was all that followed that question. _

_Beep. Beep._

"_Eli?" Cece asked with a hint of worry in her voice, and the tunnel stopped spinning as I heard his name._

"_What?" Eli snapped in a harsh voice, and then apologized. "Sorry, sorry…" _

As I was listening to this, it almost seemed as if I was trying to listen through a thick pane of glass. Their voices sounded distant coming through my ears, and I strained to listen harder as I heard them talking more.

"_-not my secret to tell." Eli finished, and I was confused as I didn't hear the first half of the sentence. _

_Beep. Beep Beep. Beep. _

_I was trying desperately to remember where I was, what had happened, at least something. But nothing came to me. _

_I heard Cece sigh, and as I listened intently for anything to give me clues, I heard a man clear his throat. _

I felt my mind freeze, and then everything came flooding back to me.

The kitchen. My dad hitting me, kicking me, breaking me. Agony. My dad attempting to... _rape me._ Trying to escape. Being dragged back in. Being broken again. And again. And again. Pain. Blood. Tears. Stomping. The front door opening. Eli screaming my name. Being engulfed in the blackness. _Everything._

I heard the beeping increase in speed.

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP. _

"_What's happening?" I heard a gruff voice say, and I can only describe it as being Bullfrog's. I felt someone squeezing my hand, and I backtracked out of the tunnel as everything came back. _

"_Clare? Clare, can you hear me? Clare?" I heard Eli ask, and then I felt my hand being squeezed again. "NURSE!" He shouted loudly. _

I sucked in a harsh breath of air as I stepped out of the tunnel completely, and my eyes whipped open as I heard footsteps rushing toward me. I felt tears rushing down my face as the feeling of despair made itself present in my mind, and I took in the blinding white walls of the room I was in. I started to panic and move to the other side of the bed, and grimaced and squeezed my eyes shut as my stomach felt like it was breaking in half. I looked around in fear as I saw a nurse, Bullfrog, Cece, and… _Eli._

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

What the hell _was_ that? I looked around to find the source of the continuous beeping noise, and found a large monitor on the other side of the room. It had green and red squiggly lines on it, and then it dawned on me.

I was in a hospital.

The tears flowed faster as I realized that my secret might be out in the open for everyone to see.

I watched in confusion and panic as a nurse came to my side with a syringe, and I backed away again in fear as she came closer. The animalistic pain came back in a pang, and I took a sharp intake of breath. I felt my hand being squeezed again, and I turned around to see Eli behind me with a blank expression as he kept his eyes on his mother. I felt a sharp pain in my arm, and I turned again to see the nurse sticking the needle into my right arm. I blinked as tears fell over the rim of my eyes, and then she pulled it out and stared intently at the heart monitor. The beeping slowed, and I felt my mind become clearer and more calm as the nurse had a satisfactory look on her face. She put the empty syringe on the metal tray across the room, and I closed my eyes briefly as the pain in my stomach disappeared, and I felt as if I was floating.

"_Clare?" _I heard Eli whisper from the chair next to the bed. I turned toward the sound of his voice, and my eyes flew open and blue eyes met a pair of green ones. All I wanted to do was hug him and take the pain out of his eyes, and it was very evident that he was tired, because he had dark bags under his eyes. Wait… what day was it?

"What…" I said quietly, closing my eyes as I pondered. "What day is it?" I asked, reopening them and looking at him. I was suddenly very aware of Cece and Bullfrog staring intently at me as Eli thought. He coughed and looked down at the hospital bed, and back at me.

"I've stayed here with you... it's, um… it's Wednesday morning." He said softly, and my eyes widened. When I did that, another tear fell over the edge, and I watched as a nurse got a tissue from the bedside table and raised it to wipe my face. I flinched and shrunk backwards on the bed as her hand came closer, and she quickly put on a confused expression as she put her hand back down. I shook my head as the panic and fear I had adapted from Monday night clouded my mind, and I watched again as Eli gestured for her to give him the tissue. She reached across me and I shrank back again, and the nurse eyed me strangely. He took the tissue and reached up to wipe my face, but I didn't shrink back this time.

I trusted him.

The nurse smiled lightly and she walked across the room in her brightly colored scrubs, and she exited out the doorway as she realized she wasn't needed any longer. Eli dabbed at my cheek with the same blank expression, and I winced as he hit a spot much lighter than all the rest. He quickly apologized, but I put my hand to my cheek and flinched as I felt the strong ache there.

That's where my dad jabbed me in the face. I stared blankly at the sheets covering me from the waste down, and I was surprised to see that I still had the same clothes on. My tank-top had dark smudges on it, and my sweater had traces of something similar.

"_I told them you wouldn't want a hospital gown." _Eli whispered, and for the first time it felt for a long time, I gave him a small smile. I looked down at my shirt again, and this time I noticed an odd bulge. I pulled my shirt up a little bit, and saw multiple bandages there, wrapped all the way around my torso. I looked at Eli accusatorily, and he sighed.

"Can I talk to her alone?" He asked Bullfrog and Cece, and they nodded and got up to leave. Cece flashed me a smile before she left the room.

"What is this?" I asked him, gesturing to my bandaged stomach. He shook his head as he released my hand and I watched as he clenched and unclenched his hands.

"You have, um… _he_ gave you four broken ribs." He said quietly with a hint of hate in his voice. I couldn't look him in the eye, so I concentrated on the abstract painting on the wall to my right. What he said next made me feel so strange, like I had guilt. "The doctors also said you had evidence of previous fractures." He said quietly, with an unknown emotion in his tone. I didn't say a word. "Why didn't you ever tell anyone?" He asked softly, and I lost it.

"It's not that easy." I snapped at him, and it appeared that my tone didn't have any effect on him.

"You just ha-" He started, but I interrupted him.

"YOU. DON'T. GET IT." I yelled loudly, and realized that my voice sounded raspy, and threw my hands in the air. I stopped to stare at the tube going into my arm, and I shook my head as another tear fell down my cheek. Anger surged through me, because truly, he doesn't understand. I whispered harsh words under my breath. "Imagine if Cece died, and then your dad was drunk _every single time you see him. Think about it. What if Bullfrog scared you shitless every time you saw him_. Imagine him hitting you and saying such cruel things to you, you felt like _dying_. What if he was the _only_ family you had left, and even though he hit you almost every day, you _still_ loved him. You'd hate it, just like I do!" I said, laughing bitterly. He had a pained look on his face as I kept rambling, but the word vomit just kept coming. "I love him and hate him at the same time." I said miserably, but continued. "He doesn't give a shit about me. All he cares about is _fucking alcohol he pours down his throat. _Just to prove a point, he isn't even here right now!" I yelled, gesturing around to the room.

I heard the heart monitor speeding up a little bit as I remembered my dad trying to take off my shorts, of him trying to break me further, when he tried to _rape me._ He stayed silent, but went to grab my hand again. I ripped it away from him, and wrapped my arms around myself as the memory flashed in my head.

"You're right. I wouldn't want to tell anyone either." He said with a look that had defeat, anger, and concern all in one.

I went back to thinking about when my father tried to…

I couldn't even say it.

It made me sick.

I quickly covered my mouth with my shaking hand as bile rose in my throat. I closed my eyes and waited for the nausea to pass, and I removed my hand when it did. I glanced at Eli, and he looked panicked and worried as he watched my every move.

"Are you okay?" He asked, keeping his hand a good distance away because he knew I didn't want to be touched. "What's wrong?" He asked sincerely, with an alarmed look on his face.

"I'm fine. It's nothing." I lied, and looked him in the eye so that he'd believe me. He shook his head and put on a forced-looking smirk.

"Like I said before." He took my hand. "You're a terrible liar. What is it?" He asked.

I didn't want to tell him. No way in _hell_ was I going to. I thought of something else to tell him that was also the truth, something that'd been eating away at me since my dad threw the glass bottle at my head.

"I thought he was going to kill me." I said softly, looking down. "And I almost gave up. I almost wanted him to." I mumbled quietly, and I felt him trace small circles on top of my hand, which always calmed me down. I saw sadness in his eyes when I looked at him, and I quickly looked down again.

"I'm glad you didn't give up." He said, and I felt his eyes on me as I looked down at my smudged teal cardigan. "'Cause I wouldn't want to live without your snarky comebacks and blushes whenever I get close to you." He said with a real smirk, and I giggled at his ability to break the tension. He smiled and stood up, and he leaned down as he licked his lips. I felt a red blush adorn my cheeks, and he smirked again.

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP. _

"_Damn." _I cursed under my breath when I heard the heart monitor continue beeping with a bit faster pace

. Eli chuckled, and I felt the piney, minty scent of his breath on my face. I breathed in the pleasant smell, and he swiftly leaned down and planted a sweet kiss on my lips. We pulled apart and he caressed my bruised cheek with his palm. His lips curled up on side into his signature smirk, and I felt a smile creep onto my face as he looked at me with relief.

"I'm glad you're okay." He said quietly, and then his hand moved from my cheek to an auburn curl of hair that was in my face. He tucked it behind my ear, and I smiled at the loving gesture.

"Me too." I said back, the smile unable to leave my face.

And I knew it was true.

**End of Chapter 8.**

**Sorry, haha, this was a lot shorter. But, like I said up there, I wanted to sort it out into chunks. So yeahh. Did you... Like it? Love it? Haaate it...? Tell me in a review! Hopefully next chapter will be up later this weeeek.**

**-Macyy. **


	9. I Don't Have The Answers

**Hey Guys. I'm really sorry I didn't update sooner, but, like I stated last chapter, my computer had to be taken into the mall to get a total of _16 _viruses off of it. And guess what? They were aaaall from Facebook. And then I lost my chapter when they wiped off my computer... and it took me a couple days to rewrite it. So yeah. Enough about me. This is kind of a filler chapter, because I wanted some fluff, so yeah, here it is. Hopefully, you'll like it. R&R, pleeease. Enjoyy. **

**Disclaimerrr: I do not in any way, shape, or form one Degrassi or any of its characters. (But, technically, I own Eli, because he stole my heart. 3 (: )**

"I'm glad you're okay." He said quietly, and then his hand moved from my cheek to an auburn curl of hair that was in my face. He tucked it behind my ear, and I smiled at the loving gesture.

"Me too." I said back, the smile unable to leave my face.

And I knew it was true.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Bullfrog and Cece left after Eli and I had finished with our serious conversation. Bullfrog had to work, and Cece had to take care of the house. I get to leave the hospital tomorrow afternoon, and I simply couldn't wait. After Eli and I finished talking, I took a small nap. Now, I was thinking. The conversation with Eli had definitely calmed me down; I wasn't scared of every tiny movement that was made in this drab, boring, and lifeless room. The hospital smelled of cleaning products and plastic, and I absolutely _hated_ it.

It reminded me of the unthinkable pain I had gone through two years ago, when my father and I had rushed in here, only to discover that my mom was never going to open her eyes. I can distinctly remember the feeling of numbness as I realized certain facts that made tears sting my eyes. _She wasn't ever coming back. She would never laugh again. I wouldn't ever get to hear her comforting voice ever again. _The memories felt so raw and real, that I felt more hot tears wanting to spill over just thinking about them. I've trained myself not to get worked up over them, and I quickly blinked back the few tears threatening to escape. Thank God Eli was too busy thinking about his own memories to see me tear up over mine.

_Did I even believe in God anymore?_

Wouldn't God have stopped the parental abuse I've been forced to suffer? If there was a God, wouldn't he have saved me, like the bible said he would eventually?

Wouldn't he want me to be happy?

But maybe he had a plan for me. What if he planned on saving me? What if it was his plan? I can't stand all these 'What-if's.' They made me feel exposed, like the world could come crashing down on my shoulders any moment. But I knew nothing would be crashing down on me.

Because, for me, the world has already crashed. And there was nothing that could put all of the pieces back together. I was hopeless.

Right then, my world-loathing attitude changed drastically as a thought came to me when I stared down at the pale blue hospital sheets.

What if he had hadn't rescued me, because he was waiting for me to save _myself? _

"Clare?" I heard Eli's voice say from the chair next to the hospital bed. I swiftly looked away from the sheets I had spaced out staring at. My gaze landed upon his face, and he appeared to be studying mine. "Do you need more meds? You look like you're in pain." He said softly, with a hint of concern in his tone and expression. I immediately nodded and looked away.

But I hadn't lied. I _was_ truly in pure agony.

Because I was torn in half.

And this mental tearing sensation made a harsh pulling feeling in my chest, and I didn't like it one bit. I bit down on my lip softly as Eli pressed the glowing red button on the gray remote laying on the bedside hospital table. He glanced at me as it made a light buzzing noise, signaling a nurse to come assist my broken self. As I sat up, I felt the sharp ache of my ribs, but I secretly hoped it was my injuries, and not my scared, fumbling heart. I looked over to see Eli scooting his chair closer to the bed, taking my bruised hand in his, lightly squeezing it as he stared into my sad eyes, looking for some sort of answer. But he surely wasn't going to find one. He didn't press me on it as a caramel-colored nurse in bright colored scrubs came through the door, taking a glance at me, and then directed her eyes toward the dark-haired boy at my bed side.

"I think she needs more pain medication." He told the dark-skinned woman, and she nodded slightly with a smile as she held one finger up, signaling for us to wait, and then left the room. I blew out a large breath, grimaced when I felt a different type of tugging pain in my torso. I sucked in a breath as my hand quickly flew to my stomach, but then realized it was a horrible idea as my fingers applied pressure onto the bandaged bruises. Right then, the nurse came back through the door, carrying a tray with a silver platter. Alongside the platter was a clear syringe, filled with a dull orange colored liquid. I grimaced once again when I saw the needle, and soon enough, she swung out the plastic table attached to the bed. She set the worn, dark brown tray down on the table.

"It's around noon right now, so while I was here, I just brought you your lunch as well." The nurse said, picking up the syringe filled with foreign liquid. She saw me eyeing it in worry, and she smiled half-heartedly as she took off the plastic safety tip from the end of the needle. "Sorry, sweetheart. But it'll be done and over with before you know it." She said with a smile, and I took a frightened glance at Eli. He gave me a reassuring look before patting my thigh with his hand, quickly removing it as he saw me wince from the pressure on the probably fading bruise. I pursed my lips and clenched my eyes shut as the nurse woman grabbed my arm with her rubber-gloved hand, placing it on a cold metal table on my right side. I shivered at the feeling of my warm arm being in such contrast against the temperature of the cold metal. I waited in suspense for the stinging pain I knew would come once she stuck the sharp needle into my arm, and I whimpered as I felt the sharp prick of the syringe pass through my skin. It stayed there for a moment until I felt the stinging subside when the caramel-colored woman removed the needle from my arm, and I retracted my arm from the cold metal at once. I unclenched my eyes as the dull yellowish lights of the hospital came back into my vision, and I glanced at my arm laying down at my side. I watched as a small bead of blood seeped through the entering-sight of the needle, and I quickly looked away to immediately meet my gaze with a pair of emerald eyes. I gulped and looked back at the nurse as I saw the sympathy in them. The nurse was just setting the syringe back onto the metal tray when she began to talk again. "See? Now, that wasn't too bad. Eat up." She told me, gesturing to the tray of food she left me, and then patting my foot lightly as she exited the small room. I felt my body relax, and the almost-crippling anxiety left my system as the pain medication kicked in fully. Was it the pain from my injuries that was making me question God before; or was it real emotions? I didn't have the answer.

"I'm so sorry." I heard Eli say quietly once the nurse had left.

"For what?" I asked with confusion. None of this was his fault, and I would mentally kick him if he thought it was.

"I'm sorry that you have to eat the nasty hospital food." He said with a smirk, and a happy giggle escaped from my throat as his usual self came back into play. Leave it to Eli to make me feel better, and not press me on anything. He was nice that way; always trying to give me what I wanted, even when what I wanted was unclear to either of us.

"It might not be _too _bad…" I said hesitantly, reaching for the lid of the silverish-colored platter on the tray in front of me. I paused as I glanced at him, and he gave me a pointed look towards the tray. I grabbed the handle and lifted it. The smell hit me before the sight of it did, and I made a face at what I both saw and smelled. "You were right." I said with a disgusted face as I stared at the soupy mashed potatoes, the spongey-looking meatloaf, and the green colored jell-o cup. He chuckled as he saw me poke the 'meatloaf' lightly with my finger, only to hear a disgusting squishing noise.

"Is that even considered _edible?"_ I heard him say, and I turned to him only to see him eyeing the food with his mouth turned down in disgust. I can only imagine my face mirrored his, but my mouth quickly turned into a smile at his priceless face. I'd never seen it before, and it made a light laugh come through the cold atmosphere of the room. Surprisingly, I realized that the laugh was mine, and quickly slapped my hand to my mouth, in shock of my laughter. His eyes left the tray in front of me to give me a questioning look, and I watched as one of his eyebrows raised high up on his forehead.

"Your face." I explained to him, and his eyebrow only raised higher.

"What about it?" He asked, but then caught himself. "But if you're pointing out my totally cute cheekbones-" He started to say in a really girly voice, but I interrupted him by burying my head in my hands to try to muffle my loud laughter. I felt myself shaking with each intake of air as I tried to catch my breath after my laughing fit, and it didn't hurt at all. It felt strange, like I felt hollow. But at least there wasn't any more of the agonizing pulling of my ribcage. I looked up at Eli, and noticed that he'd put both his feet up on the thick plastic edging of the bed, and put his hands behind his head as he leaned back in his chair. He had a playful, smug look on his face as he watched me, and I couldn't help but stare at the smirk on his face a little longer than I normally did. He was… well, adorable. I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks as I looked away from my smirking boyfriend, and paid more attention to the crappy hospital food in front of me. I grabbed the plastic spoon from the other side of the tray, and tried to test the consistency of the soupy mashed potatoes. I quickly set my spoon back down as I watched the watery goop fall from the plastic utensil, and then watched as the so-called 'potatoes' settled back into their original blob on the dark tray. I groaned as I stared at my entire tray of food, and even as hungry as I was, none of it looked appetizing. I took a look at Eli, and he had the same disgusted face as he took his hands from behind his head and set them in his lap.

"You know, I can call Cece and Bullfrog and ask them to bring normal food when they come back to see you again tonight." He told me, and I felt a wave of relief come over me as I became thankful I didn't have to eat this… whatever it was. "And I'll make sure they bring something that's actually… oh, I don't know… _edible." _He said, and playfully shuddered. That made me laugh again. He smiled at me as he watched me shake my head, and I turned back to the tray. I stared at the normal-looking lime jell-o cup, and decided that I could at least try it. I went to grab my spoon, but then quickly grabbed my fork instead as I saw the blobs of soupy potatoes making a puddle underneath the spoon. I forked some into my mouth, and pushed it around hesitantly, seeing if it was as unappetizing as the rest of the tray. I shook my head with a look of uneasiness as I pushed the jell-o cup farther away from me, unwillingly forcing the gritty lime-flavored blob down my throat as the taste settled on my taste buds. I heard Eli chuckle, and I looked at him questioningly.

"Your face." He explained to me, and I quickly came up with a comeback.

"What about it?" I asked in my best Eli voice. "But if you're pointing out my totally cute cheekbo-" I struggled to say, but I soon just stopped trying as mine and Eli's laughter filled the small room. He gave one last small chuckle as he opened his mouth to talk, but my stomach's angry growl interrupted the atmosphere of the room. He closed his mouth and raised his right eyebrow, and I felt a red color flush up to my cheeks. He uncrossed his legs and let them drop to the tile floor as he leaned towards me a little.

"I can go get you something from the vending machine on the third floor if you want." He said, his eyebrow still raised.

"You don't have to do that, I can just w-" I started to reassure him, but he stood up with a smirk anyway.

"I'll be right back." He said, taking my hand and bringing it up to his face, softly pressing his smirking lips to the top of my hand. He squeezed my hand and set it back down next to my side on the bed, and he smiled as he reluctantly walked across the small room to the door. He looked at me one last time before leaving, flashing me a gorgeous smile before disappearing behind the doorframe. I hadn't noticed until he left the room, but when he left the room, I felt a cold emptiness inside myself that I couldn't place. I felt alone, out in the open, vulnerable, even _scared._ I shivered as this cold feeling overtook my body, and I felt this anxiousness in my chest as a mental picture gave me a reminder of everything I'd been trying to put in the back of my mind. I pictured my father stumbling in here, coming to take me away from this safe but boring place, and damning me back to my personal hell: my house. I shook the thought away, but the anxiousness couldn't fade away like my thoughts had. I suddenly wished I had stopped Eli from leaving, so that if by some ground-breaking reason my mental scenario came true, he would be here to stop my dad from hurting me.

That's when I started to consider my options.

I could stay silent. I could keep hiding the fact that my father hit me, that he broke me, that he tried to do something so _horrible and wrong_. Or, I could speak out. I could confess my home life to a complete stranger, to someone I didn't trust. But then my mind took a different route.

Would my father get in trouble if I told someone about him? Would he go to jail, get off scot-free, go to rehab, or could he face something worse? These thoughts both angered and saddened me, which was a total mystery to me. Why should I be angry that my current sentence to personal hell could be lifted? I shouldn't be, it was wrong. But that didn't change how I felt.

I could make no sense of my emotions. In that moment, I hated the life I was bound to. How did it make sense that my father's possible-departure angered me? It shouldn't. I should _want_ him gone. But why did it pain me to think about the independent solitude I _craved?_

I wanted the monster to stay. And that was plainly wrong.

All of this hit me like a ton of bricks, and I quickly wrapped myself up into a tight ball and laid down on my side. I rocked slightly back and forth, hugging my knees to my chest as my tears threatened to drip over the edges of my eyes. Then, the answer to all of my rhetorically-made questions rang through my mind. Five words kept repeating themselves to me inside my head, and they were the answer to every worry, every question, every single tingle of anxiety I've felt over this harsh realization.

_It's because I love him. _

Those five little words were the answer to everything. But they didn't help me at all.

Why should I love him? Why should I love the man that broke me countless times, the man that tried to _rape _me? I didn't have the answer.

I should hate him. I should want him dead, in prison, anywhere but in my life. But I didn't want any of that. There were so many things that I _should_ be doing. Crying, hating, wishing.

But I didn't want to be.

All of this felt wrong, like I was going against some sacred human code of life. Why was I doing this? Why was I questioning everything that I thought I'd been _so sure of before?_ Why did I love him, after all that he'd done to me, both physically and emotionally?

All these simple questions couldn't be answered. Because I didn't have the answer to anything. I was confused, and angry. Those facts didn't change anything. They just left me right there at the beginning, wondering what was wrong with me, why I was doing this, why I had to keep this a secret. And I didn't have the answers.

That's what bothered me most. I didn't have any answers. But there were _so _many questions.

Like, why was I fighting the stinging I felt behind my eyes as the tears fought to flow over? Why was I sitting here, with no answers, wondering what was wrong with me? Why didn't I have any of the goddamn answers? I didn't know. I didn't have any control. I had nothing. My head whipped towards the sound of the door handle twisting, the door opening with a soft click. I heard a crinkling of a bag, but then the sound was covered by the tapping noise of sneakers hitting the white tile floor at a fast pace, the feet rushing towards me. "Clare?" I heard the voice say, and my muscles unclenched at the sound of his voice. I felt the tear that I'd been struggling to hold back set itself free, and I sniffled as the tear rolled down the side of my face, sliding somewhere into my unruly curls. My arms let loose of their hold on my knees as he said my name again, this time with alarm laced in his tone. I lifted my eyes to meet his worried ones, and I felt him set down a bag of chips and a water bottle on the bed near my feet. "Are you okay? Clare, what happened? Talk to me. Please." Eli asked and pleaded with a longing look in his eyes. I straightened myself out and wiped furiously at my moistened cheeks, trying not to let my feelings show, but I knew that they were already out in the open for him to see.

"I'm fine, Eli." I squeaked, my voice breaking as I said his name, which didn't help me pass my reassurance on to his worried expression. He held doubt in his expression, and he opened his mouth to say something. I quickly replaced whatever he was going to say, with an explanation that he would understand. "I don't want to talk about it right now." I muttered, and he closed his mouth as he nodded hesitantly. I sat up again, wincing as I crossed my legs like I'd done so long ago. There was a Quaker Oats granola bar near where my had feet had been before, and I eyed it along with the water bottle next to it. Eli's arm snatched them both up from the bed, opened the granola bar for me, and set the water bottle down on the side table. I bit into the granola bar and almost moaned; I hadn't had anything like this in at least a few days. I heard Eli chuckle softly, and I just smiled as I took another mouthful of granola. Too soon, I took the last bite, and savored it as I crumpled the wrapper in my palm. "Thank you." I quietly said.

Now that I had Eli by my side, I didn't have to worry anymore with all of the 'what-if's'. I could be normal, at least for a little while, considering I was in a hospital. I crinkled the wrapper up in a tight ball, and stared at the trash can across the room. I aimed, and flicked my wrist to attempt to make the wrapper into the trash can. With much disappointment, it hit the ground next to it. I frowned as I stared at the silver ball of trash, and I heard Eli 'tsk' with disappointment as he stared at it as well. He got up and shot me a smirk before turning to go put the trash in the proper place.

"The ultimate walk of shame." He muttered with a chuckle, and then placed the trash into it's rightful place. I began another small laughing fit again, and he smiled as he heard it. He walked back over to me, and I noticed the dark bags under his eyes as he sat down.

"When's the last time you slept?" I asked him, my short laughing fit over and done with. He shot me a look, and I gave him an expectant look, silently telling him to answer the question soon.

"Monday night." He answered truthfully, and my eyes widened.

"You're sleeping tonight." I ordered him, pointing a finger at his chest. He laughed.

"Look at you, being all assertive." Eli said in a cute voice, and it made me giggle again. Right then, I realized something that could end up being embarrassing for me.

I had to go to the bathroom.

"I have to pee." I told Eli, being blunt. I glanced at ways I could unhook everything from me so that I could walk to the bathroom, but he put his hand on my arm to stop me.

"I peed when I went to get you your food." He said with a smug expression. I shot him a look. "I'll just call the nurse to help you." He said, pressing the red button on the table again. I glanced at Eli, and he was watching me and smiling like an idiot.

"What?" I asked him, confused. He just chuckled.

"You." He answered, as if it were obvious. I never got to question him more, because a young, red-headed nurse with freckles came into the room. I was about to tell her my problem, but Eli beat me to it.

"She has to go to the bathroom." He said with a smirk, and the nurse nodded with a smile. She walked over and took my heartbeat-monitoring clip from my index finger.

"Do you think you can walk? Or would you like a wheel chair?" She asked politely.

"I think I can walk." I said, swinging my legs over to hang off the side of the bed. I planted my feet on the floor, and fixed my teal cardigan as it rode up a bit to reveal the white bandages on my stomach. I carefully stood up, and tested myself by moving forward a few steps. My legs felt like jelly, but they were strong enough. The nurse put her hand on my lower back to guide me to the bathroom right across the hall. She pushed the door open for me, and I stepped in, only to see a light mauve colored bathroom that smelled of cleaning agents. I eyed the white toilet there in the corner of the small space, and I turned around to shut the door when I saw that the nurse had already done it for me. What confused me was why she followed me in here. She saw the look on my face, and smiled half-heartedly at me as she explained.

"I have to assist you, in case you fall. It's code, honey, I'm sorry. I'll look the other way." She said, turning her back to me as I hesitantly and carefully did what I had to do. I felt very… awkward. When I was finished, I limped over to the sink to wash my hands, and the nurse turned around to get the door for me again. I hadn't noticed it before, but I had a light pink hue to my cheeks as I took faltering steps from the small bathroom. I stepped into the hall, and immediately saw Eli through the glass panes beside the door. He had his eyes closed, and was drumming his fingers on his knees as he listened to an invisible song. I smiled. The nurse hurried me back into the room, and guided me over to the hospital bed once again. I sighed as I sat down in it, and the red-headed nurse situated the pillow behind my back before she turned to leave.

"If you need anything else, dear, don't hesitate to press the buzzer." She shouted to me over her shoulder, shooting me a smile before she left. I still felt very awkward about the whole thing. I clipped the heartbeat-monitoring clip back onto my index finger, and focused on the pale blue sheets again with wide eyes. I glanced at Eli, and his eyes were now open. His eyebrows were pulled together in confusion of my expression.

"What happened?" He asked, and I felt my face heat up again.

"She… she, um… stoodtherewhileIpeed." I mumbled quietly.

"Um, _what? _I can't understand you." He asked in amusement.

"I said, she stood there while I went to the bathroom." I asked, with an awkward smile. But I'm sure the smile looked more like a grimace. He laughed huskily, and that one laugh reminded me of Bullfrog's booming one.

"Really?" He asked in amused awe, and I nodded with a short giggle. He chuckled one last time. "Wow." He said, holding back more laughter. I suddenly became very aware of this sticky feeling all over my body, and I didn't like it at all. That's when I remembered that I hadn't showered since Monday morning. Ugh.

"I feel so _gross._" I expressed out loud, and Eli looked at me questioningly.

"Why?" He asked in curiosity.

"I haven't showered since _Monday morning. _That's two and a half _days._" I groaned, and he just smirked.

"Ha, I've gone _much_ longer than that, before." He said with his usual smirk. I made a disgusted face. To make it worse, he smirked as he lifted his arm up and sniffed. He appeared to be considering something, and then put his armpit down.

"I'm not _too_ bad." He said, his smirk huge. I waved my hand in front of my face as if to prove a point.

"You're foul." I said to him, and he just chuckled, as if this was the truth.

"Well, I _am_ a guy." He said matter-of-factly. I scoffed.

"I, however, am _not_ a boy. I actually shower on a daily basis. And I feel disgusting right now." I told him, and he only shook his head. He looked me up and down.

"You look _fine."_ He told me, and I shook my head.

"No, I probably don't. I feel gross." I said, shaking my head again. He grabbed my hand, and what he said next caught me off guard.

"Clare. You're beautiful." He said softly, and then squeezed my hand. I really looked at him then. It amazed me how his eyes could both scorch and warm, but right now, they were definitely warm. I felt my face heat up at the sight of them, and I mentally cursed myself as I stuttered.

"T-thanks." I said shyly, and he only smiled wider, showing off his perfect teeth. I looked away then, only to stare at the glowing red clip on my index finger. The clip probably matched the hue of my cheeks, but I tried to put that in the back of my mind.

"Do you want to play twenty questions? It'll help pass the time." He suggested, still holding my hand, and it took all I had to think about anything else.

"Y-yeah. Sure." I mumbled, unable to change my thoughts consisting of Eli's hand on mine. I felt a warm feeling, almost like electricity or flowing molten lava, and I felt it far beneath the surface of my skin. The feeling was indescribable.

"You go first." He said, and I pondered about a question I could ask him. I thought of one and put on a smirk of my own.

"Did you ever have braces?" I asked him, and he groaned.

"Yes. My turn." He asked, quickly changing the subject, and my own smirk grew wider. I'd have to save this information for later.

"What's your most embarrassing moment, Edwards?" He questioned, his smirk back. I mentally kicked myself. Because I set myself up for this. I scanned my memory for the worst thing, and quickly found it, groaning just like Eli did.

"Probably when everyone thought I got a boob job." I answered. He pursed his lips.

"Yeah, I heard about that. I hoped it wasn't true." He said, his eyes widening at what he just revealed to me. My eyes narrowed at him.

"You _knew?"_ I asked, shocked, and he only nodded hesitantly, as if I would hit him at any moment.

"Rumors spread quickly." He stated, and I silently agreed with him. I changed the subject.

"Are there any pictures of you when you had braces?" I asked, and he closed his eyes tightly and nodded, looking like he was going to regret telling me this.

"There are a few. But don't even think about it, because I took all of them and hid them, anyway." He said, looking smug. But that didn't faze me.

"I'll find them eventually." I said mischievously, and his smirk faltered.

"My turn." He said quickly, considering a question in his head, squeezing my hand in the process.

"Did you like me before we started dating?" He asked curiously, and I nodded immediately. "How long?" He questioned, and I didn't even care that he asked another question.

"I think I always did. I just didn't realize it right away." I answered honestly. He nodded slowly, taking this in with a slight smile.

"What about you?" I asked him, just as curious as he was.

"This is going to sound cheesy, but… as soon as I saw you, I _knew_ I wanted to make you mine." He told me sweetly with a determined look on his face.

"Awww." I let slip out, my lower lip jutting out a little bit at his sweetness. He chuckled and rolled his eyes; classic Eli. I smiled to myself, and then swiftly leaned over to plant a kiss on his cheek. He turned his head so quick, I didn't even realize he did it. My lips crashed against his, and I felt him smile into the gentle kiss. I pulled away when I heard my new least favorite sound.

_BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP._

The heart monitor sped up, and I cursed under my breath. _"Dammit." _I whispered, pulling back. I didn't need to look at him to know he was smirking. I could feel it.

"Cece and Bullfrog should be here in a couple hours." Eli said quietly, then gave a small cough. I nodded, pursing my lips. I heard a light tapping noise, and I turned to find the culprit. Eli was tapping his fingers on his knee again, nodding and tapping to a beat of his invisible song. He looked up then, and asked another question.

"What's your favorite food?" He asked me, his eyes never leaving my face while I thought about it.

"Hmm… Cheetos." I answered, pretty sure of my answer. I've liked them since I was a kid, my mom would always buy them at the store for me. I'd jump up and down once she came home with the groceries, looking to see if she had gotten me some. I smiled at the memory. I grabbed the water bottle from the bedside table, twisting the cap off and taking a small swig. I glanced at Eli, and he was writing a text. I wanted to know what he was writing, but I didn't want to be nosy. I twisted the cap back on and set the plastic bottle back on the wooden table, rubbing my hands together as the remaining condensation lingered on my palms. He put his phone back in his pocket, and started drumming his fingers again to his invisible song.

"What song are you thinking of, right now?" I questioned, curious as to what the tune would be.

"I honestly don't even know. It's just a… melody that plays in my head whenever I'm… I don't know, _content."_ He answered, and I thought about it before understanding completely what he meant. I'd done that all my life; it was a secret song that only I'd know about, and it was all mine. I wonder if everyone had their own song, their own beat, _something._ Was it just Eli and I? Are we special, in some way? Or was it _meant_ for only us?

"I have one, too." I answered, barely humming the soft tune so quiet, I'm sure that no one else could hear it. Suddenly, I felt my eyes getting heavy, slowly closing, and then opening wider as I tried to stay alert. It didn't go unnoticed by a pair of warm emerald eyes. "I don't know why I'm so tired. All I've done is slept the past few days." I said to the air around me, meant for everyone to hear and understand.

"Your body needs rest to help it get better." Eli told me, rubbing the top of my hand with his thumb. "Take a nap, if you want." He suggested, and it sounded like a very good idea. I made my eyes focus enough to once again see the dark bags underneath his eyes.

"You should take a nap, too." I told him, and he shrugged, watching me as I laid down flat on top of the stiff but comfortable mattress, laying my head on the soft pillow. He closed his eyes and sat back in the chair, still keeping a hold on my hand as his eyes remained shut. Suddenly, a thought came to mind.

"You can come sleep up here with me, if you want. That chair looks uncomfortable." I pointed out, and his eyes opened slowly, focusing on my face as the fatigue showed through them.

"You sure?" He asked, wanting to ask one last time.

"Positive." I said tiredly, scooting over farther to make room for him to lay down. He looked at my hesitantly before getting up and sitting down on the bed, swinging his legs up and laying his head on the pillow next to mine, facing me. He smiled sleepily as I scooted closer into his chest, our feet intertwined.

"_Sweet dreams." _He whispered as I became less and less aware of everything, drifting off into a state of sleep as his words echoed in my tired mind.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The red-headed nurse strode through the door and into the room, only to back out and smile to herself as she saw the two teenagers asleep on the hospital bed. His converse sneakers were intertwined with the injured girl's socked feet, his arm draped over her side protectively as her head laid on his chest. Both of them were breathing in sync, looking so peaceful and young that it brought a certain happiness to her mind. The heart monitor was making a soft beeping noise as it kept track of her heart-beat, calm and dreamy as it beat. She closed the door softly, unable to keep the smile off her face as she continued on to the next room down the hall.

_**End of Chapter 9. **_

**Soooo. Did you like it? Love it? Hate it? Leave me a review, pretty please! This story isn't nearly done yet, but I just want to thank everyone that's been reading and reviewing since the beginning. You guys make me smile all the time, and I've taken into consideration every single idea someone has PM'ed me about. It's really neat to see that people actually like my writing, and that you take the time to leave a nice review. Thanks again, and I love you guys. Well, now that I've probably wasted your precious time, I would just like to say that I'm really psyched for tonight's episode of Degrassi. It's an Eli episode. *SQUEAL* ;)**

**-Macy. **


	10. Do It For Me

**Hey Guyss! Thanks for the reviews from last chapter. Here's chapter 10, it is _by far_ the cutest one yet, I promise. It made me tear up a bit while writing it. So yeah, here it is! Enjoooy. R&R! ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. But, I guess I can add it to my bucket list, haha. **

I awoke to a loud knocking noise on the door, making my head shoot up and meet a pair of eyes that Eli had inherited.

"Clarabelle." Bullfrog said quietly with a smile that only he could make. I flashed him a quick smile before gesturing for him to come sit on the green couch next to the vacant chair.

I glanced at the sleeping boy I was curled up against, and his mouth was open slightly as his eyes moved back and forth under his eyelids, in such a deep sleep that the loud knocking didn't even make him stir. I found a loving grin creep onto my face, and I moved a stray piece of hair from his forehead and tucked it behind more soft, slightly wavy locks. I took note of the protective arm slung casually over my side, and I just wanted to curl up further into his loving embrace, even if he wasn't conscious or aware he was doing it in the first place. I had forgotten Bullfrog was in the room, and my eyes darted to his still but amused-looking form on the couch. He had a small crooked smile on his aging face, and he was watching us with an expression I couldn't place. His eyes changed direction and abruptly met mine, and his smile turned into a smirk as he cleared his throat and shook his thoughts away. I felt a pink hue adorn my cheeks, and I turned my head slightly to glance at the clock. 6:02 P.M. Had we really slept _that_ long? Suddenly, I heard the crinkling sound of a bag, and my head whipped around to the sound. I watched Bullfrog take a small, orange bag out of the pocket of his leather jacket, and he tossed it to me. I eyed the bag with fervor, it bringing back so many good memories.

"Cheetos!" I exclaimed, reaching for the bag and tearing it open, immediately taking in the delicious scent. I didn't know that the smell of artificial cheese could bring back so many memories, but it did. I pictured my mom coming through the door with brown grocery bags in her hands, with her favorite light blue v-neck shirt and her most favored pair of capris pants. Seeing her big brown eyes and her wavy light brown hair in my memories should've made that emptiness return, but it didn't. It gave me this light feeling that I could picture every single detail about her, and that even though she's gone, I can still remember her with clarity. It brought yet another smile to my face, and as I stuck one of the crispy pieces of cheesy goodness into my mouth, I hummed with delight at the familiar taste. "Thanks, Bullfrog." I said after finishing my chewing.

"No problem, Clarabelle." He said with a smirk. But one question was still hanging in my mind.

"Why did you bring me cheetos?" I asked with a strong hint of curiosity, placing another cheeto on my tongue and tasting the cheese on my taste buds. He pursed his lips and seemed to be contemplating revealing something, but then shrugged and answered me.

"Lover boy, here, sent me a text saying to bring you 'em." He said, patting the sleeping boy's foot with a small smile on his face. My smile grew bigger as he stirred a little bit in his sleep, mumbling incoherent words as he buried his head further into the pillow.

"That was rather sweet of him." I told Bullfrog, my smile never faltering as I remembered our game of twenty questions, when he asked what my favorite food was. Did he ask specifically for that purpose? Is that what he was typing a text about? I plopped a couple more cheetos in my mouth, chewing slowly and quietly, careful not to make so much noise so Eli wouldn't stir again. Out of nowhere, I heard light snoring noises coming from him, and I quickly slapped my hand to my mouth to contain the giggles threatening to come out. I heard Bullfrog chuckle loudly, not even worrying about waking him up.

"He gets that from CeCe." He said quietly, putting a hand to shield his mouth from view as if it were a secret. Suddenly a hand came and smacked him on the shoulder, and I giggled as I watched CeCe sit down next to Bullfrog as he rubbed his arm muttering an _'Ow'. _

"So, Clare, how're you feeling?" She asked, shooting Bullfrog a mischievous smile before she said it.

"Pretty good, but that's probably just 'cause I'm on pain meds." I answered honestly, and a louder snoring sound came from the sleeping Eli, but I ignored it and only grinned.

"That's good." Both Bullfrog and CeCe said at the same time, and then whipped their head toward each other and pointed index fingers at each other.

"Jinx!" They both shouted, and then both erupted with laughter, their laughs sounding so different but strangely good together. The light snoring stopped, and my head turned to glance at Eli, only to see his eyes opening groggily, his smirk already in place. I offered him a small smile, and he nuzzled his head into my neck lovingly with a small chuckle, making me laugh. I heard Bullfrog clear his throat, and Eli's head whipped around to look at him, only to nestle his head into my neck like before. Bullfrog groaned and glanced at me with a raised eyebrow, and I only felt my cheeks gain a familiar pink hue as I felt both of Eli's parents' eyes on me. I coughed lightly, making Eli move his head to look at me, his smirk remaining as he moved to lay on his back. His arm still hung casually over my side, and it brought yet another smile to my face for the seemingly millionth time since I woke up. I stuck a cheeto into my mouth, and then Eli spoke, making me realize how much I loved his deep yet entrancing voice.

"Thanks for bringing the chips, dad." Eli said thankfully, a still sleepy smile forming on his face. That reminded me that I still had to thank him, but I didn't have the desire to kiss him while his parents were only a few feet away.

"Yeah, yeah." Bullfrog answered, waving his hand, dismissing the topic. "CeCe, did you bring the other stuff?" He asked, and she nodded, grabbing a container at her feet. She opened it up, and the smell wafted into my nostrils. She smiled at my reaction.

"Eli said the hospital food _'wasn't edible'."_ She said, using her fingers to make air quotations in the air with a smirk. "So, I made you something." She murmured, lifting her head to look inside the container. I glanced inside as well, and I felt my mouth begin to water as I stared at the container of multi-colored pasta with chunks of meat and vegetables.

"You really didn't have to do tha-" I started to say, but she cut me off.

"Of course I did. You're the daughter I never had, Clare." CeCe said with a loving smile, and I smiled, not having had this much daughterly praise in such a long time. Bullfrog nodded, agreeing with her with that Goldsworthy smirk plastered to his face.

"Aww, thanks guys." I said softly, not being able to hold in the _'aww' _coming out of my mouth. CeCe's face suddenly brightened.

"Oh, that reminds me! The doctor recommended that for a few weeks, you have special care. Like, help with showering and such." She said, and my heart immediately dropped. I hadn't even thought about having to go back to my house. "And Eli had informed us that your father wouldn't be able to take care of you because of his demanding occupation." CeCe muttered, and my eyes met Eli's for a brief moment, silently thanking him for not telling my secret. He gave me a reassuring smile and grabbed my hand before squeezing it lightly. "So. We've all discussed this with each other, and we all agree with the decision. Would you like to stay with us until your injuries heal, and you feel better?" CeCe asked, with a giddy, hopeful, and pleading expression.

To say I was shocked, was an understatement. They liked me enough that they'd make an offer like that? I wanted so badly to tell them yes, that I'd live with them, and I'd love to do it. But I couldn't do that. I'd be a huge burden, needing help with this and that. But, I also couldn't leave my dad. I shouldn't just leave my drunk dad in a house alone for days, weeks even. But if I stay there at my house, I wouldn't get the help I needed, and I might even get hurt even further.

I feel conflicted.

And when I glanced at all three of the Goldsworthy's, they all had pleading looks, Eli's being the worst. He knew that if I didn't stay with him, I'd have to go back there. He knew I'd get hurt, that I'd land right back in the hospital again. But I couldn't stay there, I just couldn't.

"I can't." I answered, trying to keep the pained look off my face as I voiced the decision that I'd rather not have chosen. Eli gave his parents a pointed look, and then directed his eyes to the door, and then back to his parents. They got his hint.

"Um… I'm hungry. Come on, Bullfrog, there's gotta' be a vending machine somewhere…" CeCe said, pulling up Eli's dad and practically dragging him out of the room, giving me one last reassuring smile before disappearing behind the doorframe. I faced Eli, and he had a pained expression on his face as he appeared to be thinking about something.

"Clare, if you go back there…" He started, swallowing hard before continuing. "He'll only hurt you worse." He said, glancing to see my reaction, but I kept my face neutral, so he continued. "When I went to pick you up for our date, I heard you… and I knew what was happening in there." He said, gulping. "And when I ran in and saw you there on the floor, I thought you were… _dead."_ He concluded with pain in his tone, his voice cracking on the last word. Tears formed in my eyes as I remembered him screaming my name and telling me to wake up. "I don't want him to touch you ever again. Just, give me the reassurance." Eli said, quickly wiping his eyes with the dark gray sleeve of his shirt, trying to hide the tears trying to escape. I literally felt my heart start to tear, seeing him like this, so worried about me. Wasn't this only supposed to effect _me?_ He shouldn't have to deal with the worry; it's supposed to be _mine. I'm_ the one that should be feeling it. I opened my mouth to speak, but quickly shut it as he gave his closing argument. "_Please. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for _me._" _He whispered, his emerald eyes staring straight into mine. The pleading look that spread across his face filled me with guilt, that I'd caused him this much anxiety.

"_Okay." _I whispered, bringing up my hand to touch his face and brush it softly against his flushed, slightly-tanned skin. His face filled with joyous relief as his arm slung across my side pulled me against him tighter, him burying his face in my neck again.

"_Thank you."_ He whispered against my auburn curls, his voice sounding so relieved, it made me guilty once again. He abruptly pulled his head away from my hair, looking into my eyes. "Clare…" He said, trailing off and tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, seeming to contemplating something in his head. "I love you." He told me, brushing his palm against the side of my face sweetly. I literally heard the heart monitor stutter, faltering for a few beats, and then returning back to normal. I hoped he hadn't noticed, but by the smirk on his face, I had a feeling he had. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was back, and hopefully it was there to stay.

"I love you, too, Eli." I said, my smile beaming as his face mirrored mine. He planted a loving and incredibly sweet kiss on my lips, and when he pulled away, his smile was even brighter than before. I leaned forward to reconnect our lips once again, giving him a chaste kiss before pulling back to look at his handsome face again. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to say that." I told him, and he chuckled.

"The same goes for me, Blue Eyes." He said, and the heart monitor did that fluttering thing, making him laugh yet again. I got a warm feeling in my stomach as I head his pet name for me. He eyed the bag in my hands, snatching it from me and taking a few cheetos, shoving them in his mouth. He smiled at cheesily; literally, his teeth full of the orange powder. I giggled and rolled my eyes slightly at him.

"You totally just ruined the moment." I said, remembering the bowl of pasta at the foot of the bed, grabbing it and taking hold of a spoonful.

"Did not." He said playfully, stealing my spoon full of pasta and taking it up to his mouth. I scoffed and stole it back, glaring playfully at him before he laughed at my failure of intimidation.

"Did too, _pasta thief." _I retorted, and my little nickname only made him laugh harder.

"Are you _really _calling me out on that?" He said with an eyebrow raised, and I only nodded my head.

"Yeah. I am. You stole my pasta." I accused of him, and he scoffed.

"Oh, I am _so_ sorry for stealing your measly spoonful of pasta from that _gigantic_ bowl of it." He said sarcastically, his smirk never leaving his face.

"See, this is why I love you." I told him, burying my face in his chest as I giggled.

"Well, son, at least say it back." I heard a manly voice say from the doorway, and I whipped my head in that direction to see Bullfrog and CeCe, arm in arm, looking in through the doorway with smiles on their faces. I felt that familiar blush creep back onto my cheeks. Eli chuckled at his parents, looking me in the eye.

"I love you too, Clare." He said, placing a sweet peck on my forehead, smiling against it before pulling away.

"Awwww." I heard CeCe gush from the doorway, her hand over her chest.

"_Mom."_ Eli said in annoyance, and Bullfrog and I started laughing again as him and CeCe walked back to their couch near the hospital bed. I didn't move, I just wanted to stay in Eli's arms forever, because I was in love. I didn't think that those words would ever invade my mind, but they did, and it felt oh so good.

"So, Clare, did you reach a decision?" CeCe asked with that same hopeful look in her eyes.

"She said yes." Eli answered, his tone filled with relief. I watched as a smile stretched across her face.

"Excellent." She said, her smile never fading. "So, Clare, did you try the pasta?" CeCe asked expectantly, and I turned to glare at Eli, who was trying to keep his smirk from growing into a mischievous smile.

"Actually, no. Because your son is a pasta thief." I told them bluntly, and every single person in the room laughed. I took the spoon and shoveled some pasta onto it, placing it in my mouth. As soon as it touched my taste buds, my eyes widened. I hadn't had home-cooked food since I ate dinner at the Goldsworthy's a few weeks ago, and it was _delicious. _"Oh my goodness, CeCe, this is _amazing!_" I gushed, taking another spoonful and taking a bite.

"Why thank you, Clare." She said, her smile growing at my facial expression.

"It _should_ be pretty amazing, considering she almost set off the smoke alarm." Bullfrog said snarkily, earning another smack on the shoulder from Eli's mom.

"Did not." CeCe argued, and while they had a heated debate about the condition of the kitchen, Eli turned to me and pressed a kiss onto the tip of my nose.

"I had a pretty nice nap." He said with a smirk, stretching one arm out.

"Me too, I have the best pillow _ever."_ I said, remembering how I laid my head on his chest while I slept.

"Yeah, well, I have the best _girl_ ever." He said, pulling me closer as I laid my head on his chest again.

"Get a room." I heard Bullfrog mutter, which only made Eli's chest move quickly with laughter, making my curls bounce.

"Dad, shut up." Eli mumbled into my hair, making me smile. I pulled away to take another spoonful of pasta, and the look Eli gave me made me giggle as I covered my mouth to keep from choking. I winced as for the first time today, my ribs tugged from the laughter.

"You okay?" Bullfrog asked, and I nodded while my eyes remained shut, waiting for the feeling to subside.

"I'll buzz in for the nurse." Eli told me, rubbing my hand with his thumb as he leaned back to press the red help button. He then got off of the bed gently, careful not to jostle it at all so I didn't have any more pain. He settled in the padded bedside chair, and I immediately missed his proximity, because now he was too far away for my liking. Eli looked like he was having the same thoughts as a knocking was heard on the door, and then the red-headed nurse came into the room. Her eyes went from me to Eli, back and forth, as a smile stretched across her young face.

"Did you two have a nice nap?" She asked with a satisfied smile. The blush adorned my face yet again, only growing darker when Eli answered the question bluntly.

"Yeah. Best sleep I've had all week." He said before shooting a smile in my direction. "She needs another dose." He voiced to the nurse, and she nodded as she left the room to get my medication. My eyes met Eli's for a brief second, then met CeCe's and Bullfrog's humorous ones. I covered my face in my hands as laughter bubbled up from my chest, and then grimaced as the tugging sensation came back. Eli grabbed my hand as the nurse came back in with a small white pill and a dixie-cup full of water. I sat up gingerly as the nurse placed the pill in my hand, and I popped it into my mouth before the nurse handed me the cup of water. I washed the pill down, and the nurse asked if I needed anything else before I thanked her while she grabbed my empty paper cup and walked out the door. I glanced at the clock on the wall, and it read 8:39 P.M. Bullfrog's eyes followed where mine lead, and he looked startled as he stood up quickly.

"Well, Clarabelle, I have a 9:00 o'clock radio show, so I should head out. CeCe, you staying?" He asked her, and she nodded.

"I'll leave in a little bit, I have to get things ready for Clare's stay when she leaves the hospital tomorrow. Bye, hon." She said, standing up on her tippy-toes to plant a light kiss on Bullfrog's cheek.

"See you tomorrow, guys." Bullfrog said, flashing me a smile and pointing a finger at me before leaving. The calming effect of my medication washed over me, and I no longer felt the ugly sensation in my ribs any longer. I hummed in delight at the feeling, taking another spoonful of pasta and then popping another cheeto into my mouth. I turned to look at Eli, and he looked amused as he watched me shovel the small bits of food. I redirected my vision to CeCe, who was busy on her phone, probably sending a message to Bullfrog. I saw Eli glance at the pasta, and realized he was probably hungry, too. I stuck the spoon in the pasta and passed him the bowl, and he took it gratefully as he took a few bites. I nibbled on some of the cheetos as the comfortable silence was something that I needed at the moment, it was quite nice. The only noise to be heard was the chewing of both Eli and I, and the buttons CeCe was clicking as she typed up a text message.

"Well, guys, I've got to go set up for Clare." She said, flashing me yet another smile. "Elijah, I assume you're staying?" She said as she picked up her purse.

"You've assumed correctly." Eli managed to get out through his mouthful of food, and I rolled my eyes at his boyish tendencies. CeCe laughed and put her phone in his purse, getting up from the small, probably stiff couch.

"Bye, Clare, honey." She said before walking around to the other side of the bed, wrapping her arms around me as she whispered in my ear. _"Feel better, baby girl." _She let go of me walked back around the bed, practically had to tear the bowl out of his hands, and engulfed him in a hug. He hugged her back before she pulled away, taking the empty bowl of pasta with her. She then picked up her purse, and headed for the door. But she turned around to face us again.

"Bye, guys. Love you Baby Boy, you too Baby Girl." She said, beaming at us before blowing us a kiss and exiting out the door. I smiled at her new nickname for me, because it matched perfectly with Eli's. It was almost as if she considered me her own child, her own flesh and blood, and she treated me like it. I took the last lone cheeto from the small, orange bag by my side. I crinkled it up after finishing, starting to aim for the trashcan again before Eli's hand caught my wrist.

"I don't feel like taking the walk of shame again anytime soon." He grabbed the bag from my hands with his smirk plastered to his face, and as he got up to throw the empty bag away for me.

"Thanks." I said disgruntled that I didn't get to make my shot at the trash can. He laughed at my expression, then returned back to his seat. Much to my disappointment, he didn't climb back up on the bed to lay with me. His eyes still seemed tired, but looked better than they had this afternoon. I laid down on my side to face him, examining every single aspect of his face. His cheekbones, his jaw line, his cute nose, his cupid's-bow lips, his emerald eyes that held so much depth. He appeared to be doing the same to me, but his eyes stayed at one area on my cheek that was assumedly darker than the rest. I didn't want to talk about the bruise my father left on my face, so I started to talk. "I'm full." I announced, putting my hand over my stomach to prove my point. He looked away to cover his mouth with his hand while he let out a quiet belch.

"Me too." He said, smiling when I rolled my eyes at his burp. I couldn't take the empty space between us any longer, so I scooted back more on the bed to make room. I patted the empty spot with my hand with a smirk of my own, and he laid down on the bed next to me, moving to his side so we were face to face. I giggled before nuzzling into his warm chest, smiling into his shirt as I felt his arm wrap around my side to pull me closer. I inhaled through my nose, and his woodsy scent filled my nostrils. I heard him chuckle softly against my shoulder.

"Did you just _sniff_ me?" He questioned, sounding amused by my action.

"Yep." I answered, sniffing him again to give him some sort of proof.

"Enjoying yourself?" He wondered aloud, his warm breath blowing across the side of my neck, making me shiver slightly.

"Very much." I said happily, snuggling closer to him. A light, content humming noise came from his throat, as if to agree with me.

"Me too." He said, sighing happily as his arm tightened around me, splaying his hand out and tracing invisible patterns on my back.

"That feels nice." I told him, smiling against the fabric of his shirt as I placed my hand on his chest.

"What, this?" He asked, continuing to lightly brush my back with his fingers. I hummed in contentment just like he had earlier, answering his question. We stayed like that for a few minutes, just thinking to ourselves. Is it possible to love someone this much? It was almost overwhelming, like my heart wasn't used to the feeling yet, and it was going to erupt with much-needed happiness any second. That's what I loved the most about him, he made me feel joyous, free, _safe._ He wouldn't dwell on the negatives with me, he would only focus on the positives, anything to keep me happy. I hated how I used to look in the mirror and see dull, crestfallen, gray looking eyes staring back at me. He shed some light on my life, from the moment we became friends, _English partners,_ even. When my mother died and my father started drinking, I thought that this was the end. That my life would never be the same, that I would never be _happy_ again. Eli proved me wrong with his wit, his sarcasm, and his sweetness. He changed my perspective on _everything._

Would I ever be happy again? Would I ever fall in love? Hell, I already am, and it feels amazing.

"I love you, Eli." I mumbled into his chest, loving the way the words rolled off my tongue. It sounded perfect.

"I love you, too, Blue Eyes." He said happily, planting a kiss somewhere in my unruly strawberry blonde hair. "I don't think you know how much." He muttered to me, continuing to trace the patterns on my back.

"I know the feeling." I answered, and turned to press my lips to his shoulder for a second. I pulled back to look at him, and I'm sure that my eyes had the same adoring look in them as he had in his.

"I love you _this _much." He told me cutely, holding his arms apart as wide as he could for the position he was in. I giggled at his child-like actions, leaning up to press my lips to his for a short moment.

"I love you more." I said, almost laughing out loud from the cliché statement.

"I highly doubt that." He told me, smiling down at me.

"I am _positive._" I said with a smile, not giving him a chance to argue again. "I can't wait to get out of here, tomorrow." I stated, unable to keep the smile off of my face. I'm starting to think that my cheeks are permanently stuck like this.

"Me neither. Although, I can't say I won't miss this." He said, rubbing my back lightly with his fingers. "But… I couldn't help but overhear the doctor say that you would need assistance when showering. Can I volunteer?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, but I knew he was just playing with me. I gasped and smacked his shoulder just like CeCe had done to Bullfrog earlier, hearing an _'ow' _come from Eli's mouth.

"Maybe." I replied, Eli knowing I was just kidding with him. He laughed, accentuating the dimples on his cheeks.

"Well, you can't blame a guy for trying. Especially for someone as beautiful as you." He said, kissing the tip of my nose like he'd done earlier. The pink hue was back on my cheeks with a vengeance. I moved my head to press my lips to his, brushing them against his soft lips. He moved them with mine, a low sound coming from his throat as we broke apart a few seconds later. I smiled cheekily before burying my head in his chest again, loving the way his chest moved up and down with each ragged breath from our kiss. "Did I mention how much I love you?" He breathed, making me laugh shortly, accidentally letting out a snort.

"Sorry!" I quickly covered my mouth as his chest bobbed with laughter, and I soon had to join in.

"That was cute." He said, playing with a lock of my wavy hair mindlessly.

"Ha, sure." I uttered into his chest. His converse-clad foot came in contact with my socked one, and he pulled back to kick them off. His warm, sock-equipped feet returned to intertwine with mine, rubbing softly against mine, making me sigh happily at the feeling. Eli leaned back to kiss my forehead sweetly, laying his head on the pillow as we both laid there, thinking about anything and everything. Before I knew it, I heard faint snoring noises right above my head, and I rolled my eyes slightly at his ability to fall asleep so quickly. I couldn't really blame him, though, he had struggled to keep himself awake the last few days. Just this afternoon, he took a much-needed nap, but I'm sure that wasn't enough. He was probably exhausted. I moved to press my lips to his nose like he'd done to me before, giving him a goodnight kiss, even though he was knocked out cold.

"_I love you, silly."_ I whispered to him before returning to nuzzle my head to his chest.

I fell asleep in his arms, my new favorite place to be.

_**End of Chapter 10. **_

**Sooo, did you like it? I sure did. They finally said the three magic words, which makes my heart literally swell with happiness, ahaha. Leave a review please, I love 'emmm. ;)**

**-Emmyyy. **


	11. Always Interrupted

**Hey Guysss, Here's chapter 11, hopefully you'll like it! R&R, Please!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.**

"_I love you, silly."_ I whispered to him before returning to nuzzle my head to his chest.

I fell asleep in his arms, my new favorite place to be.

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I woke up sometime in the middle of the night, not being able to see the clock, even with the soft glow of the hospital lights coming in under the door. A smile made its way onto my face when I felt Eli's arm clutching me to his chest, even in his sleep. I sighed happily into his shirt before I heard what must have woken me up in the first place. My eyebrows pulled together as I moved my head from Eli's chest, listening hard to hear this noise again. I whipped my head back to look at the sleeping boy next to me as I heard him talk quietly in his sleep. I listened intently, hoping he would say something again.

"_No." _He whispered, pulling me closer to him unconsciously. _"No." _He said it louder this time, his head whipping to the side as he appeared to be having a nightmare. I shook his arm softly, but he didn't wake up. _"NO!" _He shouted loudly, making me flinch in his arms as he started to tremble in his sleep. _"Clare, no…" _Softer this time, and I shook his arm with more force, but to no avail. _"You have to wake up." _He mumbled in his sleep, and I could hear the misery laced in his tone, and his head jarred the other way. _"You have to. I love you." _He whispered, his voice cracking even in his nightmare. I glanced at his cheeks, and noticed a single tear leaking out of his closed eye. I wiped it away with my thumb, only to have another one take its place. _"No."_ He muttered under his breath, despair very much evident in his voice. Suddenly he shot up, releasing me from his hold as he sat up straight. His eyes were wide open, glassy and glistening, and he let out a small whimper as he stared at his hands.

"_Eli?" _I stumbled with my words, worried that he was still in a state of his nightmare. His head jerked quickly in my direction, and the look in his eyes were one that I hope I'd never have to see again. It appeared that he was in agony, but not the physical kind. My teary eyes now matched his, and another sad bead of moisture fell as he laid back down and wrapped his arms around me tightly, almost as if he thought I would disappear. _"You're okay." _I told him softly as he cried into my hair, and I rubbed small circles on his back with my palm. His arms moved me closer to him, and I doubt there was any open space between us.

"I-I… I thought you were dead." He mumbled with both relief and sadness.

"I'm fine, see?" I told him, pulling back so he could see me very much alive. "I'm not going anywhere." I told him comfortingly, reassuring both him and myself, that I wasn't leaving or dying on him. _"I love you." _I whispered, taking his shirt and fisting it in my palm as I nuzzled into his chest. I felt his muscles gradually stop shaking, and his warm, quick, shaky breaths ran down my neck, making me shiver involuntarily.

After a few minutes, he replied, _"I love you too. So much it scares me." _He said under his trembling breath, and continued. _"Please don't go back there to your dad after you're better. He'll only break you." _He added sadly, still breathing into my hair. I had to go back there, I couldn't just leave him there. And I certainly didn't want to tell anyone about his abuse. I didn't reply to him, only knowing my answer would make this worse than it already was. We laid there for a long time, it could've been seconds, minutes, but I didn't seem to care.

"_Go back to sleep. I'm here." _I urged gently, and I heard a low groan come from him as his muscles relaxed. _"I love you, Elijah Goldsworthy." _I whispered, and that did it. He mumbled something incoherent, assumedly his returning of the words, as his muscles went limp. He drifted off to sleep quickly, and I wiped a remaining trail of a tear from his cheek. I snuggled into his chest, feeling guilt spreading through my body like a fog. It was my fault he was under this pressure, this _stress_ that I knew I'd been causing. I sighed into his chest, before following in his footsteps, pictures dancing behind my eyelids as I fell into another undisturbed slumber.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Clare. Wake up." I heard a familiar voice ask of me, and my eyes fluttered and blinked open softly, looking around briefly before focusing on a very close pair of green eyes. I saw his cheeks rise up to meet his eyes as he smiled, and I glanced down to his smiling lips before giving him a groggy smile in return. He leaned forward to press a sweet kiss to the tip of my nose, and a low sound reverberated from between my lips as I closed my eyes once again, wanting to crawl back into the peaceful slumber. I heard him chuckle, and I felt a hand rubbing small circles onto my shoulder, making me moan slightly at the feeling. "Stop trying to go back to sleep." Eli told me softly with an amused tone in his entrancing voice, and I opened my eyes slowly when he tucked a curl of hair behind my ear.

"No." I dragged out, disgruntled, only making him laugh again. He stayed silent for a few moments, making me think for a second that he was letting me have the sleep that I desired. But when I felt him brush his lips against mine, I knew that wasn't the case. He moved his lips against my sleepy ones, and I soon leaned forward to add more pressure to this kiss. I felt him smirk against my lips, and he pulled away, making my eyes flutter open for the third time since he'd tried to wake me up.

"'Morning." He greeted playfully, making my comatose dissipate with every passing millisecond.

"What time is it?" I asked, a blush adorning my cheeks, and he looked behind me to the clock on the wall.

"10:15." He replied, and I nodded, nuzzling closer to his warm chest. He chuckled against my hair. "I know, I'm still tired too, Edwards. I have no clue why, though. I slept like a _rock."_ He told me, and my head shot away from his chest to look at him.

"You… did?" I questioned, and I noted no false-looking traces in his eyes as he nodded shortly, looking confused. Did he not remember the episode he had after he woke up in the middle of the night? "You don't remember anything… strange?" I asked him, and he shook his head before raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing other than your _snoring."_ He deadpanned, and I glared at him.

"I do not." I retorted, deciding not to press him on his breakdown in the middle of the night. He was about to argue, when there was a knock at the door. The red-headed nurse peeked her head in the door, and shot me a smile when she saw I was awake.

"Breakfast?" She asked cheerfully, and I nodded when the empty feeling in my stomach was brought to my attention. She opened the door fully, revealing a familiar brown tray, and she carried it over to the swing-out table attached to the bed frame. She maneuvered it so it wouldn't be in the way of Eli. The red-head gave me another dose of my pain medication, much to my relief. She left after asking me how I was feeling, and I eyed the oatmeal on the tray. It appeared to have chunks of peaches amongst the oats, and I was about to reach for the spoon when a quicker hand swooped in to snatch it. I glared at Eli as he took a spoonful of the hot cereal, and was surprised when he jutted out his bottom lips and brought it close to my mouth. Was he trying to feed me?

"You are _not_ feeding me." I said with a small, witty grin, and his expression sank to one of disappointment.

"Why not?" He questioned, clearly pouting. Much to his dismay, I grabbed the spoon from him.

"I can feed myself, Eli. I'm a big girl." I pointed out with a giggle before bringing the spoon to my mouth, raising my eyebrows when the oatmeal turned out to be surprisingly good tasting.

"You're no fun." He muttered with a smirk, and I stuck my tongue out at him as I reached for my drink in a plastic cup on the tray. I peered inside to see orange juice, and I took a gulp of it, the tart yet sweet taste contrasting against the oatmeal. I grinned before taking another spoonful of the slightly cold cereal, and I brought it up to his mouth. He smirked and parted his lips happily, making me giggle as I placed the spoon in his mouth. Eli and I ended up finishing the whole large bowl together, and I swung the table back to its original place near the wall. My stomach felt rather full, and I just wanted to lounge around until it settled. Although, laying here is all I've been doing the past few days, anyway. I pressed my head to the pillow, smiling when Eli followed suit, his smirk in place. He draped his arm delicately over my hip, and I stared at the graphic of his band t-shirt as a light pink hue rushed to my cheeks. With his other hand, he lifted my chin up with his index finger until we were eye to eye. I glanced from his eyes to his smirking lips, smirking myself when he leaned closer to connect our lips in a kiss. It was chaste, innocent and loving, and I smiled into it before moving away to look at him.

"I love you." I said brightly, feeling like I was glowing, and that nothing could stop the shine. He smiled genuinely while rubbing my hip lightly with his fingers.

"I love you too." He replied, before burying his face in my unruly hair. I giggled when I heard him sigh happily, and we must have laid there for at least half an hour before my yawn disrupted our in sync breathing. "Tired?" He questioned, his voice slightly muffled against my collar bone, and I laughed wryly.

"Not really." I lied, not wanting to drift away from this rare moment we were sharing. I just wanted to stay like this forever, but I knew that'd be impossible. Eventually, we'd have to get back to our lives. But I cherished this sweet moment, because it was both calming and heart-racing having him this close to me. I heard Eli yawn against my shirt, and I played with the hair at the nape of his neck while he caressed my side. Soon, his hand stopped, and I looked down to see he had fallen asleep. I smiled, my fingers continuing to play with his dark brown hair. In his sleep, his snarkiness, sarcasm, and his smirk disappeared, leaving him to be this innocent teenage boy, unaffected by anything going on around him. His mouth was open slightly, breathing deeply but lightly as his chest rose and fell with each breath. I don't know how long I watched him, but he looked so calm and light, I couldn't take my eyes off of his sleeping face.

He was my protector, my savior, my match. He was truly perfect. If God wanted me to rescue myself, I'm positive that by sending me Eli, He was giving me the push I needed to start this self-saving. But what if I didn't want to start? What if I wasn't ready? I'd figure it out. But right now, all I wanted was to enjoy and savor this moment with my perfect match, my sleeping savior. And as I closed my eyes and started to drift off into sleep, I saw my guardian angel behind my eyelids. I saw the big brown doe eyes and light chocolate hair of my mother, smiling at me, half of her body engulfed by a cloud. I didn't know whether this was a pre-occurring dream, or a premonition, or something else. But it was the last thing I saw before a different picture started to float inside my dream.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

I woke up when I heard the sharp sound of the door handle turning, and when I lifted my head to see CeCe, I grinned at her. Turning back to Eli for a glance, I saw that he was smiling in his sleep, making my heart warm and my face soon mirrored his.

"Baby Girl, the doctor called my cell phone a little while ago, and he said that they can discharge you from the hospital at 1:00." She told me, coming in the door fully, Bullfrog following suit. I glanced at the clock on the wall, and saw that it read 12:42. "So I'm going to hang out in here while Bullfrog signs some papers, since your father isn't here." She said sweetly, and I calmed my hand from shaking after she said his name. Bullfrog walked over and ruffled my hair with his hand, shooting me a half smile before leaving the room. CeCe sat down on the familiar green couch, another paper bag in her hand. "Did you get the chance to eat lunch yet?" She questioned me, and I shook my head.

"I've been sleeping for a few hours." I explained, and she nodded, grinning while she peered inside the bag to pull out a Burger King wrapper, assumedly containing a cheeseburger. She handed it to me happily. "Thank you so much, CeCe." I thanked her, and she waved it off like it was nothing.

"Bullfrog and I stopped to go through the Burger King drive through, and we picked up meals for you and Baby Boy, but I guess he'll have to wait." She told me, smiling at her sleeping son that had his arm slung across my side. "Thank you." She said to me, which made my eyebrows pull together in confusion.

"For what?" I asked curiously, and she patted my leg with her palm in thanks again.

"For making my Elijah happy." She answered, her eyes getting teary, and she wiped them with her sleeve while she laughed wryly at her emotional self. "I remember a couple years ago, he came home after school smiling like an idiot. I practically had to beat it out of him, but he hold me that he met this girl. That girl was you, Clare." She said happily, and my heart warmed at her words. "When Julia passed away, he was broken. I was beginning to forget what his smile looked like." She muttered sadly. "But ever since he met you, Baby Girl, he's better. He laughs, he smiles, he's _happy."_ She finished, and I blinked back the tears that were beginning to form. I felt Eli's arms tighten around me, and I looked to his face to see his green eyes staring into mine.

I thought he was asleep. But he'd heard the whole thing.

"I should be the one saying thank you." I told both CeCe and Eli, taking a chance and kissing his lips briefly. We parted, and Eli smiled at me brightly.

"What'd I miss?" Bullfrog questioned as he stood in the doorway, a smirk on his face. Eli glared at him, and Bullfrog raised an eyebrow. "Clarabelle is officially dismissed!" He said with a cheesy grin, and soon after his sentence, a nurse came in to unhook me from the heart-monitor and give me a few last tests before saying I could leave. I was asked if I needed a wheel chair, but I shook my head, convinced that I could walk. I limped down the hallway, through the lobby, down the ramp, and into the parking lot, Eli keeping his hand on my lower back for support the whole time. Bullfrog grabbed his keys from CeCe and pulled his car up front so I wouldn't have to walk across the parking lot. CeCe got in the passenger seat of the old black car, and Eli picked me up and gently set me down in the backseat. He shut the door and went around to the other side of the car, sliding in the other side of the seat, and then we were off. Eli smirked at me and gently pulled me into his lap, holding me like a baby, careful not to apply any pressure on my injuries. I turned my head into his chest, looking at him from that angle, and this whole thing felt too good to be true. It was as if I was in a romance movie, because the love and adoration Eli had in his eyes was one that I didn't know anyone could have while in their teenage years. It amazed me how our relationship wasn't like normal teenage love, it felt so _real. _

I snuggled further into his chest, smiling against his shirt as he held me tighter, soft rock music coming through the speakers of the car as we pulled into their driveway. Eli pulled the door handle and set me down gently, getting out of the car and scooping me back into his arms as I giggled.

"You don't have to carry me." I told him, and he only smirked.

"That's no fun." He quoted himself from earlier, and I gave up trying to convince him to put me down. He carried me up his front steps, CeCe holding the door carefully as Eli walked through the door with me in his arms. "Where do you want to lie down?" He asked, looking down at me.

"It doesn't matter to me. Wherever you want. It's _your_ house." I answered, and he smirked, heading for the stairs. "Thank you Bullfrog and CeCe!" I called as Eli carried me upstairs.

"No need to thank us, sweetie!" CeCe called back, and I heard Bullfrog's booming laughter as we disappeared up the steps. Eli carried me into his room, and gently sat me down on the bed, laying behind me and pressing his stomach to my back.

"Do you want to change your clothes? I can lend you a shirt." He offered, and I looked down at my dirty, smudged shirt.

"Is it okay if I shower first, though?" I asked him, and he didn't answer. "Eli?" I questioned.

"Um… it's just that the nurse said you'd need help showering." He reminded me, and I groaned.

"If I take a _bath_, I won't _need_ assistance." I pointed out, hoping that I'd found a loophole.

"I guess you have a point." He mumbled against my shirt, letting me go and kissing my shoulder before getting up. He walked into the hallway, and came back with a towel and a washcloth. I sat up, and immediately felt the stiffness of the wrappings around my torso. I lifted up my shirt to glance at the bindings, and found the end of it and started to tug. A grimace turned my face down at the pain, and Eli set the towels on his bed at the sight of me. "Do you want me to help you with those?" He asked, and I nodded hesitantly as he helped me up onto my feet. I held my arms up, and he hiked my shirt up until it was right below my bust-line. He tugged at the bandage wrapped around me, and muttered a quiet sorry as I flinched at the sensation. He was careful as he unwrapped the bandages, the tight feeling gone after he removed them completely. I glanced down at my stomach, closing my eyes again as I saw the lumpy purple and black bruises, some of them fading to a sick green color. I heard Eli sigh unhappily as he assumedly saw the discolorations too, and he kissed my forehead as he reached behind me to get the towels.

He guided me out the door and into the bathroom, starting the bathwater as it rushed into the tub. He stood there awkwardly before handing me the towels.

"I'll, um… wait outside the door until you're finished." He said, turning to walk out the door. He stopped and turned around suddenly, his smirk apparent. "And, if you need help, please, feel free to let me in." He said, wiggling his eyebrows and winking at me. I smacked his arm, grinning, before pushing him outside the door, careful not to tug on my ribs. Once the door was shut, I took the opportunity to take a good, hard look at myself, something I hadn't had the chance to do. My hair was flat, but the curls were still bouncy. My face was normal, other than the fading bruise on my cheek, and my knees were skinned but scabbing over. I undressed and stopped the water at the appropriate height, wincing when I grabbed the sides of the tub to lower myself into the warm water. Once I was fully in, I sighed in relief. I eyed the lavender shampoo, smiling at how CeCe is always prepared. I grabbed it rubbed it into my hair, rinsing it out after rubbing soap on my body. It felt good to get off all of the grime and sweat, but now I was faced with the painful job of getting out of the tub. I braced myself on the sides and tried to lift myself, groaning loudly at the agony ripping through my stomach when I ended up on my knees in the water.

"You okay?" Eli called through the door, hearing my painful groan.

"Yeah." I yelled back, wincing severely when I somehow got myself up onto my feet. I grabbed the shower wall as I stepped out from the tub, grimacing and wrapping a towel around myself.

"You sure?" He called through the door sounding worried.

"Eli. I'm fine." I assured him, laughing slightly. I took a smaller towel and dried my hair until it was only slightly dampened, and used it to dry myself off as well. I put on a pair of underwear and a bra, and then threw my head back and groaned softly when I had no shirt or pants. "Eli?" I yelled.

"Yeah?" He called back, and I heard rustling outside the door as he stood up. I opened the door a crack so only my head peeked out and met his eyes, and I felt my face heat up as I asked him this. "Can you… um, bring me a shirt and a pair of boxers or something?" I asked him, and he smirked as he held up his index finger, signaling me to wait as he went back in his room. He came back with a black Dead Hand t-shirt and a pair of grey basketball shorts, and I smiled at him before saying a small thanks and closing the door. Before slipping on Eli's clothes, I stared at my swollen and discolored stomach, and I brushed my finger across one area and winced. I slipped on his shorts, careful not to bend my body too much before I slipped the t-shirt over my head. I ruffled my hair before I opened the door, my dirty clothes in hand. Eli smirked and looked me up and down, making my face adorn a dark pink hue again.

"You look cute." He commented, his smirk never leaving his face. I bit my lip and redirected my eyes, making him chuckle lightly before putting his hand on my lower back to guide me back into his room. I tried not to move my hips too much, because the movement made my torso tense, guaranteeing pain.

"Can you put the bandages back on, please? It hurts." I told him, grimacing as I sat down on the edge of his bed.

"I'm not sure how to do it, exactly… I'll go ask CeCe." He said, pecking me on the forehead before disappearing behind his doorframe. For the first time, I noticed very light bruising on my wrists, and I looked away, the thought of my father holding me down against the floor making my stomach turn in knots. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and CeCe stepped into the room, smiling at me when Eli followed suit. I stood up, Eli darting over to the bed to help me. He lifted my shirt until it was just below my bra, smirking when he saw the blush on my cheeks. CeCe's eyes widened when she saw my stomach, but Eli gave her a pointed look and then returned to normal. Then she got to work with the bandages.

"I'm sorry if it hurts, Baby Girl." She told me when I winced half way through, and I insisted that it was fine. When she was finished, she patted my shoulder after I thanked her for her help. She waved her hand as usual, signaling it wasn't that big of a deal. Eli thanked her as well before she went back downstairs.

"Is it okay if I take a shower, quick?" He questioned, and I nodded immediately.

"Of course. This is _you're_ house." I reminded him again, and grinned before pressing a sweet peck on my lips. He grabbed a change of clothes and a couple towels.

"I'll be really quick." He promised, and then he was gone. I immediately missed him, but then convinced myself I was being silly. I'd been with him the past few days constantly, why should I miss him now? I took a few minutes to really take a good look at his bedroom, eyeing the band posters on the wall with a small grin. A Day To Remember, Bless The Fall, Escape The Fate, Dead Hand, and many more adorned his room, and there was barely any walls visible. I noticed he's cleaned a little bit, and everything was placed in its own box. There were only a few articles of dirty clothing on the floor, but what do you expect for a guy's bedroom? I laughed when I saw a line of pictures from a photo booth, Adam and him making goofy and serious faces all the way down the row. I laid down on the bed, resting my slightly damp hair on his pillow as I surveyed his room. A loud _bang_ came from the direction of the bathroom, followed by a curse word, and I laughed at the fact of Eli hurrying so much he ended up falling.

The bathroom door opened a minute later, the light from it pouring out into the hallway and then clicking off as Eli strode out of there and back into his bedroom. I giggled at his messy hair, remember how it had looked when he took a shower when I had last been here before my 'accident'. He smirked at me before shaking it around, only making it worse.

"Miss me?" Eli asked playfully as he draped his towel over his desk chair, dropping his dirty clothes into a tall laundry basket.

"Definitely." I answered truthfully, and he gently laid on his back next to me. He turned his head to face me, grinning when I laughed at him.

"So… what do you want to do?" He questioned, his grin still in place.

"I don't know…" I trailed off, leaning over gingerly and connecting our lips. He tensed in surprise, making me smile against his mouth, but he soon loosened up and nudged me onto my back. He turned his body, never disconnecting our lips, making me lay down flat to assure that I was comfy. I brushed my lips over his, and he made a low noise in his throat before slipping his tongue into my mouth, grinning against me.

"Oh! Um… Baby Boy, your dad and I bought you a burger for lunch earlier…" I heard CeCe say awkwardly from the door, and we broke apart from the kiss, burying my face in his chest in embarrassment. Eli got up to retrieve the bag, saying something about 'knocking' to his mom before she left, leaving the door open a crack. He sat back down on the bed, setting the fast-food bag on his bedside table before turning back to me. He chuckled at my blushing cheeks.

"C'mon, Clare, it could've been worse." He pointed out, only making me raise an eyebrow at him in question. He smirked before reconnecting our lips, only kissing me for a few seconds until his stomach growled hungrily, both of us immediately stopping our movement and laughing against each other's lips.

"Eat." I told him, pulling back to lay down while he pouted when he grabbed the bag from his bedside table.

"I always get interrupted…" He said disgruntled, making me giggle as he bit into the burger, closing his eyes as he tasted it, only making me laugh again. I watched as he devoured the whole thing, crinkling up the bag and wrapper and throwing it into his trash can skillfully, giving me a smug look when my mouth was agape.

"What? I've had lots of practice. I'm lazy." He defended, making me roll my eyes at him. Surprisingly, he didn't try to kiss me again, he only shaped himself to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, playing with a damp curl of my hair. But then a thought came to my mind, making me realize that this happy glow radiating from me wouldn't last long.

"You know, I'm going to have to go back to my house to get clothes…" I trailed off, making him sigh unhappily.

"I know, I've thought about it. I'm going in there with you." He told me, making my muscles relax, giving me a calming effect. However, his hand that had been playing with my auburn curl of hair was now on my shoulder, rubbing tense but soothing circles on my shoulder blade. "When do you want to go?" He asked hesitantly, already knowing my answer.

"Can we go now? Just to get it over with?" I pleaded with him, and he sighed before nodding and agreeing with me unsurely.

"Fine. But, I'm going in with you. I want to make sure you're safe." He reminded me, and I nodded, smiling before placing a light peck on his chest, hearing him sigh when I did so. He got up, helping me sit up on the edge of the bed while he slipped on a pair of Vans sneakers. He handed me a pair of socks and my old gray converse, helping me put them on before lifting putting his hands under my knees and back, lifting me into his arms as he carried me out of his room.

"You know, you don't have to carry me. I can walk." I defended myself, laughing as we were halfway down the stairs.

"Aw, but that'd ruin my fun." He replied snarkily, making me giggle again. When we were all the way down the steps, I smiled as CeCe and Bullfrog were lounging on the couch watching TV, his arm around her, her head on his shoulder. They both redirected their attention to us, Bullfrog laughing at the sight of me in his arms, making me blush yet again.

"Did you guys have fun up there?" He questioned, trying to hold back a grin, but failing miserably as his laughter erupted from his mouth. His question only made me blush harder, and Bullfrog earned a smack on the arm from CeCe, something that seemed to happening a lot with the two.

"Dad." Eli groaned, still smiling jokingly, making both his parents laugh. "We're going to go pick up some clothes for Clare. We'll back in a little bit." He explained before getting waved off, and we stepped through the front door and onto the porch, the sun making the porch cast a large shadow against his green lawn. My blush insisted on staying, much to my dismay. Eli was still grinning, shaking my head when he looked at me, looking ashamed of his parents. I giggled as he brought me to the passenger side of Morty and opened the door, setting me down gently in the passenger seat before closing the door and running around to his side. He fished the keys out of his pockets before opening the door and climbing in, starting the hearse and listening to the familiar grumbling sound of the engine as he backed out of the driveway. It was silent for a minute before he turned on the radio, letting me decide which station I wanted to listen to. I settled on Eli's favorite rock station, smiling when I saw him nodding to the music, smirking.

The song ended a couple minutes later, and I looked out the windows to view the surrounding. I tensed when I saw we were close to my house, and I felt Eli grab my hand while we turned onto a side road, only a few streets away from my personal hell. A minute later, I saw the green sign saying my street name, and Eli's jaw clenched as we turned. Everywhere, my muscles were shaking and then tensing.

And as the roof of my house came into view overtop of a tree, I silently prayed to a God I didn't know I believed in, that my dad's cruiser wouldn't be in the driveway.

_**End of Chapter 11. **_

**Ooooh, cliffy alert! haha. Leave a review and tell me what you thought of this chapter? Please? (: **

**So, like many other writers on this website, I might now update my stories as much after this week. Unfortunately, summer has come to an end, and I have to go back to high schoooool on September 1st. :/ Grrrff. So, yeah, I'll try to update as soon as I can, possibly next week?**

**-Emmy.**


	12. Get Out

**Heeere's Chapter 12! Sorry it took sort of long to write... school started again last week, much to my enjoyment.**

**So, lots of drama and fluff in this chapterrr. Brace yourself; I cried multiple times, I went 'Awhh' a lot tooo. So yeah, here it is! Hopefully you'll enjoy it! R&R!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

Eli squeezed my hand as we got closer to my house, tracing calming circles on the top of my hand, a habit he'd formed whenever I was anxious. My house appeared from behind the tree, and I blew out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding when the driveway was clear of any vehicles. If his car was there, we'd have to hold this trip out for longer, which I certainly didn't want to do. Eli offered me a small smile as he pulled over across the street and stepped on the breaks, shutting off the hearse. I returned his smile with a slight grin, and turned to the handle on the door, about to pull it open and get out. Before I got the chance, he put his hand on my arm, making me turn around to look at him. He held up one finger, smirking, before opening his door and running around the front to get my door for me. I looked up at him as I turned sideways, putting my feet on the ground as he smirked down at me. I winced as I stood up, my ribs making the familiar tugging pain. Before I knew what was happening, Eli gently picked me up bridal style, holding me close to his chest as he shut the car door and continued towards my house.

"You don't have to carry me everywhere." I stated with a small smile tugging up at the corners of my lips. When he stepped onto the front step, he spoke.

"It's no problem. I don't want you to be hurting." He told me sweetly, delicately placing me on the top step as I told him where I hid the spare key. He reached up, grabbing the key from the very top of the doorframe, and I couldn't help but notice his dark navy blue v-neck ride up a little bit. I blushed as a small glimpse of his stomach peeked out. My thoughts were interrupted. "You know… this is the first time I've ever been in your house. Alone. In your room." He pointed out, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, and I giggled at his attempt at making me feel better about coming back here. He put the key in the lock, the door opening with a soft creek. He picked me up from the cement step, cradling me as he stepped into my house, closing the door with his foot, facing the door as his eyes bore into mine.

"Can you set me down, please?" I asked him, shooting him a pleading look, and he sighed before setting me on my feet. My converse hit the hardwood floor lightly, making me glance around, making my eyes water as I surveyed the living room.

There seemed to be an empty bottle of alcohol everywhere my eyes landed. Bottles were standing up on the floor, some empty, some containing some sort of liquid. Bottles of _Southern Comfort_ laid on the couch, and many more covered the surface of the coffee table. I limped over there to clean up a few of the bottles on the table, when a picture frame caught my eye. It was a picture of my mother, peeking up at the camera from behind her eyelashes, the picture being taken while she was seemingly laughing at the person. A tear dripped down my cheek as I picked it up, tracing her face with my fingers, not satisfied when I felt the smooth surface of the picture and not her light-toned skin. Then it all clicked.

Did my father still miss her? Did he still think of her, even if he was consistently drunk every chance he got? It hadn't even crossed my mind before this. I had always thought he was too intoxicated to care about her, about me, about _anything._ But seeing this picture here, surrounded by all of these brown and clear bottles, gave me a feeling I couldn't explain. I couldn't describe it even if I tried. It made the tears fall faster, streaming down my cheeks and leaving a trail of moisture as I tucked the picture frame under my arm, picking up bottle after bottle, and taking fervent steps to the kitchen. When I made it to the trash can, I dumped all the bottles, holding the frame still as I turned around. The island in the middle of the kitchen was littered with papers, bottles, and glasses with small traces of lingering liquid. I strode over to the counter, plucking up bottles amongst the mess, when a paper moved and the corner of a photograph peeked out. My eyebrows furrowed as I set the bottles down once again, sliding the picture out from under the piles of papers.

The photograph made me smile and cry at the same time; it was a picture of Darcy and I, smiling with our arms across each others shoulders as we stood out by the lake of our summer camp. My hair was shoulder length and wavy, my blue eyes being out in the open for everyone to see as I showed off my new contacts. Darcy's hair was in a pony tail, her bangs being left out, her smile so big as she side-hugged me. My smile reached my eyes, and I laughed quietly as I saw our yellow camp shirts with crosses on them. I must've been about 13, Darcy around 15 or 16. This was the summer before my mom died, before everything spiraled out of control. Footsteps trailed behind me across the kitchen floor, coming to a rest when they came to stand next to me. One hand rested on my lower back, and I turned to Eli, sniffling and wiping my tears. He pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around my back as I did the same to hug him back. He rubbed my back soothingly as I sniffled once again into his shirt. The tears silently fell down my face, absorbing into the cotton covering his shoulder.

"It's okay, Blue Eyes. Let's just go up to your room and pack so we can get out of here." He suggested comfortingly, making me nod against his chest, pulling apart and taking his hand in mine. I led to the stairs, going up the steps carefully as to not jar too quickly. I twisted the doorknob of my bedroom door, my light purple walls filled with a few band posters here and there. I waited for Eli to make a comment, but surprisingly he never did. I grabbed an _Adidas_ duffle bag out of my closet, taking clothes off of the hangers and set them on my bed. Eli sat down on my bed, watching me pack up my clothes and surveying my room. I saw him smirk when he saw the Dead Hand poster, making me smile slightly.

"I like your room." Eli pointed out bluntly, making me turn around raise my eyebrows.

"Eli Goldsworthy just said he likes my girly room. Where's a recording device when I need one?" I said snarkily, just wanting things to go back to normal. I went to my drawer to pick out several pairs of shorts, capris, and a few pants. He laughed, standing up and wrapping his arms around me from behind, making the warm tingly feeling envelope me in all its glory.

"_Your room matches you." _He told me in my ear, leaving a soft peck on the side of my neck. _"I love you." _The light kiss made me shiver, and Eli backed up smugly. I didn't turn around, I knew that the warm blush now covering my cheeks and neck would just boost his ego.

"I love you, too." I told him, still not meeting his eyes for the sake of his growing smugness. I turned sideways and grabbed my laptop from my desk, stuffing it into a tote bag. My cell phone charger went in with it, and then I grabbed a few extra things that I could do while I was over there.

"All done." I said happily, smiling at him as he took my large duffel bag from the bed.

"I'll be right back, I have to put this in the back of Morty." He told me, pecking my cheek from the side as he left the room.

**Eli's POV:**

I was putting Clare's duffel bag in the back of the hearse when a car drove up, slowing down in front of Clare's house. My eyebrows furrowed as they went in reverse, parking in the driveway. What was this person doing? When a stumbling middle-aged man stepped out from behind the wheel, I froze with fear.

Her dad.

Clare was still in her room. She couldn't run, she was hurt.

Oh my fucking god.

**Clare's POV:**

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and confusion swept over me when I saw it was Eli.

_Clare, you need to get out of there. Now. -Eli_

Right when I finished reading his sentence, I heard the front door open. "Claaare?" A voice called from downstairs, the voice making my mind go numb and my muscles stiffen. I scrambled to get in my walk-in closet, leaving the door open a crack while I painfully got down on the floor and curled up next to the wall. My phone vibrated again and again until I realized someone was calling me. I picked up quietly.

"_Eli."_ I whispered in fear, listening for any signs that my father knew I was home.

"Clare? Clare, are you okay? Listen, you have to get out of there." He said, sounding like he was in a panic, sometimes stumbling over his words.

"_I can't."_ I squeaked into my cell phone, whimpering when I heard my father call my name, slurring.

"I'm coming in to get you." He stated with determination, which only made my blood run cold.

"_Eli, no, please." _I cried quietly into the receiver. Loud, fumbly footsteps echoed loudly through the almost silent house. I heard the TV in the living room click on, and I sighed in relief that the house wasn't in complete silence any longer.

"Clare-" Eli started.

"_Eli, listen to me. You don't need to rescue me. I'm hiding in my closet, I'll wait till the coast is clear." _I said under my breath, it hitching when I heard clumsy footsteps coming up the stairs. _"I love you, okay? Trust me. I'll be out of here soon. Bye." _I spoke quietly into the phone, trying to keep my voice from shaking as I hung up before he could say anything. I didn't want to worry him, I needed to make it sound like everything was okay, and that my dad didn't just reach the top of the stairs. The closet door was open a crack, allowing me to see my entire room through the thin strip of light streaming into the dark air of the closet. I slapped my hand over my mouth to keep myself from breathing loudly, the tears streaming down my cheeks as I heard my bedroom door creak open.

"Claaare?" He called out, like this was game of hide and seek. He had a bottle wrapped in a paper bag in his hand, bringing it up to his lips and glugging it down as he looked on the other side of my bed, searching for me. I stayed as still as possible, huddled in my closet, trying to muffle the sound of my frantic breathing. My heart was pounding, making me fear that he could hear the soft thudding of it.

_Lub dub. Lub dub. Lub dub. Lub dub. Lub dub. _

It was echoing in my ears, filling my senses. This was like some horror movie, where the frightened and bleeding victim is hiding the closet, crying her eyes out while the masked murder is searching for her. Well, part of it was true. My father was wearing a mask, a mask of alcohol, lies, and sadness, his veil covering who he really was. All of this crossed my mind in a matter of seconds, thought after thought filling my head as I stayed absolutely still. I watched my father search for me, the air around me thick with suspense, making it hard to breathe. My breathing stopped altogether when he walked towards the closet, standing in front of the door and staring intently at it. I wanted to move closer to the wall, but that would only stir noise, assuring my fate.

I closed my eyes and waited for it, Eli filling my thoughts instead of this fear freezing my insides. His laugh, his witty comments, his sweetness, his kindness, his kisses, his dark brown hair, his strength, his sarcasm, his determination to make me happy. All of it flashed through my mind, making this hair-pulling suspense easier to bare. I opened my eyes expecting to see my father's legs still standing there contemplating opening the closet door, but I never did. My vision met an empty room, an open door, and _no father. _I stayed there, feeling my muscles unwinding and becoming less tense. I waited and listened, only to hear my dad's door slam down the hall. It took me a few seconds to digest this, but then I took my chance. I quietly opened the closet door, grimacing while standing up and limping over to my open bedroom door. I peeked out into the hall, only to see a closed wooden door; better yet, with my father behind it. My converse crept across the wooden floor, going down the first few steps carefully. Right then, the front door opened, and there stood an anxious and scared looking Eli. He looked relieved to see me, and he rushed over to the stairs, and I froze when the floor creaked when he put his foot down. Our eyes met, and we both moved quickly. I scrambled to get down the steps as fast and as silently as I could, when at the bottom Eli picked me up bridal style and carried me out the door quickly. He ran with me, hugging me close to his chest until we got to Morty. He didn't bother going around to the other side, he opened the driver's side door and sat down quickly, moving me to lay down and speedily laid my head on his lap while he started the car. He sped off down the street, the hearse making a loud vrooming noise as it accelerated.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly once we turned off of my street, playing with the neckline of my dark borrowed t-shirt.

"I'm okay." I reassured him, still a little bit shaky. Like I said before, it was like a scary movie. Like how the director of the screening decided that the perfect moment for the masked man to come back to the house was when the girl was alone, was vulnerable and scared. It was still unreal; out of all the times my dad could come home, he had to get here when I was by myself. I didn't get it. Did fate have some kind of telepathy between us? What were the chances of him coming when I was there alone? Certainly very slim. But I guess I shouldn't be thinking about this. It's over, Eli's not hurt, and that's all that mattered to me.

"What happened?" He asked quietly as we drove onto another street. That anxious feeling came back.

"I-I, um… I hid in my closet. He kept calling and slurring my name, looking for me. He stood in front of the closet door, just staring, so I closed my eyes and waited for him to open the door, but he never did. He went into his room and shut the door, so I snuck out of my room. Then you came." I finished, my last sentence justifying the last two years and that he'd saved me more than just this one time.

"Well I'm glad you're okay. That really scared the shit out of me." He admitted as he pulled into his driveway, parking and stopping the car. I sat up, wincing and leaning my head on his shoulder. Raindrops started falling, making light plunking noises as fell onto the windshield. It started precipitating more until it was a light rain, the drops making pattering sounds as it hit the hearse. Eli put his arm around my shoulders, turning his head to lightly peck my forehead. "Are you going to tell someone about your dad?" He asked quietly, his voice soft, like he didn't want to upset me. I looked down and stared at my hands as I fiddled with them, this topic not exactly my favorite to think or talk about.

"I don't know." I answered truthfully, twisting my purity ring on my finger. Which only reminded me that I almost had one of the last things I had left taken away from me.

_I clenched my eyes shut as he dragged me into the living room by his strong hold on my hair, and he slammed me down on the ground as he stood over and watched as I writhed in pain on the floor. The pain was unbelievable, I couldn't believe my eyes as he leaned down and started to unbutton my shorts. My eyes widened as he smiled creepily down at me. "NO!" I screamed over and over again as he pinned my wrists down with one hand. He stopped trying to undo the zipper on my shorts, and he swung his hand back and slapped me hard across the face. "SHUT THE HELL UP!" He yelled in my face, the smell of the alcohol on his breath wafting into my nostrils, making me cringe. _

The memory felt like a blow to the stomach, making the air whoosh out of me, the tears stinging my eyes as I tried to hold them back.

"Clare? What's wrong?" Eli said in a panic, his eyes wide as he watched me. I crossed my arms over my chest, hugging myself.

"I've been keeping something from you." I said quietly, staring as the rain drops left trails on the windshield of the hearse. I heard him sigh.

"Whatever it is… you can tell me." He said, rubbing my upper arm with his hand that was carefully slung across my shoulders. I looked straight ahead to the windshield, the pitter patter of the rain somehow making this easier to tell him the truth.

"Before you found me and took me to the hospital… my father, h-he was drunk, and he tried t-to…" I stopped, not wanting to say the words. "He tried to rape me." I gritted out slowly, still staring ahead, but closing my eyes as the statement filled the empty air of the hearse. Eli's hand that was rubbing my arm a few seconds ago, tensed against my skin and clenched into a fist. My heart sped up as I saw his knuckles turn white, the color all to familiar.

"Did he do it?" He asked slowly, it was obvious he was trying to keep his anger under control.

"N-no. I kneed him in his personal area." I pointed out to him, offering a tiny smile, trying to break the tension. However, he didn't even crack a smile. His eyes were scorching, the anger like rays coming out from him. I scooted over until I was on the passenger side of the bench, staring at his fist with wide eyes. "E-Eli, please calm down." I pleaded quietly, the rain pouring outside and hitting the windows with more force. He turned to me, his eyes full of fire.

"How the _fuck _am I supposed to calm down, Clare? He tried to break you!" He raised his voice, his fists clenched tight against his sides. I gulped, the familiar stinging behind my eyes returning.

"He was drunk,-" I started.

"EXACTLY! HE WAS DRUNK! JUST BECAUSE YOUR FREAKING MOM DIED DOESN'T GIVE HIM THE RIGHT TO DRINK ALL THE TIME AND BEAT AND TRY TO RAPE HIS OWN _DAUGHTER!"_ He shouted loudly with fury. I scooted as far away from him as possible, sobbing noises racking through my chest, making me shake as the sad and hurt tears fell down my cheeks. I reached behind me and fumbled with the door handle, more tears pouring out as I pulled it, pressed so hard against the inside of the door than I almost fell out backwards. Cold drops of water fell onto my skin, mixing with my hurtful tears as I slammed the door.

I can't believe he said that.

I briskly walked up the front walk, not caring that my ribs tugged with every step, the pouring rain stinging as it pelted against the skin of my arm. A sob erupted from my mouth as I turned the doorknob, opening it and taking off my shoes, wanting to be alone. I limped up the carpeted stairs, whipping my tears from my face with one movement of my hand. My wet, sock-clad feet walked across the wooden floor of the hall, entering the bathroom and slamming the door hard. The shower handle stared me in the face, and I twisted it, water pouring out of the spout and into the tub, going down the drain. I sank down to the floor into a crumpled ball, the sound of running water muffling my cries.

Why did he say that? Didn't he know it would hurt?

I still felt the sting of his words, repeating themselves over and over to myself in my mind, clutching my soaked black t-shirt that smelt of him. I wanted to rip it off, to whip it across the room and grind it into the ground with my foot. But the anger didn't cover up the familiar feeling of loss I felt. I missed my mother more than ever.

I missed her warm brown eyes, her gentle nature. I missed how when she giggled, she would accidentally snort, her eyes widening and then slapping a hand to her mouth before laughing even harder. How she always knew what to say, what to do. How she would hug me when I cried, telling me that whatever happened would get better. I couldn't even say that now. I miss how she would watch movies with me, making comments in my ear, making me laugh. How she was always up before I was so she could make me breakfast. How when I was little, she would read me a section of the bible every night before bed, by orders of my father. How she always loved me, no matter what I did or how mad I made her sometimes.

I missed her so much. I missed absolutely everything about her.

Someone knocked on the bathroom door. "Baby Girl?" CeCe called through the door. I sniffed and kept my voice from shaking.

"I'm in the shower." I yelled to her.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" She asked me, concerned.

"I'm fine." I lied, and she didn't reply back. But I heard her talking to someone in a hushed tone outside the door. I glanced at the tub, the water still running, and I realized that the water had probably been running for long enough. I turned the handle, curling back up on the floor, the salty tears still leaving sad and mournful trails on my cheeks.

"Clare?" Someone called through the door, pounding their fist on it a few times. I didn't answer, I knew who it was. "Clare, you have no idea how sorry I am." Eli told me, his voice full of remorse.

"Go away." I told him angrily, a sob clawing it's way up my throat after I choked out the words.

"Clare, I'm sorry." He apologized again, sounding miserable. I didn't answer, the sadness of missing my mother overwhelming my senses. "Can I come in?" He asked, jiggling and twisting the doorknob, making my anger bubble up.

"GO. AWAY." I yelled angrily, his entire presence pissing me off. He knew his words would hurt me, so why'd he say them?

"Let me in." He pleaded, still shaking the doorknob. I swear my vision turned red with fury.

"GET THE FUCK _AWAY _FROM ME!" I screamed at him through the door harshly, a loud sob coming soon after. I didn't think I was capable of using such a cruel tone, but I proved myself wrong as I hugged myself tighter on the bathroom floor.

"Clare, please." He begged, sounding pained. He jiggled the doorknob for a second.

"Leave me alone." I sobbed to him, sick and tired of yelling at him to go away. I stood up and wiped my tears, taking a glance at my stained black cheeks in the mirror before unlocking and opening the door angrily. My red, puffy eyes met his teary ones as I limped past him, taking angry and fervent steps into his room. I crawled onto his bed, huddling into the farthest corner against the wall. I hoped that by some miracle he wouldn't follow me, that he would give me my own space. I noted that today wasn't my day when I heard him walk hesitantly through the door and into his room. The sobs had turned into light tears, which were relentless and constantly falling. There was movement on the bed, and I felt his hand on my shoulder. I shook it off quickly.

"I'm so sorry, Clare." He told me again, and when I said nothing in return, he continued. "I was a dick, I know. The biggest dick in the history of dicks, probably. What you told me… it just made me explode. It was painful to even _imagine_ him taking that away from you. I wasn't thinking right when I yelled at you like that, I'm really sorry." He said sincerely, making a fraction of my anger disappear. "Will you forgive me?" He asked quietly. I flipped around, grimacing while I did so, facing him. He had a few tears on his cheeks, as did I. His arms opened, offering me a warm embrace, and I gladly took it. My anger was gone; just like how my drunk father couldn't control his actions, Eli couldn't control his anger towards him. It just hurt that he'd brought up my mother, like she was to blame for all of this. He kissed the top of my head while I buried my face in his chest, a few tears straggling, but not many.

"I'm sorry for being mean to you." I said into his chest, and he squeezed me tighter.

"Don't be. I deserved it." He spoke into my hair, which was still dampened from the rain.

"I'm still sorry." My head pulled back to look at him, offering him a small smile. He smirked in return.

"I'll forgive you on one condition." He said in a mischievous tone, and I mentally cringed.

"What?" I asked him hesitantly, and he chuckled.

"Kiss me." He said as if it were obvious, and he smirked before my smiling lips lifted up to his. I kissed him softly, about to pull away when he inched his lips forward, not letting me pull apart from him. But I couldn't complain. I smiled softly in the kiss before closing my eyes and moving my lips with his. My free hand reached up and cupped his cheek as our lips moved fluidly. His tongue brushed across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, letting his tongue slide in between my lips. Our tongues moved together as his free hand reached up, running his fingers through my damp, curly hair. He pulled away for a second, and our eyes bore into one another's as he pushed me to lay down on the bed, moving to hover over me. I smiled shyly at him before wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him down to my mouth. He smirked as our lips crashed together softly, Eli using the hand that wasn't holding him up to rest on the side of my hip, gently moved his hand under the hem of my shirt up about an inch. His hand came in contact with the skin of my stomach that wasn't covered with the bandages. His soft fingers gave me a tingling feeling in my brain, the molten magma feeling moving under my skin slowly and surely. My fingers pulled the bunches of hair on the back of his neck softly, and I heard a low sound come from his throat as he pressed our lips together harder. My hand traveled down his back, leaving a trail of fire on the fabric of his shirt as I slid my hand under the bottom of his shirt, my hand coming in contact with the warm skin of his back. He chuckled against my lips before bringing his mouth back down to my smiling lips.

"Baby Boy, supper is- Oh… um…" A voice called from the door, making us break apart, Eli whipping his head around to glare at his mom with his swollen lips.

"Really, Mom? _Again?"_

**_End of Chapter 12._**

**Ahh, I'm proud of this one. I cried. Like, a lot. So... good, bad? Write me a review and tell me, please? I'll probably have the next chapter up next weekend at the latest!**

**-Emmy.**


	13. Figure It Out

**I know, I know. You can yell at me for not updating for over two months. I'm really sorry... I was kind of putting off writing it because I usually make them quite long. Writing such long chapters makes them sort of undesirable to write because I don't have a lot of time to write, so from now on, I'll be making them shorter... Even though the end of this story is coming up soon. Only a few more chapters. **

**Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: You can probably guess what I'm gonna' say. **

It's been three days since Eli and I went to get my things at my father's house.

Eli fought to stay home with me, but CeCe ultimately made the decision for him to go back to school this week. Much to his dismay, she insisted that she would entertain me and take care of me while he was at school.

"I don't need an education." He'd argued, making CeCe and I laugh.

On the first day he went back, he propped my feet up on his lap as I laid and watched morning music videos, a habit of his that'd rubbed off on me. I glanced at the clock and it was almost 7:30, but I figured Eli would leave when he knew he'd have to. Five more minutes, and he was still rubbing small circles on my calf.

"Elijah Thomas. Get off your ass and get to school." I heard his mother shout from the kitchen, and I laughed lightly, trying not to jostle my stomach too much. Eli scowled, looking like he was moping. I moved my legs off of his lap and scooted next to him, resting my head on his shoulder as he ran his fingers mindlessly through my curls.

"You're gonna' be late." I said softly, playing with on his fingers.

"I don't want to leave." He almost whined.

"Oh, c'mon. It'll probably be nice to get a break from me." I pointed out, and he moved to look me in the eye.

"Why would I want to be away from you when I can barely get enough of you?" He stated, and a light pink hue cascaded across my cheeks. "I'll miss you." He said softly, kissing the side of my head, his lips lightly touching my hair.

"I'll miss you too. I love your mom and all, but having fun with her just isn't the same as when it's you." I joked, pecking him on the lips softly. He smirked.

"Well, I better get going." He began to get up, slinging his bag over his shoulder while I situated myself again. "I love you." His lips brushed my forehead, lingering for a few sweet seconds.

"I love you, too, _Elijah Thomas._" I teased, and he smiled while rolling his eyes and hiking his bag higher up on his shoulder.

"ELIJAH. IF I HAVE TO ASK YOU _ONE MORE TIME…"_ CeCe shouted from the kitchen, some banging being heard shortly after. Eli rolled his eyes before walking towards the front door.

"Bye, I'll miss you, _Clare-Bear."_ He teased in return, and I tried not to grimace as I heard the nickname my father calls me. Instead, I slapped on a smile.

"I'll miss you too."

"Bye." He said while opening the front door, never breaking eye contact with me. I waved, and he seemed like he had to tear his eyes away from mine before exiting through the threshold and stepping out onto the porch. About a minute later, I heard Morty start up and drive down the rest of the road. I felt like something was missing, something as important as an arm or a leg.

"Baby Girl, do you like chocolate chip pancakes?" Came from the kitchen, and I smiled slightly at the nickname.

"Of course." I loudly replied, hearing more banging, assumedly a pan being fought with to come out of the cupboard. I continued watching pictures dance across the screen, missing Eli's presence and his entire essence.

"Here you go, sweetheart." A plate of chocolatey pancakes were placed on my lap, along with a fork and napkin, a glass of milk set on the coffee table in front of me. I was so consumed in blanking out at the TV, I didn't even hear CeCe walk in.

"Thank you so much, CeCe." I offered her a smile, and she waved it off. She looked at me expectantly, and I cut off a portion of the stack and popped a piece into my mouth, chewing and assuring her that her cooking was a success. She kept peeking her head around the kitchen corner, sometimes her eyes only lingering for a few seconds, but sometimes the glances lasted longer. When everything was finished, I carefully set the empty, sticky plate onto the coffee table next to my empty glass. She observed this, quickly coming to take my dishes to the kitchen to be cleaned.

"Maybe you should take a nap, sweetie. The doctor said that rest was important to the healing process." She stated smartly.

"Maybe I will." I got up to my feet, my wool-socks coming in contact with the carpet. I went up the stairs before CeCe could say anything else, wincing with each step. It seemed like it had taken hours to reach the top, but when I finally did, I was relieved. I trotted softly into Eli's room, eyeing his unmade bed with grey sheets and a black comforter. My head hit the pillow, and I could instantly smell him: this woodsy, almost minty, Eli smell. I clutched the comforter close to my face, closing my eyes and inhaling his scent. The smell only made me fall asleep faster, my lids remaining closed as I quickly drifted off to sleep.

.

.

.

"_Why?" My mother asked, swinging with a bit more force now. _

"_I just can't. He's the only family I have left." I said sadly, my legs becoming limp as I stopped swinging them. Kids were laughing in the background, sliding down the metal slide, giggle after giggle being heard. _

"_You have me." She smiled softly at me, her eyes lightening for a second. _

"_I'll always have you, mom. You're just… not with me anymore." I said softly and sadly, and she frowned for a brief moment. _

"_I'll always be with you, Clare. I'll always watch over you and try to keep you safe." She said, sounding saddened. "And for your protection, I'm going to ask you this. Is it really worth it?" _

"_I don't know anymore. I just don't know." _

"_Figure it out." She told me bluntly. _

My eyes shot open, taking in the same band posters that covered and took over the walls. A tear escaped, dripped down over the bridge of my nose and onto the grey sheet, the drop darker than the rest of it. It was very dim in the room, some light sleeking in between the sides of the shades over the windows. The darkness only made me feel even more alone.

_Figure it out._ Her words repeated in my head. _Is it really worth it?_

I still don't know. Is it worth having a father when he does such terrible things? He kicks me, he punches me, he pulls me even closer to the edge. But he's my dad.

He raised me. He made my mom laugh. He used to take Darcy and I to the park and push us on the swings. He went to church, wrapping an arm around my mother the whole time. He read me stories before bedtime, telling me over and over that there was no monster in my room. He hurts me.

And out of all those things, that last one stood out. It stood out and covered up each memory behind it, making them harder and harder to remember. It felt like I was picturing those old memories through thick gauze, because now, they were overpowered by that last one.

That last one? It's not going away. There is no intervention, no way to get him help without telling the truth. I didn't know what to do, with each side of the decision, there was something on the line that could tip over and bash itself to pieces.

I knew where I had to go.

.

.

.

"CeCe, I'm going on a walk, okay?" I reached the bottom of the stairs, relief that the steps weren't tugging on my bandages with every movement.

"Clare, I don't think you should, you need to rest."

"Please?" I pleaded with her, ready to leave even if her answer was no.

"… Fine. But don't go far." That was all I needed. I slipped through the front door, out onto the steps, the crisp autumn air making me wrap my jacket further around myself, careful when doing so. It seemed like I'd taken this same route such a long time ago, but in reality it was only a couple weeks ago. I strode through the open gate, my sneakers walking across the dark grass until my eyes saw the shriveled up blue flower, the petals now turned a dull gray. My feet stopped and I winced as I sat down in the grass. I traced the indented letters in front of me with my fingers.

_Gone, but never forgotten._

"Hey mom." I whispered breathily. A cool breeze flowed through my curls, and I could hear a few leaves rustling. I sat on the slightly damp grass for about a minute. "I thought about what you said. I still don't know." I sighed shakily. "I wish you would give me a sign or something. Should I tell someone?" I waited for the cliché movie moment, where the wind would blow or a note would magically flow through the wind and land on my lap, or there was nothing. Just the sound of cars and a siren in the distance, the occasional sound of glass banging together from the flower shop across the street. I buried my face in my hands, curling into myself and deciding to ignore the screaming of my ribs. The last week came back at me like rushing water.

.

"_Shut up, bitch!"_

_Tears ran down my face as he kept taking his foot back and kicking me. _

"_Where w-were you?" He shouted. I lied. "I was… with a friend." He started screaming. "You lying little whore! Where t-the fuck were you!"_

"_You think that you can just run away, huh?" I scoffed. "Yes! Because you're just a sick, drunk bastard you hits your own children!" SMACK. "Maybe one day you'll learn to listen." He whispered sinisterly. _

"_I, um, need to talk to Eli." _

_Eli's room was the first door on the left of the hallway, and I saw his head peeking out the door, watching me. His eyes has unshed tears as his eyes met mine, and he had this look in his eyes that I hope I never have to see again. _

"_You're a terrible liar."_

"_This would be perfect if you'd tell me the truth."_

"_When he's angry… he hits me. And he kicks me, really really hard." His fists clenched. "C-can… can I see?" _

"_How could you let him do this to you for so long!"_

"_It needs to end before it gets worse." But I'd been working for two years to hide it._

"_Where the fuck were y-you… last night?" He screamed. "I was at Alli's." He got in my face. "You're a fucking liar. Didn't your little church group ever tell you lying was a sin?" _

"_Clare, look at me. Look at me! Wake up. Clare!" _

"_He gave you four broken ribs. The doctor also said you had evidence of previous fractures. Why didn't you ever tell anyone?" He asked softly, and I lost it. "YOU. DON'T. GET. IT." I screamed._

_I wanted the monster to stay. And that was plainly wrong. But it was because I love him. _

_._

I can't take this anymore. I love him… but it isn't worth it. All this heartbreak, all the emotional strain, all the physical pain. I shouldn't keep giving him chances to hurt me and opportunities to break me down until I couldn't even live in my own house anymore. I'm sick and tired of it.

My dad needs help.

Alcohol has taken over his life and ruined it in its wake. If he didn't stop now, it would only get worse. He needed to get his life back together and get some help from somewhere. And the only way to get him some, is to tell someone the whole truth, the entire story.

No edits, no revision. The real story.

I brushed the top of her gravestone with my fingers with a sad smile. Right then, my cell phone rang. I slid it out of my pocket and stared at the caller ID, wiping a quick tear away before pressing _answer_.

"Hey." I kept my voice even.

"Where are you?"

"On a walk." I said slowly.

"Hmm. Me too." Eli chuckled. I smiled slightly, even if he couldn't see it. "Aren't you supposed to be at home?" He said with concern.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" I retorted. He chuckled softly.

"Eh. They weren't teaching me anything important." He said with amusement, making me laugh. A thought crossed my mind.

"Hey, will you meet me at the bench in front of the flower shop?"

"Yeah, I'm actually on that street right now." He replied, and I could hear wind blowing into the receiver of his cell phone.

"M'kay, I'll see you in a minute."

"Can't wait." He said with humor, and I rolled my eyes before saying a quick bye and hanging up. The wind blew, making the tear trails on my cheeks become colder, and I wiped them with my sleeve. I got up to my feet carefully, holding my breath as my ribs tugged on themselves. Even with my injury, I caressed the top of the stone with my palm and touched my lips softly to the top of the grave. "Bye, mom. I love you." I said quietly as I walked towards the entrance of the cemetery. My feet hit the sidewalk, and I silently waited until the traffic was slower before walking across the street to the bench in front of the flower shop. Before I reached it, I looked down the street to see Eli about one-hundred fifty feet away, fidgetting with his phone. I smiled softly as I continued across the street, placing myself gently down onto the wooden bench.

"Why were you coming from the cemetery?" His voice asked from about twenty feet away, and I looked down as he took a seat next to me, slinging his arm across my shoulder.

"'Just visiting my mom." I said quietly, and he nodded in understanding.

"You okay?" I nodded, and he squeezed my knee with his other hand, and then glanced behind us, raising an eyebrow. "I'll be right back." He told me with a brief smile, and I nodded hesitantly with confusion. He disappeared, and I didn't bother watching where he went off to. He came back about five minutes later, bouquet in hand. I looked at him questioningly.

"For your mom." He explained with a smile, and my stomach had butterflies. He held his hand out to me to help me up from the bench, and when I was on my feet, I wrapped my arms around him.

"Thank you." I breathed into his blazer, and I felt his arms hug me back, the wrapping from the flowers crinkling in the process. He was too sweet.

"No need to thank me. C'mon." He grabbed my hand, pulling me gently towards the crosswalk. My feet moved gingerly, and he paused and looked at me before scooping me up into his arms. I hooked them around his neck and giggled when he continued across the street. My finger pointed the direction to her grave, and he set me down when we reached it. We stayed for about half an hour, and it consisted of Eli propping the flowers against the stone and him telling her things along the lines of, "Hey, Mrs. Edwards. I'm Clare's handsome and extremely intelligent _boyfriend."_

"Bye, mom. I love you." I said quietly when we were finished. He grabbed my hand as we walked out of the cemetery, and Eli was about to pick me back up and take me back to his house when I stopped him.

"You don't have to carry me. And can we go somewhere else?"

"What? Where?" He questioned with confusion, an eyebrow cocked. I squeezed his hand as the image of my father's face came to mind and I smiled sadly.

"To Degrassi. I have to talk to Ms. Sauve."

_**End of Chapter 13.**_

**To everyone who kept reading this fic, thank you for leaving such awesome reviews and sticking with it. Only a few more chapters... I'm kind of sad. Thanks Kami for nagging me about this, I appreciate it, Haha. Reviews make my day, please tell me what you thought of this chapter?**

**-Emmy.**


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